iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Remember, embodying the spirit of straight animals is actually more gay.

A soft-focus image of a bunny with green text overlay. The text reads: "WARRIOR AFFIRMATIONS. I AM A BUNNY. I can hop as high as a bunny and be as cute as a bunny, but that does NOT mean I am as GAY as a BUNNY."

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Honestly man I'm just gonna reiterate it. We need werewolves in government.

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The Onion @theonion.com · 07/10/2026

Breaking: The Darkness Returns theonion.com/breaking-the-darkness-…

Breaking: The Darkness Returns
Thick Black Haze Extends Tendrils Across Nation, Draws All Into Tightening Grasp

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

JD Vance quoted as saying " Iran is going to need to give me at least ten bucks for us to stop the whole war thing or whatever it is. Also I need the Iran guy to say that I'm tough and cool and he needs to do it on live television. Yeah. And he needs to say I smell good and my beard looks cool "

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The Onion @theonion.com · 07/10/2026

“Upon careful analysis, it’s clear our organization is going to bungle messaging in late October, costing us many key races across the nation.” — Ken Martin, DNC chair

theonion.com

DNC Releases Preemptive Autopsy Into Why They Lost Midterms

WASHINGTON—In an effort to get ahead of the forthcoming criticisms of how they squandered such a commanding lead in the polls, the Democratic National Committee released a preemptive autopsy Tuesday i...

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Oil prices holding steady at 8 dollars a pint as the president is seen cruising the streets for prostitutes. On scene witnesses report the commander in chief was noted to be screaming " I NEED A SEXY GIRL TO TELL ME IM COOL. PLEASE DONT FREAK OUT WHEN I HAVE A STROKE, ITS A POWER MOVE. "

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Markets contemplative as Trump reveals his AI generated first lady "Madam sexyfuck von boobenstein" during a morning press conference. Reporters noted the president appeared to be sweating uncontrollably and mumbling as he described the 2D bikini clad anime girl as " very smart " and " capable ".

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The Onion @theonion.com · 01/10/2026

WELCOME TO THE VOTING REVOLUTION. The Onion Voting Simulator 3D is now available early for members only. To begin this thrillride through the democratic process, subscribe at membership.theonion.com. This soon-to-be-award-winning game won’t be available to non-members until a later date.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Markets end on a mixed note as Pete hegseth debuts his new live testicular shrinkage stream. Each morning he provides viewers with his steroid stack for the day, and viewers can physically observe as his nuts gradually erase themselves from reality. Riveting stuff.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Markets mixed as Trump debuts his twitch streaming vtuber persona " best videogame guy " and proceeds to stream 36 hours of his failed attempt at beating the tutorial boss in elden ring. Highlights of stream feature Trump shouting at Scott bessent to beat the game for him.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Breaking: Donald Trump sells the United States to China. He will receive a luxury EV named the " microcoque xls " in addition to a picture book filled with AI illustrations of Donald Trump with abdominal muscles.

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InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

There's no shortcut to making your beta son an alpha—but there is a system. Learn more from host Jay Weingarten on InfoWars.

A promotional image featuring three people, with one in the center holding sunglasses and smiling. The backdrop includes the words "Alpha Begins in the Home" and a website link to YouTube.com/@realinfowars. The two other boys appear to be standing on either side.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Markets curious as Trump introduces his masterful " annihilate the economy economic plan " featuring redirection of taxes to pay for kid rock to receive his first colonoscopy.

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brad will NOT take off the cursed amulet @bradicality.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I can't let you beat the shit out of me without getting closer

a digital meme drawing parodying the famous "Oh, You're Approaching Me?" scene from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, featuring a large-proportioned MAGA figure in a red shirt and jeans approaching a blue and yellow character labeled "Fell For It Again Award"

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Oil prices uncertain as Trump assembles an entire LEGO hogwarts set and shoves it up his ass.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Nosferatu but it's just Danny devito hanging out in a big castle. He's a very nice guy and everyone invites him to move to Germany. Willem dafoe and Danny become best buddies and hang out.

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InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Take up smoking like a real man.

A person wearing glasses holds an oversized cigarette in front of their face. Above them, text reads "Cigarettes for Men™." At the bottom, additional text states 20 inches, 8 ounces.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

New Batman movie: all the criminals have the explosive diarrhea virus so crime has halted in Gotham. Follow Bruce wayne as he catches up on his paperwork, sits in traffic, attends meetings, and tries to decide which coffee is the best deal at Costco.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Markets ecstatic as kash patel runs through the Whitehouse pressroom screaming " I CAN FUCK ANYTHING!!!! " before drop kicking a hole in the dry wall and jumping through it into unknown branches of the Whitehouse.

