iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I think I need a butler. I wake up and I just lie here like kafka's beetle doing nothing when I know that some tea and my slippers would fix everything but they are so far away (5 meters)

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

'have you considered writing in a different genre' oh you like the trumpet do you, i bet you'd be good at the oboe. if you love football you'd be great at archery, im going to walk directly into the ocean

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

still thinking about the weekend when I was concentrating on a new rope tie I'm learning, so I say to the guy 'turn around please' and he looks me dead in the eye and says "um you are the dom you don't have to ask" and I am like right right sorry shut your bitch mouth and turn around please

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

love the endless debate between tolkien and cs lewis as if they were two different schools of fantasy when if you plot them on the graph between cave paintings and romantasy they are basically touching butts together somewhere in the middle

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

the days are starting to get noticeably shorter, which means I am entering my autumn-grumpy period, a subtly but crucially different frame of mind from spring-grumpy, summer-grumpy and winter-grumpy

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

someone mistaking me for a switch at the bondage event, growing evidence for my theory that no-one else in history aside from me has ever intentionally chosen the red/dominant wristband, and that all subs are colourblind

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

why is having my boots cleaned by the tongue of another man such a healing experience. i don't know. I can't afford that expensive a therapist

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

i have this habit of being extremely dogmatic about something i'm feeling in the moment (wednesdays are unfair. babies should be illegal) and 24hrs later someone will bring it up and I'll be like "well i don't think I said that" and they play me the video but I remain unconvinced

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

i sent off a form to the tax office in april, and all it needs (ALL it needs) is a single stamp and to be sent back to me, now when they quoted three months I initially thought that was very funny, but now its september and suffice it to say I have lost my sense of humour over it

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

EMILY: im in paris EMILY'S WIFE: we should murder the king of scotland

an article header reading "JD VANCE: Emily in Paris is the 'Shakespeare of our time'"

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I always think i've grown up and matured but then I play one game of warhammer and I become the salt demon

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Reposted by Oliver Darkshire

A. Banana @sandshrewd.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

ISABELLA NAGG AND THE POT OF BASIL by @deathbybadger.bsky.social is absurd in the best way. Many laugh-out-loud moments interwoven into a whimsical (and at times heavy) story. #booksky #books #reading app.thestorygraph.com/reviews/d738...

app.thestorygraph.com

Review by banana_hutch - Isabella Nagg and the Pot of Basil

Oh, this book was so much fun. Fantastical village pettiness, some dark little twists and turn...

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

being a writer at this specific point in history is sort of like being a 15th century monk/scribe as someone dumps a printing press at the door of the abbey because yes you might be destroying my entire way of life but it somehow feels like it's you lot who are out of your depth

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

I will prep for D&D night like i sure hope my players enjoy this subtle, intrigue filled drow opera adventure it took me 6 hours to write, and then the paladin will dive on stage (naked, somehow) due to an admirable but ill timed case of acute lesbianism and i crumple up my notes

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

fell asleep at my desk, woke up and was like where are my glasses so I get up to find them but something crunches underfoot, and let me tell you the words that came out of my mouth could have turned the devil blue at 20 paces

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

for some reason I always think of the human lifespan as roughly 100 years but really we're lucky to get 80 aren't we. and yet here I am. posting through it.

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

I am always like do I really *need* to go to bondage night and then I find a bear to tie up and grind on from behind, and turns out yea that's exactly what I needed

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

I hope they paid the author a LOT of money to write that astarion book because the 1000-year-old-twink fandom are being extremely normal about it as you can imagine

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

I prefer the theory that the trait of occasional homosexuality evolved in order to let some of us get art done and do drugs while everyone else passes around screaming pooping fleshlings

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

at the sti clinic for the routine tests which means its time again to see if I'm masc enough to pass for a top by how much the nurse raises their eyebrows at the information

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

"but i would WANT the mutant cure if my x man power was crab genitals/death boobs/toothbrush fingers" okay well this is not a gotcha this sort of nuance is what the x men are about, you are *supposed* to be asking questions about conformity and identity, 10/10 champ well done

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

the dragonlance novels all have this "what if I was sexily negged by an evil wizard who cant or wont have sex with me" thing going on which I always enjoy

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

making a new friend from outside your usual circles is so fun because you are just sat there nodding through the small talk for weeks waiting for whatever absolutely fucking insane opinions they absolutely have to come bursting out like a hydra with 20 heads

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

unfortunately i think one pillar in the temple my sexuality might be that season of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia where mac gets "fat" for like 10 episodes which i gather from context is supposed to be ugly but my eyes stretched out of my head like a looney tunes character

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

was out for drinks the other day and this guy was trying to describe a character like the blue woman, its sci fi, shes a blue woman THE BLUE WOMAN and we are like buddy you are going to have to narrow it down

