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Niles

@clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social
181 followers 420 following 602 posts

Westchester native who admits he lives upstate. I only support teams I have a moral objection to. #RBNY, #ArmyFootball, the Democratic Party...

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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
This happens a dozen times a year. I am deeply opposed to video review for all subjective calls (lawyerball) but there is an obvious technology here used in other sports to determine if something is on one side of a line or the other. Why not use it?
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The American Prospect @prospect.org · 01/10/2026
Rebecca Bennett, the Democratic candidate running against Rep. Thomas Kean Jr. in New Jersey’s Seventh District, and Cait Conley, who is challenging Rep. Mike Lawler in New York’s 17th District, are cut from the same cloth. prospect.org?p=145673
Rebecca Bennett shakes hands with Tom Kean Jr.
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Certified John Mateer Moment ™
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Certified John Mateer Moment ™
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I love that, due to the national standalone TV focus on Rutgers so far this season, everyone understands: a) Rutgers is uniquely terrible among P4 teams b) Notwithstanding that, KJ Duff is an absolute beast
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I've always called Kentucky the Houthis of college football
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Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
literal jump scare
Cuomo says Instagram, socialism making young Jews lose touch with their history, and other stories from the column https://trib.al/HtphhpN
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
One day of football and I'm already on my anti-lawyerball tirades. Why are we legislating what's a catch! We know it when we see it and that was a catch!
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Respect to Harasymiak for doing the "don't you fucking dare pour Gatorade on my head, I swear to God" routine after the final play
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Should have known UMass would roll
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Quorators @quorators.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
i tried to make a clip but i don't know if i did it justice. watch the full episode at youtu.be/zMULNhoHYos
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
One down, several to go. But for the first time in my life I believe we can end the scourge of all-star games
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
I don't understand what makes him so special. Anyone could miss two chip shot field goals against their arch-rival to keep their team from going to the national championship game.
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Indulge me in some hyper local beef for a minute: You can take the man out of Mahopac, but you can't take the Mahopac out of the man
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Proper Route One Football Innit
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
If I could go back in time to kill any one person it would be that butterfly loving freak that came up with Daylight Savings Time
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Steiner is the PMG everyone said Dejoy would be
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
A huge blow to the good people of the Ecuadorian capital city: Peekskill, New York
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Eloy Room channeling his 2019 Gold Cup self
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Who let Bruce Blakeman referee a World Cup match?
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
Nobody get any ideas about launching fireworks, my baby is sleeping
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
Imagine having an 8 foot wingspan and then forgetting to put your arms up
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
By the way, the national anthem in a 4/4 time signature is utter woke nonsense. That shit turns me into a reactionary
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
By the way, the national anthem in a 4/4 time signature is utter woke nonsense. That shit turns me into a reactionary
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
It's not even that the district judge is a TT fan or alum, but that they might actually fear being the victim of pro-Tech stochastic terrorism, egged on by the guy who bought more TV ads than The Dr Pepper Corporation last year.
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
Being a soccer fan in the 2000s felt like being a guerilla warrior in the culture war, fighting against the Bush-era establishment to create a more inclusive, worldly America. Thats why soccer fans were so obsessed with Growing The Game.
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
Stop making me defend 60 Minutes, the program that somehow has a new report on how Havana Syndrome is very real and very scary every week
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victoria zeller🫛 (RISEBALL, summer ‘27) @dirtbagqueer.rocks · 29/05/2026
i was so beyond invested in the 2010 and 2014 USMNT world cup runs and i just. i couldn’t give a fuck about these guys in 2026
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Joel @snufkinlib.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
trying to play peekaboo with my child but he's a European diplomat: me: where'd daddy go? baby: we must articulate a post-daddy vision of strategic autonomy me: peekaboo! baby: my historic relationship with my father is stable despite recent troubles
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
Rutgers has always stuck out like a sore thumb in its conferences, like this one that was just them glomming onto the Lafayette-Lehigh rivalry
en.wikipedia.org
Middle Three Conference - Wikipedia
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
Abolish the draft. At this point it does more harm than good to almost every sport
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
They'll be partying at the replica Sebilj in Utica tonight
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
Colombia instantly becomes the best team in Greater Concacaf
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
It is wrong, like morally so, to name something after (or have a statue of) a living person
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
The Great Awakened Ginger
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
Get in bitch we're doing premature celebrations of a 17 year old Red Bull academy kid's inevitable greatness again #rbny
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
The NCAA has nothing on this. They vacate wins, sure. But they don't decide to hand the trophy to someone else! Also, no one is going to respect this. Moroccan fans aren't going to celebrate in the streets. Senegalese fans already did all their celebrating. The horse left the barn! It's over!
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
The View From 202 boys had DeRosa clocked (in a tongue in cheek way) for years, shout out to them
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
Any international sporting event held in the US from this point forward is inherently less legitimate
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
Flipping on the FA Cup and getting jumpscared by Gerhard Struber
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
It's not the worst part of this World Cup, but I have to reiterate that the distinct lack of imagination when giving non-rights stadium names. Boston Stadium instead of Foxboro? NY/NJ Stadium instead of Meadowlands? KC Stadium instead of Arrowhead? Mexico City Stadium instead of Azteca??????
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
I am calling for a complete and total shutdown of Trump quote engagement bait until we can figure out what the hell is going on
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
Im sorry I refuse to believe an American Olympic skier is named Winterburger
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 18/02/2026
The fact that NBC has chosen to place ads on the boards, even if they're ads for other NBC Olympic programming, is demonic
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
The thing I remember the most from the 9/12 Tea Party rally in DC was when some coal miners got on stage to show how Obama was harming these poor folks by endangering their jobs. More people in the coal industry work as traveling props for right wing events than as miners.
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
Why are people constantly fooled by gag Craigslist listings? No one trying to do a political influence op is going to be looking for volunteers on fucking Craigslist.
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
I will vote for any Presidential candidate that forcibly seizes the New York Times and [heavily redacted] its top editors and publishers
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
The deputy prime minister of Jordon? Do you mean Bill Belichick?
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Can't express how good the Feyenoord-Sparta match was, what an entertaining match
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Niles @clumsyfunsucker.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
I am calling for a complete and total shutdown of microeconomics until we can figure out what the hell is going on
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