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The Onion @theonion.com · 16/09/2026

Commentary: It Is Unlawful For You To Refuse This Legal Tender, No Matter How Wet It Is. By Garrett Winslow. theonion.com/it-is-unlawful-for-you…

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The Onion @theonion.com · 16/09/2026

Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression theonion.com/trump-says-recession-u…

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Dow plummets 460,000 points as RFK screams " check this shit out! " While injecting himself with a massive dose of the G virus and mutating on live television.

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The Onion @theonion.com · 16/09/2026

Congress Passes $430,000/Hour Minimum Wage For Billionaires To learn more about America's gaping wealth gap, head to youtube.com/politizane.

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Wolf Conservation Center 🐺 @nywolforg.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

🚨 A new rule weakening the ESA is now in effect. It removes habitat modification from the definition of “harm,” putting protections for species that depend on habitat to recover, at risk. Bipartisan H.R. 9901 would restore these protections. 📣Urge your Rep. to support this bill: bit.ly/4y1de3q

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Really great movie. It's a shame that the modern comic books just turn the character into a boring, cringe, Mary Sue. They could've explored cranston's life and given him more depth, which Baldwin did a fabulous job of.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Markets enthusiastic as Trump, when asked about his 5k bribe to citizens, began what could only be described as " an undulating cacophonous blast of the wettest, most oppressive farts mankind has ever witnessed."

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Oil prices surge to 3 trillion dollars a barrel as Trump claims he is Voltron and proceeds to break into five identical, brightly colored, AMC gremlins that drive in opposite directions. When asked for a comment, Pete hegseth screamed the word " tactical " before physically imploding.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Look man I'm not saying four trillion raccoons could run this country better. But I am actually saying that. Just give them some pb crackers and they will sort all this shit out tonight.

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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/09/2026

Health Speculations Swirl After Trump Slumps Over In Saddle Of Runaway Horse theonion.com/health-speculations-sw…

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

The year is 2077- all devices in your home are spliced directly into the ad centers for the monopolies that control products and services. You are federally required to have an android that looks exactly like Elon musk in your living room. Each day he greets you by belching aerosolized ketamine.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Markets inquisitive as Trump owned media states " we now have all the oil, it's just in our friends basement. He's got all of it and he also has the new GTA 6 where you can see real boobies. Everyone is rich and can own five helicopters if they want to. "

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The Onion @theonion.com · 04/09/2026

Historians Politely Remind Nation To Check What's Happened In Past Before Making Any Big Decisions theonion.com/historians-politely-re…

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Markets contemplative as scott bessent pleads with mankind to consider the idea of the male nipple.

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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/09/2026

Rolo Ad Greatly Overestimates The Social Element Of Eating Rolos theonion.com/rolo-ad-greatly-overes…

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Markets cautious as RFK makes the bold claim that immortality is attained by rectally chugging one litre of mountain dew Baja blast.

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The Onion @theonion.com · 02/09/2026

Javier Bardem Declared UNESCO World-Class Hunk theonion.com/javier-bardem-declared…

Javier Bardem Declared UNESCO World-Class Hunk
Conservation Effort Aims To Protect Actor’s Historic Sex Appeal

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The Onion @theonion.com · 02/09/2026

Laptop Gets To Age When It Can Be Lightly Tossed Sometimes theonion.com/laptop-gets-to-age-whe…

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The Onion @theonion.com · 02/09/2026

Dark Horse Emerges In Competition For Most Insane Coworker theonion.com/dark-horse-emerges-in-…

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MFCarter @mfcarter.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Here’s a truth that lands harder every year.

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Michael Lobel @mlobelart.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Edward Hopper, Don Quixote, 1906-07 whitney.org/collection/w...

Illustration of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, both on horseback

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Markets rejoice as RFK announces the newest beverage to hit the markets: Freedom liquid- 16oz cans of his piss. Each nine can serving contains over 600 grams of bovine growth hormone guaranteed to grow your liver to the size of a small motorcycle.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Markets thrilled as RFK hosts an impromptu episode of "cribs" featuring his home, filled to the brim with animal penis themed furniture, animal penis props, animal penis wallpaper, rugs, appliances, fixtures, and actual animal penises in every cabinet and drawer

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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/08/2026

“Mistress Jessica, I’ve been a bad little health and human services secretary, and I…I deserve to have my pathetic nuts punished with Velveeta cheese.” — Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

theonion.com

Trembling RFK Jr. Tells Dominatrix To Use Processed Foods On His Balls

WASHINGTON—His voice shaking even more than usual as he grew excited over his impending torment, a trembling Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was overheard Thursday telling a dominatrix to use processed foods on...

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Trump renames himself " Scrototitinius the invincible " on live television before kick flipping a tech deck mini up his ass and yowling like a wildcat.

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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/08/2026

Trump Pushes To Rename Sexual Attraction To Children ‘Americaphilia’

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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/08/2026

Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings

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