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Wayne Myers

@conniptions.org
566 followers 277 following 366 posts

Dreamer, muesli enthusiast, he/him etc. Placeholder account. Not here. Ok, maybe a tiny bit here. Find me mostly over on Mastodon at @conniptions@mastodon.social or wayne.conniptions.org

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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 28/09/2026
My beloved does make awesome candles. #ProofOfCat #ProofOfCandle
A candle in the shape of a black cat, sitting on a teatowel.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 28/06/2026
Proof of radish
A bunch of extremely freshly harvested radishes with leaves attached and full root stems at bottom, still covered in bits of earth, lying on a wooden chopping board, with a fake marble kitchen counter visible at top left.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 05/04/2026
Try to avoid it as much as you like, at some point, the universe will say "You are an old man now, here is your flat cap."
A white man with a salt-and-pepper beard wearing a dark blue tweed baker-boy style cap, looking directly at the camera over the top of his glasses.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 16/11/2025
Been too long since I did one of these. Obvious comic is obvious.
Three panel comic strip featuring Cartoon Wayne and the chicken who lives on his head in the form of a sarcastic sideburn.

Wayne: Being unable to gig due to caution about COVID has been driving me mad!

Wayne: So I've started live streaming music twice a week on Twitch.
Chicken: How's it going?

Wayne: Fun! But very few people show up...
Chicken: Perfect. Just like your gigs.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 22/07/2025
I'll be playing a solo set tomorrow evening at 8pm UK time as part of #RFFF25 over at party.radiofreefedi.net If you can't make tomorrow, there's a series of streams happening there till the end of the month, all highly recommended. Hope to see you there? #RFFF25 #Music #LiveStream
Background is a blue-tinted seaside scene on a cloudy day at low tide with sand and rocks in the foreground, with a shallow expanse of seawater beyond and higher land beyond that across the horizon, with an ironwork footbridge visible towards the right hand side. Text overlay reads 'wayne birthday stream' at top, and '2025-07-23, 8pm UK time party.radiofreefedi.net' below.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 24/03/2025
Starmer actually said this. The first part, anyway. www.theguardian.com/politics/202... comic.conniptions.org/comics/798.h... #comic #politics #starmer #trump
Keir Starmer, caricatured as tube of Anusol haemorrhoid cream, with his head as the cap: I like and respect Donald Trump.

KS: The Western Alliance couldn't be being dismantled by a nicer felon.

KS: Uh... fellow! I meant fellow.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 16/03/2025
Mittens Of Chaos! I made the mittens again. They somehow came out a bit more Brighton hipster than I'd hoped for but meanwhile yay mittens. God help me I am now trying to make a matching hat. #knitting #mittens
A pair of colourful mittens on a wooden table. The striping of the colours from mitten to mitten does not match. It's a bit chaotic.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 25/02/2025
If a joke is worth making, it's worth making twice in a row, the second time slightly less effectively. As such, I present: Elon Musk Teaches Chess - Part Two: comic.conniptions.org/comics/796.h... #chess #uspol #musk
Six panel cartoon.

Panel one: Elon Musk's head on the body of a chess pawn surrounded by heading text reading 'Elon Musk Teaches Chess', with sub-title "The American Gambit Part Two".

Panel two: Above, a chessboard after the following moves: 1. e4 e5 2. d4 exd4 3. c3 dxc3 4. Bc4 cxb2 5. Bh6 bxa1=Q 6. Qxd7. The last move is given on the right with double exclamation marks. Below, Musk says: It's time we got rid of the worthless DEI hire in our own camp!

Panel three: Chessboard: 6... Qxd7 7. Bxf7+!! Musk: Another brilliant innovation, attacking the Black king and giving check, which as expert like me know, is very nearly checkmate.

Panel four: Chessboard: 7... Kxf7 8. Bxg7!! Musk: This move reprograms the matrix to make success one of the possible outcome. Black will not be expecting this.

Panel five: Chessboard: 8... Qxb1+ 9. Ke2!! Musk: A spite check, but don't worry, America! I am policing myself.

Panel six: Chessboard: 9... Qhd3# Musk (now wearing sunglasses): It's checkmate, which means we win.