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

trying to explain the intricacies of british class politics to an outsider not spawned in the seething swamps of england and boiling it down to: you are born a blood magic vampire or a disgusting mud troll, you can be a rich troll or a poor vampire but you can never switch groups

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Reposted by Oliver Darkshire

sexy baba yaga @beardynoise.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Sat in Sydney airport, waiting for my flight to Adelaide and starting to read what is quite possibly the *only* copy of @deathbybadger.bsky.social 's new book in the whole of Australia

A copy of The Devil and Mrs Gooch, featuring the titular Mrs Gooch holding the devil in her thrall on the cover

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Reposted by Oliver Darkshire

Kirsty aka ScrapHeapChallenge @gaydemonicdisaster.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

@deathbybadger.bsky.social that one member of the party who always wants to use “fireball” 😆

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

fascists will be like The Noble Wisdom of our Ancient Past but then you'll open an actual book and the noble wisdom will be "snakes flee at the sound of the mandolin because they have no spleen, the organ of lust" and "electrum makes you gay"

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

ALIEN 1: whats that species over there ALIEN 2: oh thats a human, dont talk to them, they love to domesticate things HUMAN: (waving a piece of bacon) 😃 ALIEN 1: they do seem friendly ALIEN 2: i am consumed by an urge to live indoors

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

i actually think that if someone enters my home and I offer them tea only for them to request coffee I should be allowed under the laws of hospitality to strike them

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

AI companies (preparing to start up the book-shredder 5000): why does everyone hate us

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

late for dinner at odysseus' palace like omg can't believe you're back, you look great btw, i said to the guys all the time we should totally respect odysseus' wife, yea no I mean its your palace right, if you needed to shoot a few guys its cool what am i the arrow police haha

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

30 minutes of patiently explaining Do Not put that Lorry on that Fragile Sinking Sewer Manhole outside our House and i turn my back only for them to flat out ignore me, two seconds of bellowing ARE YOU BLIND AND DEAF in my big boy voice and i get results, i am learning all kinds of lessons today

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Reposted by Oliver Darkshire

Carlos Cisco @carloscisco.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

We should all be so lucky that we have such a robust body of work that our kinks can be easily identified by dedicated readers.

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

I am reading this book by walt odets about why gay men are so fucked up and after every chapter I'll do something like sit in the shower for two days and think about my choices only for the next chapter to be called "shower squatting: a queer defense mechanism"

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

INTERVIEWER: i am NOT going to call you a good boy ARMAND: ah you bully armand, you torture him with your endless questions, cruel! unkind! to little armand the vampire, why do you malign him so 🥺 INTERVIEWER: im not doing it ARMAND: your childrens children will pay for this

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

companies burning 75million here and 352 million there like 'we're not profitable' and everyone I know wants 3.50 for a sandwich but the economy cant sustain it

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

turning up to the book visibility alchemist like "my codex is invisible" and they are like "have you tried essence of grendel" and I say of course I have and they say well we can replace the cover but that'll be 5 gold coins and im like a whole new book is 3 gold coins! and they just shrug

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

had the handyman over to fix something and he asks if I am watching the football which obviously I am not, I mean look around you frank, is this the house of a man who knows the offside rule, be serious

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

'you cant control what the reader thinks' incorrect. many readers show significant attitude improvement after being placed inside the pain colander

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Reposted by Oliver Darkshire

Kirsty aka ScrapHeapChallenge @gaydemonicdisaster.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

Huge thanks to the fabulous @elwyst.bsky.social , my American book dealer & fellow #GoodOmens fan, who got @deathbybadger.bsky.social’s new book, #TheDevilAndMrsGooch, not readily available in the UK, & posted it to me with a load of goodies, including #Discworld stickers. 🥰🥰🥰

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

I love it when old books are like "throw salt in the eyes of a demon to repel it" or "drop a bundle of sticks at their feet to confuse them" because it feels like this would work on pretty much any ordinary person and also dogs and stuff

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

once a month someone sends me this game and says "have you seen this" and I have to look up, haggard, with ink stained hands, and say 'yes i made it'

i cant face typing the text of Trapped in a Cabin with Lord Byron out because I lost the original file and I dont have the strength

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

if you would also like to be vexed and cross at villainy you can read an excerpt here, but only if you can stomach skeletal concierges Chapter 6: The Hotel Paramort cdn.wwnorton.com/marketing/tr...

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Reposted by Oliver Darkshire

Holir @holir.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

Just finished the first chapter of The Devil and Mrs. Gooch by @deathbybadger.bsky.social. I AM VEXED & CROSS!

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

it is 2026. the future of british politics lies in the hands of a man with a trash can taped to his head called count binface. how could one fruit basket have caused so much chaos? you boot up your time machine — cleopatra must survive

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

the secret to reading stuffy romantic-era poetry like wordsworth is you have to imagine a really hot guy reading it to you, hes only talking about trees because society says you cant fuck in an arboretum, this is how it was intended to be read

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