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Craig Schaefer

@craigschaeferbooks.com
1.4K followers 324 following 5.8K posts

Writes books, mostly about magic and outlaws. Making my rat-nest in Providence. My latest, Triple World Score, is available now. (www.amazon.com/dp/B0HHFGX5N6)

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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 1m
"We have a machine that will tell you whatever you want to hear, so you don't have to listen to facts or science!" That's...bad, though, right? You get how that's bad, right?
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 15h
I just got a contagious yawn through text. Character in a book yawned, I yawned.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 18h
So after canceling the highly-regarded and award-winning Spider Noir, Deadline announced that the replacement will be a show based on...the Clone Saga. One of the most hated Spider-Man storylines ever written. Do these people just hate money?
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 29/09/2026
I give it two days before it's retooled and starts declaring itself SuperHitler
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 28/09/2026
Surprise Helluva Boss short dropping on Saturday featuring Loona and Octavia, so can it please be Saturday now? Would appreciate it, kthx
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theJoelWirth @thejoelwirth.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
All I can think of is how Excalibur & the crew now have to eulogize another friend two weeks after doing it for Butcher. It's so unfair for us, so unimaginable for them. Thinking of those who knew him and wishing for them a peace that doesn't seem even possible.
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Tony Miller @beardedrogue.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Yep, this is real. I hope Steven is ok. Good on Bryce and the doctor for stopping the match. #AEW
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 27/09/2026
Sending out my heart to Steve. This is...not something any wrestling fan wants to see, ever.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 27/09/2026
We need to take up a collection to buy Andrade some proper tearaway pants. If you are not into #AEW, I promise this post makes sense
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 27/09/2026
"Democrats are too wrapped up in trans issues" buddy there is one political party that will NOT FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT TRANS PEOPLE FOR FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES, and it is not the democrats
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 26/09/2026
So what matches are we hyped for tonight, wrestlefam? I'm super eager to see Cope and Christian x the Young Bucks x FTR. I predict that there is no chance the ring doesn't look like a literal crime scene by the end of it.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 26/09/2026
I saw this, and now I'm making you see this, because I am a horrible person Not as horrible as whoever the fuck designed this box, but still, pretty bad
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Carl T. Bergstrom @carlbergstrom.com · 26/09/2026
Does my Speak-n-Spell feel pain when I type O-U-C-H? The jury is out. Philosophers and neuroscientists say that's fucking stupid, but I called a guy from the Center for Pretending that Household Electronics Are Sentient and he said there's no way to know for sure.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 26/09/2026
DraftKings is pure fucking evil. Heroin dealers don't even go this far out of their way to addict and exploit people.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 26/09/2026
Are you aware of Rifftrax? Did you know that Mystery Science Theater never actually ended? Do you like things that are good? Get some Rifftrax in your life.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 25/09/2026
Foreshadowing things years in advance is a thing I will never cease to do and then giggle evilly about.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 25/09/2026
Getting a large pizza 'cause screw it, the nor'easter is rolling in and I can nibble on it all weekend with or without electricity.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 25/09/2026
When I interviewed and hired people for my accounting department, the idea of disqualifying someone for bringing a beverage wouldn't have even occurred to me. Like...Why? Who gives a fuck? I wanted the best candidates, and the best candidates are allowed to be thirsty.
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dr. thrasher, an american writer in ex(archia)(xile) @thrasherxy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
in 2017, a trans reporter was fired at @marketplace.org for writing a blog post abt the need for journalists to resist rising fascism, racism and transphobia. @kairyssdal.bsky.social, the host of the show, said nothing & let his colleague's career be murdered. judge his hr tips accordingingly.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 25/09/2026
So happy to see Faust readers discovering Noir York and liking it. Please allow me to share the unofficial theme song, which is where Any Minor World got its title: www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBzz...
youtube.com
Any Major Dude Will Tell You
YouTube video by Steely Dan - Topic
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 24/09/2026
I'm an aunt. I am not sure how I feel about this. Nothing but love for my lil' brother, his wife and the new life they just brought into the world, though.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 24/09/2026
I am having a Michael Keaton "you want to get nuts?" moment. Okay, so my water heater is continuing to malfunction which means there is an alarm going off once a minute, every minute, since yesterday. No, I have not slept. Landlord is not calling me back. I am going slightly insane.
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Brian Jay Jones @brianjayjones.com · 24/09/2026
Jim Henson would have been 90 (yup, you read that right: NINETY) years old today. You can celebrate his life by celebrating creativity, diversity, peace, imagination, and silliness.
A tuxedoed Jim Henson sits in a sea of Muppets.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 24/09/2026
If you aren't down with Mox, I don't know what to tell ya.
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Christopher Sebela @xtop.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
happy LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS day to those who observe it (it's me, i'm the one who observes it)
opening titles to LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS that read: "on the twenty-third day of the month of September, in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence"
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 23/09/2026
Tuberville is amazing in the sense that...where do you even START with this asshole? Every word that comes out of his mouth is deranged and stupid to such a degree that it's impossible to find a place to dismantle his dick behavior and non-stop lies. I expect the GOP to run him as a prez candidate.
