theonion.com
Peter Thiel Shows Trump How To Sort Spreadsheet Of Americans By Ethnicity
WASHINGTON—Stressing that it would be simplest to troubleshoot now during the onboarding process for his company’s surveillance technology, Palantir founder Peter Thiel reportedly spent Tuesday morning showing President Donald Trump how to sort a spreadsheet of Americans by ethnicity. “So what’s neat is that you can just do command-shift-E and rank every single resident from […]
![Comic. Confusion matrix showing renditions of different combinations, colored yellow, tan, or gray. [Air: gamma rays Y, neutrons Y, alpha particles G, light Y, sound Y, heat Y, swords Y, toxic dust Y, radio Y, sharks G] [Lead: gamma rays G, neutrons T, alpha particles G, light G, Sound Y, heat Y, swords G, toxic dust T, radio G, sharks G] [Water: gamma rays T, neutrons G, alpha particles G, light T, sound Y, heat Y, swords Y, toxic dust Y, radio G, sharks Y] [Vacuum: gamma rays Y, neutrons Y, alpha particles Y, light Y, sound G, heat T, swords Y, toxic dust Y, radio Y, sharks G] [Oven mitts: gamma rays Y, neutrons Y, alpha particles G, light G, sound T, heat G, swords Y, toxic dust Y, radio Y, sharks Y] [Armor: gamma rays Y, neutrons Y, alpha particles G, light G, sound Y, heat Y, swords G, toxic dust Y, radio G, sharks T] [Biohazard suit: gamma rays Y, neutrons Y, alpha particles G, light G, sound Y, heat Y, swords Y, toxic dust G, radio Y, sharks Y] [Faraday cage: gamma rays Y, neutrons Y, alpha particles Y, light Y, sound Y, heat Y, swords Y, toxic dust Y, radio G, sharks Y] [Shark cage: gamma rays Y, neutrons Y, alpha particles Y, light Y, sound Y, heat Y, swords Y, toxic dust Y, radio Y, sharks G]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreib7rzofmrqb5cvnyccnb7ftj6qroxtp55i4dqqnbp2ozun6gaxbkm)
