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The Gooner's Doula

@colin.mahns.net
495 followers 493 following 1.2K posts

yeah whatever mastodon.social/@colinmahns colin.mahns.net tech.dsausa.org

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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 09/10/2026
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 05/10/2026
luke get another pair of boxers dude
massive hole in the back of Luke's underwear
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 03/10/2026
the piano lesson was incredible. slowly but surely checking off each play in the pittsburgh cycle
photo of a stage for august wilson's the piano lesson. living room with staircase, furniture, and a piano centerpiece
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 16/09/2026
new jersey #1 in sending more in taxes than we get in return bay bee would love if my damn taxes didn't go to shit that sucks like war, israel, and data centers!
Trenton makes the world takes bridge on the Delaware river
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 14/09/2026
Two of our many demands in DSA's program are to address the rot in our current government. The US government is entirely captured by and for the rich, it's time we had a real democracy. program.dsausa.org
A REAL DEMOCRACY

For the working class to govern, we need a new political system. End political corruption and legalized bribery: get rid of lobbyists, dark money, and Citizens United, and publicly finance all elections. Abolish the Electoral College. Replace the President and Supreme Court with an executive and judiciary chosen by and subordinate to Congress.A DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS

Replace the two-party system with a multi-party democracy. Expand the House of Representatives, implement proportional representation and ranked choice voting in all elections, and abolish the Senate.
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 05/09/2026
wow
brown tabby cat with light and dark brown stripes. white mouth and paws. He is looking at the camera with green eyesgrey tabby cat with small white and peach spots. she is lying on a kitchen mat looking like a worm
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 01/09/2026
you're already on the bad person list
@voidthoughtsmag labeled as making over 30 replies yesterday
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 24/08/2026
communist eyes
grey cat with massive eyes, there is a cat framed mask behind her
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 20/08/2026
lmao
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 17/08/2026
Finally have spoken at a hacker conference, about DSA nonetheless! Photo credit to a friend of mine
hotel conference room, I am standing at the podium in front of a screen that has the DSA rose, screen says Organizing in Layer 8: Building Tech in Democratic Socialists of America
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 08/08/2026
image of baby thinking with mom playing peekaboo, on fire background "where do theh go? still here? Or something more sinister..."
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 01/08/2026
Sign: oldest known urinals in Chicago, Trenton fire clay & porcelain co 1910. Piss on history!Tim Heidecker sitting on the toilet with yellow text: I sit down when I pee!
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 22/07/2026
Yes, among many other expansions of labor rights. From our program: "Empower workers to come together and fight the boss. Protect, expand, and enforce the rights of all workers to form, join, and strike with their unions, regardless of industry."
Image of three hands, one holding a hammer, another a pencil, and another radishes. 
Title: Democracy At Work. Description: Empower workers to come together and fight the boss. Protect, expand, and enforce the rights of all workers to form, join, and strike with their unions, regardless of industry. Support union members who organize reform caucuses, democratize their unions, and take political action.
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 22/07/2026
dsa's program workers deserve more calls for a real democracy: we think everyone deserves a voice not just in how we're governed but in our workplaces too. fox news instead finds this demand is "a risk" and "a threat". want to read what this dork finds so threatening? check out program.dsausa.org
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 18/07/2026
house gop cooked with this video
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 16/07/2026
stu smith is throwing stones in glass houses. guy looks like a cross between the chronic masturbator that look at hentai every day in his computer science class mixed with a canned ham that had pubic hair glued onto it, topped with a tasteful ll bean polo shirt
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 15/07/2026
i think this is why the class analysis in the doc is important, it's easy hearing it to think it only applies to those that are working, but it's not about those that can do the act but about us as a class who need to or are forced to work to survive. this is my favorite part of the vision statement
To achieve this future, our class must organize. The Democratic Socialists of America is building a party whose goal is a democratic society of the working class. Our enemies are not just individual bosses, but the entire global system of capital; not just this or that cop, judge, or president, but the entire anti-democratic structure of our society. We are workers fighting to transform society: to win the battle for democracy, draft a new constitution, and create a democratic socialist republic.
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 13/07/2026
wrote this elsewhere. it's such a goofy conversation that leans far too much on organizing the people in the room rather than organizing people into the room, over AOC of all things who i go out of my way to not think about
My response: I personally think most chapters, unless there's attempts to suppress turnout which is antidemocratic and should be condemned, will go for AOC in the member questions. She's the second or third most known and popular socialist in the country, despite her flaws, and it's likely promotion of this very important meeting in that 45 day window will lead to more people showing up and getting involved in the long run in DSA than any other event. 