Footnote: In next week's masterclass, Donald Trump shares his insights on the Najdorf Sicilian Poisoned Pawn Variation.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 18/02/2025
Alienating my already tiny comics audience still further with a cartoon poking fun at one of the most unpleasant people on the planet via the medium of an extremely niche hobby, I present Elon Musk Teaches Chess: comic.conniptions.org/comics/795.h... #chess #uspol #musk
Six panel cartoon.

Panel one: Elon Musk's head on the body of a chess pawn surrounded by heading text reading 'Elon Musk Teaches Chess', with sub-title "The American Gambit".

Panel two: Elon Musk: Super Genius Elon Musk here, showing you how to play the simple game of chess. Deep study will pay dividends to those hoping to learn from my mastery of strategy and tactics. Remember, you owe those dividends to me. Visit x.com for payment details.

Panel three: Above, a chessboard on which the following moves have been played: 1. e4 e5 2. d4 exd4 3. c3.  Below, Musk says: Sacking a second pawn makes this the American Gambit, not the Danish. Please update your databases with the new name or you will be banned from chess.

Panel four: Above, chessboard with further moves: 3... dxc3 4. Bc4 cxb2. Below, Musk: My basic opening principles should be clear: sack everything quickly, figure it out later. The standard book mind virus move here is 5. Bxb2, but this wastes an opportunity to sack our first major piece and remove a large burden on the White taxpayer.

Panel five: Chessboard: 5. Bh6!! Musk: With this brilliant innovation, we rid ourselves of both a useless rook and a useless bishop in one move!

Panel six: Chessboard: 5... bxa1=Q  Musk: Don't worry about the new black queen. She's clearly nothing more than a woke DEI hire.

Footnote: Don't forget to check back next week for part two of Elon Musk Teaches Chess: The American Gambit. If there is a next week.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 12/02/2025
Should have posted this one months ago but was very busy being too depressed to do anything about drawing it. Better late than never I guess: comic.conniptions.org/comics/794.h... #ukpolitics #TransRights #transrightsarehumanrights #comic
Three panel comic with cartoon Wayne, who has glasses, spiky hair, pointy sideburns, glasses, a soulpatch beard and a grubby shirt.

Panel 1: To understand the Cass review...

Panel 2: imagine that Enoch Powell...

Panel 3 : had been commissioned to report on racism.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 05/02/2025
New comic, this one about the UK Online Safety Act and the "guidance" offered by Ofcom: comic.conniptions.org/comics/793.h... #OnlineSafetyAct #Ofcom #UKPolitics #comics
Three panel comic with a moustachioed, suited Man From Ofcom wearing glasses and a bowler hat inscribed 'OFCOM'.

Panel one: We at Ofcom have provided simple guidance for small websites to comply with the new UK Online Safety Act.

Panel two: We've released twenty-three simple PDF documents outlining your new legal oblications to ensure compliance and avoid risk of a heavy fine.

Panel three: If unsure, simply geoblock the UK or shut down, preferably both. It's that simple!
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 28/01/2025
New comic, this one on the unmitigated gall of AI experts urging caution to users of DeepSeek: comic.conniptions.org/comics/792.h... #comic #AI #DeepSeek
Three panel comic with a guy in a sober blue suit and sunglasses wearing a blue clown wig, a red clown nose and a tall pointy yellow clown hat with two large red buttons on it. Text of script as follows:

Clown: As an AI expert, I urge caution to users of the new Chinese AI platform DeepSeek.

Clown: You just don't know where your data goes! It could even be used to spread misinformation on behalf of an authoritarian regime!

Clown: Unlike US-based platforms that er... um... ah...
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 24/01/2025
Mittens complete! Not brilliant but they are definitely #mittens. I'm not saying that's a Mitten Portal in one of the pics, but I'm not saying it isn't either. Now to make another pair of mittens, once I find a sensible yarn to use. Also, I need to stop staying up late #knitting. Or do I?
A pair of navy blue mittens lying side by side on a wooden table, with a mysterious bright reflection on the table between the two, as if they were acting as a portal to something. Which they are. More mittens.A pair of navy blue mittens lying on a wooden table, viewed from above.
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Wayne Myers @conniptions.org · 13/01/2025
New comic: comic.conniptions.org/comics/790.h...
Three panel comic depicting a character with glasses, spiky hair, sideburns and a soulpatch. Script as follows: First panel: Keir Starmer wants to "mainline AI into the UK's veins.". Second panel: "Very apt, for a thing only available from shady characters..." Third panel: "... which people falsely believe will solve all their problems."
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