dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 04/10/2026"I don't care if my rap's any good / I can try my best then burp" 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 25/09/2026The first thing my mom said to me today: "Bill and Hillary are GONE. I don't know where they went." 111
Reposted by @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.socialStephanie 🍉 @ageofoddish.bsky.social · 18/09/2026mmygod 1207836645
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Playing a game where you have to come up with a connection for three drawn cards Lin Manuel Miranda, Santa Claus, King Kong Mary's connection: they are all recognizable by facial hair Vera's connection: they're all make believe except for Santa 221
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 12/09/2026You know what we should use AI for? Live captioning on the jumbotron at live events. 111
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 06/09/2026"do you not know anything about pronuncernation?" 011
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 05/09/2026"Dad, why are there so many D&D podcasts??" Lol lol lol 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Sometimes I'm doing exactly what Christian nationalists think a queer guy like me with colored hair and tattoos does on a Monday night 120
Reposted by @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.socialRob Sheridan @rob-sheridan.com · 20/07/2026MULDER [slapping down plane tix]: Hope you packed your rain coat, Scully. SCULLY: Seattle? Mulder it's the weekend, what- MULDER [handing her a file] Confirmed sightings, Scully. This is big SCULLY [eyes wide]: My God Mulder, what am I looking at here? MULDER: The locals are calling it.. JIMOTHY 4375541671
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 21/07/2026"the thing I love most about my dad is ... Gums? Gums scare?" It was "games and cute" @lastpinepress.com 010
Reposted by @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.socialWill McKinley @willmckinley.bsky.social · 21/07/2026GHOST WORLD (2001) is 25 today and it's streaming free w/ a library card on Kanopy and Hoopla. How totally amazing. #FilmSky 1739290
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 20/07/2026I don't want a collegiate team. I want a team of like, tired millennials. - Overhead in Logan Square 031
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Lying awake listening to rogue fireworks and I just don't think Will Smith would be able to fly that alien spacecraft 020
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Independence Day is a really good movie, but the soundtrack could have gone so much harder. And I acknowledge that Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus wasn't released until 2009, but come on it's been 15+ years now and there isn't a special edition re-release? 010
Reposted by @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.socialSean Thomason @seanthomason.bsky.social · 02/07/2026Freedom 250? Everyone knows this country peaked with Freedom ‘90. 217338
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 02/07/2026The two genders according to public pool lifeguards: sweetie, bud 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 30/06/2026You know it's hot when the cats sleep like hotdogs instead of hamburgers 021
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 14/06/2026Mommy, I know how to write "buttcrack" in cursive 110
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 13/06/2026I just want to read. In the sun. With my friends. 110
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 13/06/2026I'm not sure of the exact currency conversion rate, but I think this week I became a trillionaire in being proud of my kid #ri¢h 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 12/06/2026My kid just asked for the Lucy Dacus song that goes "I can poke you wherever I want" (Ankles) 021
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 10/06/2026In 13 short years, my kid will be 21 and she, me, and @lastpinepress.com will all to do bar trivia together and our team name will be "Trivial Fur Suit" 020
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 26/05/2026I needed to look up the name for the worm foreskin and I was not disappointed 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 22/05/2026I kind of love that I Love Boosters is playing right next to The Devil Wears Prada 2 at the Oriental right now. 033
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 17/05/2026My kid said I should get this at Aldi but I have bluesky so I put it back 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 17/05/2026My picky second grader 🤝 my picky cat CANNED MEAT 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 11/05/2026When I grow up I don't want to have any tattoos and people will call me "Blank Page" 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 03/05/2026New eggcorn from my second grader: "Bank-Robbed" for bankrupt 031
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 02/05/2026The Last Man on Earth Adventure Time Law & Order: SVU Criminal Minds What We Do in the Shadows Naked and Afraid Jeopardy! Sex and the City Wandavision King of the Hill Task Master Our Flag Means Death the one with the metal detecting guys who yell a lot OMG Fashun Freaks and Geeks 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 02/05/2026@lastpinepress.com just called our cat a "popped pimple of a person" 100
Reposted by @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.socialThem @them.us · 22/04/2026Tim Heidecker Wants to Make Infowars the Premier Destination for Trans Comedythem.usTim Heidecker Wants to Make Infowars the Premier Destination for Trans ComedyPost-Onion takeover, the comedian has big plans for the right-wing conspiracy website. 502169542
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 23/04/2026Thanks to @jltgonmyphone.bsky.social for my 2nd grader's current favorite gag: a few friends will struggle to lift a really heavy invisible trophy until more friends come help and then everyone yells "TROPHY OF FRIENDSHIP!!" with the invisible trophy hoisted aloft 000
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 16/04/2026I only do crimes where I would be acquitted on the "just being a goofy little guy" defense 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 16/04/2026This is where I flex that I've seen both Herman's Hermits and Pavement live, though neither in their respective heydays 020
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 07/04/2026I hate small talk with grown ups but I looove big talk with small kids. You went to Hawaii for spring break? Tell me about it! You threw up on the plane three times? Heck yeah, these are the highlights I want. The important info. 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 04/04/2026Style comparisons my partner has made for my recent 'fits: dick-swinging guitarist of Hawkwind, Anime villan 110
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 03/04/2026Does anyone have the Easter Bunny's email address? Is he on LinkedIn? 010
Reposted by @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.socialNichole @tnwhiskeywoman.bsky.social · 16/03/2026Gonna hold on to this croissant metaphor for the rest of my creative life 4962811859
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 13/03/2026"I cannot sanction your buffoonery"- Tommy Lee Jones to Jim Carey 111
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 10/03/2026Ticketmaster Verified Fan of Democracy ™- ID and proof of citizenship required to get tickets to vote 010
Reposted by @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.socialMr. Juice Box @toxicjuicebox.com · 04/03/2026Good morning! Yes, this is he 3053951197
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 17/02/2026Me, a feminist scholar, outbidding dudes for 60s-70s Playboys 110
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 15/01/2026Hey Google, name my timer 'Chorizo.' 000
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 10/01/2026I've been on Raya while on IVF PTSD from all the tests Hormonal rants on IG Scrolling my feed while breastfeeding Spent too much on Etsy Expensive shit I don't need Bossy, bad, and bougie Like push, push, hold it, breathe - Sexistential by Robyn Damn, i have been desiring some raw Mom culture. 🫦 110
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 04/01/2026If you can't stand the pee smell, get out of the city. 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 03/01/2026Do grown ups know what the f word means or is it like 6-7? 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 12/12/2025"All the animals just stare at you Like you just peed your pants Or done a poo poo" Vera's song about a bunch of animals in the forest 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 07/12/2025Does my kid have the world's smelliest feet? Or does she have the world's most always in my face feet? 110
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 17/11/2025Second grade Gift of the Magi My kid begged for new sneakers so she could match her best friend. We said no, but I relented saying she could use her own money toward them. Monday morning comes and she's so excited to show her best friend the matching sneakers Except, the friend also got new shoes 010
dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social @dearling-g0ldfart.bsky.social · 17/11/2025This is the q-tip song. Don't stick them in your ear, just sing along. 010