Allowing the question to be debated and give political minorities space to organize, lose, and come around to being comrades who will help support the majority decision after political struggle is more important than a non-binding poll for the health of DSA.
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 09/07/2026
tony soprano in a pool with "what can I say that's life in the DSA baby" captioned
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 08/07/2026
stop being disingenuous, page 2 says a recommendation isn't an endorsement from maine dsa.
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 02/07/2026
fuck off dude you're not my dad
King of all cosmos from katamari damacy saying "dipshit, aren't you hot? You can roll a katamari in this heat?"
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 01/07/2026
bc-250 (by cat, 250)
grey cat licking her lips in front of an asrock bc-250 board
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 29/06/2026
"proud supporters and advocates", don't third party DSA! you're either a member of it or not
DSA HQ.bsky.social bio: "not yet officially affiliated with dsausa.org but proud supporters and advocates of [DSA]"
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 24/06/2026
love too post instead of knock door, make phone call, or text bank. love me, i'm a liberal
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 24/06/2026
maybe knock some doors instead of posting all day dude
Quoted poster made over 30 posts yesterday label
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 22/06/2026
on that point, this post directly before it also is funny in context
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 17/06/2026
6 in the morning police at my door
grey cat perching right in the camera lens on a red blanket
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 13/06/2026
nipple tassle fans from there are so funny
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 27/05/2026
everyone that buys one of these is provided unparalleled access to shooting one or both of their balls off
a gun magnet ad for hiding a firearm under a table. for people that want to shoot themselves in the balls
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 16/05/2026
tried twice to get into tenth house before we left the island, was closed today for a private event and was a pop-up yesterday. next time we're back i will have your son's cooking saw this fuckin guy though
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 13/05/2026
the evidence is damning here that this is all a manufactured outrage campaign from someone trying to create streamer beef. complete silence from lilsimsie on the four big issues of the day or whatever
No posts from lilsimsie about Palestine No posts from lilsimsie about gaza No posts from lilsimsie about sti testingNo posts from lilsimsie about Jesse Farrar sucks
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 13/05/2026
grabbing these for my profile like steam achievements
Bluesky profile labels: posts over 100 replies yesterday, 30 posts yesterday, posting and replying 20 times per day on average
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 13/05/2026
Bluesky label: replies over 20 times per day on average
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 13/05/2026
I...worked on this story for a year...and... @gooffkings.bsky.social just... they tweeted it out.
GoOffKings on twitch with the description "we're getting into fights on bluesky to become more relevant on here
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 06/05/2026
Join DSA: dsausa.org/join
Burger King logo that says "Democratic Socialists of America"
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 02/05/2026
People like this is why I didint want to wear a kilt until felt like it was earned and given to me specifically by someone living in Scotland Shame on "peoples" forum for being this way
Scottish man looking down at his erect penis poking up through his kilt. he is wearing a condom. 

Text reads "what should a real Scotsman wear under his kilt?
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 16/04/2026
Kid: Hey, Mister. Ain't you got a car? Eddie Valiant: Who needs a car in NJ? We've got the best public transportation system in the world.
jitney going down bergenline ave with another jitney in the background
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 15/04/2026
it makes total sense clavicular is from hoboken. if i grew up there i'd smash myself in the face with a hammer too
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 09/04/2026
nespresso machine knock off. my source is i've broken many an office nespresso machine before
nespresso machine pouring coffee
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 04/04/2026
classic "i remember having a 12 year old's ideology" post
@n7u.bsky.social post about bed time
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 27/03/2026
boomers did it first
henry Rollins pouting on stage. Black Flag at Maxwells in Hoboken in 1984
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 26/03/2026
"one simple trick to make note taking faster and more memorable? seems far fetched. how can a kid expect to learn without their annual chromebook refresh, all of google's services, and chatgpt for kids? but... i guess that's more a shelbyville idea" - lyle lanley, vp of education sales at google
lyle lanley from monorail episode of the Simpsons
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 17/03/2026
bluesky needs to add a feature to lock your account for a week if you get these tags
two bluesky tags: "made over 100 replies yesterday" and "made over 25 posts yesterday"
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 28/02/2026
This claim is already in dispute
Screenshot of The Guardian. Headline: "US Man issues challenge to disprove his claim of having world's smallest penis to raise micropenis awareness." Description/Subheadline: "Delaware's Joe Biden revealed that he had an 0.38 inch member in bid to reduce stigma of the condition"

Photo of Joe Biden measuring with his fingers in front of a Biden 2024 Banner

Description under photo: "Former President Joe Biden says he has the world's smallest penis - about the size of the pinky fingernail when fully erect."
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 28/02/2026
hey @mayor.nyc.gov someone left a bad review on subway yelp
new york subway post that says poo poo
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 28/02/2026
hey @mayor.nyc.gov someone left a bad review on subway yelp
new york subway post that says poo poo
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 24/02/2026
ready for future war
cherubic Robert z'dar from future war
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 23/02/2026
bright red male cardinal hanging out at birdfeeders, his head is puffed all the way up. he's surrounded by piles of snow on lids of feeders
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 19/02/2026
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The Gooner's Doula @colin.mahns.net · 18/02/2026
oh "the left" is missing out on AI? yeah, i'm a socialist, i'm for humanity. good. no reason to act like this lifeless and error prone tool is going to do much of anything for me or society. from one of my favorite AI critical essays in the last six months: anthonymoser.github.io/writing/ai/h...
I am here to be rude, because this is a rude technology, and it deserves a rude response. Miyazaki said, “I strongly feel that this is an insult to life itself.” Scam Altman said we can surround the solar system with a Dyson Sphere to hold data centers. Miyazaki is right, and Altman is wrong. Miyazaki tells stories that blend the ordinary and the fantastic in ways people find deeply meaningful. Altman tells lies for money.

And I’m glad they’re lies. Because the makers of AI aren’t damned by their failures, they’re damned by their goals. They want to build a genie to grant them wishes, and their wish is that nobody ever has to make art again. They want to create a new kind of mind, so they can force it into mindless servitude. Their dream is to invent new forms of life to enslave.
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