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C N Rowan - Urban Fantasy Author @cnrowan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Marvel at me moving like a slightly deranged robot to promote the advance copies of the new first in series! Comment ARC for the link there or GOODREADS for the link to that contest! #fantasy
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 23/09/2026
Calling in building maintenance to fix a washer issue and belatedly realizing my PC's Starlight Glimmer desktop wallpaper is on full display. Okay, just gonna curl up and die over here, never mind me.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 22/09/2026
"Taylor Swift announces Patient Zero" okay this is the seed for the most fucked up and amazing zombie movie ever made, hear me out
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 22/09/2026
If a judge said this to me I would crawl under the nearest rock and remain there forever
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Good Ol' WT @keyguardactive.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
One of the regulars from @mysterywrestling.bsky.social Leah Sparks has posted that she broke her neck in a match. And because her non-wrestling job is circus, she's in a bit of a mess. So because I know the love Wrestlesky shows Mystery, I'm posting to see if we can toss a couple bucks her way 🤼‍♂️
gofundme.com
Donate to Help Leah Sparks (LeeAnn Ball) recover from C2 Neck Fracture, organized by LeeAnn Ball
My name is LeeAnn Ball but some may know me better as Leah … LeeAnn Ball needs your support for Help Leah Sparks (LeeAnn Ball) recover from C2 Neck Fracture
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Sarah Andersen @sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The image is of a four panel comic.
In the first panel we see Sarah, the protagonist, next to a stick figure labeled “AI”. The stick figure says, “my outputs look just like yours now.”
The second panel zooms in on Sarah’s face. Above her we see text reading “I think”.
The third panel zooms in closer on Sarah’s face. Text above her reads “you missed”.
The fourth panel shows Sarah drawing happily in a sunlit room. The text above her reads “the point”.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 22/09/2026
My heart goes out to all the artists on Tapas. Losing your platform with no warning utterly fucking sucks, and I hope you find a better place to land.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 22/09/2026
Did I make a mistake when I catered exclusively to landlords and said City Hall was "my building"? No, it is the voters who are wrong
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 22/09/2026
Your reminder that polygraphs are complete junk science on par with dowsing rods, and it's utterly insane that any branch of our government uses them in 2026.
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Colin Spacetwinks @spacetwinks.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
to a t, every single vote scolder i've gotten to talk to me like a human being has revealed that they mostly feel terrified this will not be all of them. plenty are just shitheads. hence, 'the ones i've gotten to talk to me like a human'. the fear grips their throat and they don't know what to do.
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Colin Spacetwinks @spacetwinks.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
really is a motherfucker knowing that if dem leadership/seniority signaled that trans rights were worth standing up for, every single person scolding and berating about how this sacrifice just HAS to happen would 180 overnight to "we draw the line here. abandoning people in need would be cruel"
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Krista D Ball is Canada's Mouthy Potato @kristadb1.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
This is from my new AI statement, dedicated to Bluesky copyright abolitionists that I haven't blocked yet 🥰
Oh, and to those readers who will load this to “archive sites”
because you’re an uwu smolbean communist or some other bullshit
you tell yourself? Fuck you. Those sites sold my books to AI
companies for their own fucking profit.
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Skyla Dawn Cameron @skyladawn.ca · 21/09/2026
It's my birthday. Great things to do today: - buy my books - donate to an animal charity - contract Etsy witches to cease the nonstop crises in my life from the past 11 months - prayer circle Shawn's vet today doesn't tell me he needs another big expensive dental surgery this year
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 21/09/2026
Ultima IV. No big bad to fight, but a journey to improve yourself and inspire others. In 1985 we were still figuring out what video games could be, and Ultima IV said "think bigger."
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 21/09/2026
I need the rat bag
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Skyla Dawn Cameron @skyladawn.ca · 20/09/2026
Today's the 10-year publication anniversary of the first Livi Talbot novel. To celebrate, books 1-3 are on sale. Direct payhip.com/skyladawncam... Kobo www.kobo.com/ca/en/series... Smash www.smashwords.com/books/byseri... GP play.google.com/store/books/... Apple books.apple.com/us/book/solo...
A promo graphic with a silhouette of a woman rock climbing against an orange sky. The main text in big letters says "Happy Ten-Year Anniversary Livi Talbot". There are three book covers for the Livi Talbot series, each with a silhouetted woman in a different backdrop. The first two are $2.99, the third is $3.99. It also says "Ex-debutant. Single mother. Treasure hunter." and "Discounts everywhere on books 1-3. Unlock more savings when buying direct."
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 20/09/2026
I have been trained not to care about any show Netflix creates, BY NETFLIX. I know instantly that anything they do will be canceled no matter how successful it is, so why would I get invested? They did this to themselves, on purpose, and don't seem to grasp that incredibly obvious point.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 20/09/2026
My model broke out and hacked the Gibson. Then it flew the Gullfire over Leningrad. ...can I get some venture capital money over here or what?
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 19/09/2026
Y'ever wonder what the deal was with Cicada 3301, and if we'll ever find out?
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 19/09/2026
Well, now I have to reinstall Deus Ex. I don't make the rules.
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t be “It’s simple math, vote blue no matter who, grow up” and ALSO believe you are fighting fascism by making calculations as to who’s expendable. The world we’re in now demands more from us. More from everyone.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 18/09/2026
I am working on a side thing that nobody but my agent knows about, so take that as you will.
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Craig Schaefer @craigschaeferbooks.com · 18/09/2026
Pope Leo XIV has been gifted with a large green boulder the size of a small green boulder
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Vivian Moira Valentine @itsviviactually.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
You have to be terminally consultantbrained to think "I voted with Republicans" is a winning campaign strategy in 2026
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