Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Nothing like the oven blowing up literally as you’re putting dinner in it. 211
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 28/09/202626 year old Marchenko, on essentially Max Domi’s deal, appears to be a good enough value compared to 23 year old Knies to make the swap this year worth it. I guess the question is, is 27 year old Marchenko $5ish million better than 25 year old Knies over the five years after this one? 120
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Non-zero chance Doug Ford responds to Trump that we’re actually renaming it to Lake BOFA, so that he can tell Trump to “Lake BOFA Deez Nuts” 0208
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Getting slightly day drunk on a holiday Monday when the weather is gorgeous out and you don’t have to work the coming week is among the greatest vibes possible. 030
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 20/07/2026You’re walking around with the name Bryson threatening to call Daddy on the boys being mean to you, buddy it’s so over. 110
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 15/07/2026Nothing’s ever going to top the Blues offer sheeting Scott Stevens and having to give up 5 1st round picks, then the next season offer sheeting Brendan Shanahan and having to give up Stevens as compensation, then trying to offer sheet Stevens again and being fined for tampering. 030
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Part of politics should be assessing your ability to take a punch. Consulting brain pablum, socialist utopian dream casting or saying the most vile, hateful shit you can think of, public officials should have to let someone take a swing at you after you say it, to show you stand behind it. 120
Reposted by Clark RocketMermaid @rocketmermaid.bsky.social · 02/07/2026INTERSCHISMATIC SEMINARY SEMINARY INTERSCHISMATIC 111769238
Reposted by Clark Liam Hogan @liamhogan.id.au · 02/07/2026Ad Rock: you can disagree with the current All: POPE MCA: but if you push his buttons then you’re a All: DOPE Mike D: ordain yourself a bishop and you’re All: SCHISMATIC Ad Rock: excommunication is All: AUTOMATIC 80114043392
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 27/06/2026The Brad Treliving era was such a waste of everyone’s time. 2152
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 27/06/2026Brad Treliving for GM of the Year and Craig Berube for Jack Adams just by virtue of not being here anymore 1130
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 24/06/2026Hockey GMs have exactly two speeds when it comes to making trades and they are “it’s just SO HARD to make a trade” and “LEEEEROYYY JENKKKINS!!” 070
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Sure would be a shame if a team heavily built around players over 30, currently with no goaltenders, and no first round picks for the next four seasons suddenly fell off the cliff 1111
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 21/06/2026Guarantee some Toronto gasbag had a “loser captain quits on his team” article locked and loaded for a Matthews trade, and it’s hilarious it could probably be copy/pasted for two Atlantic Division sad sacks now. 040
Reposted by Clark CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Rebecca: "Chaps, Alexi left us" Zlatan: "Who? Rebecca: "Alexi will be back, Alexi will be back with us very soon" Thierry: "Your plan worked, Rebecca" Rebecca: "Don't you bring me into this, no chance" Zlatan: "America, you're welcome" lmaooooooooooooooooo 22689482266
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Over/under 5:15pm Eastern time that Babcock gets announced as Oilers coach? 230
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 19/06/2026The Maple Leafs immediate needs are a defenceman that isn’t old enough to still remember Mats Sundin as a player 030
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 18/06/2026It would never happen but if the Leafs turned it around this season I hope the conversation is about just how much everybody hated Berube 231
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 15/06/2026If people cared about hockey they’d make a movie about Tulsky’s story 080
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 15/06/2026So I guess Marner won’t talk shit about his time with the Leafs now? 2111
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 06/06/2026Gare Joyce wrote a book about his experiences sitting in on the Blue Jackets preparing for the 2006 Draft. The questions were just as stupid back then. 011
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 05/06/2026I would love to know the sequence of events between the Olympic break and Treliving leaving a month after the deadline, because not firing Berube at the break, not ensuring Cowan was AHL eligible during the Olympic break and this trade deadline fuck-up we’re all IMO fireable offences. 241
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 01/06/2026Far be it from me to speak on behalf of Leafs fan but I’ll gladly take a bunch of Mitch Marner retcon nonsense instead of Carter Hart redemption stories. 290
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 30/05/2026Montreal can enjoy their place amongst the prestigious group of plucky underdogs that got shit kicked in the third round and then got absolutely nowhere near as far again, like the 2017 Senators and the 2021 Islanders. 391
Reposted by Clark manic kirby dream land @loggingintoday.bsky.social · 25/05/2026i agree that hockey will never be a big sport 011
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 25/05/2026Really hope everyone on Robidas Island is ok. We’re behind you. This is why we have to be aware of some of the people we let into our hockey team. 020
Reposted by Clark Phil @alsonamedphil.bsky.social · 25/05/2026Hockey will only be a big sport when people stop needing to use The Leafs to get eyes on their story. 121
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 13/05/2026Whether the Leafs are bad or miraculously good again, just let them play hockey that’s fun to watch. Existential dread about never winning in the first round aside, it’s not up for debate that the late 2010s strategy of “whee!” made for entertaining hockey 3152
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 04/05/2026I guess fuck me for not having a full bibliography to support my dissertation on who a stupid hockey team hires 2180
Reposted by Clark Ryan Wilson @ryanwilson.bsky.social · 04/05/2026You have an AI pilled executive being influenced by the former team face puncher because the analytics quack GM used to be the GM of his son and that son is currently on the face punchers former team. Auston Matthews trade, when? 3144
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 04/05/2026Doubting Steve Simmons isn’t mutually exclusive from doubting John Chayka. You don’t have to buy Simmons’ story to doubt whether Chayka is gonna be any good at this and thinking Simmons is full of shit as usual doesn’t exonerate Chayka from the weirdness of this hire. 2192
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 04/05/2026Every retired Leafs blogger is back in “Dave Nonis just did something inexplicably stupid” form. Don’t tell me Bluesky doesn’t have the juice. 0110
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 04/05/2026Can’t fucking wait for Mats Sundin’s giant “I’ve made a huge mistake” face 050
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 04/05/2026Tie Domi being a Machiavellian combination of Doug Ford and Paul Marner is my official “NOOOPE!” point. 041
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 04/05/2026The best case scenario is that a guy who left the league in disgrace SIX years ago is up to the job and threads the needle of a team in disarray that needs to rebuild without any draft capital, while employing a coach that actively makes them worse. 130
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 02/05/2026One or way another I don’t have a vested interest in Mitch Marner winning a cup with Vegas but if he does I sincerely hope he is a petty bitch about it. Toronto deserves its collection of guys they rode out of town only to see them win at their next stop. 261
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 30/04/2026They’re gonna bury the Leafs announcing Chaykha and Sundin at like 5:15pm tomorrow, aren’t they? 050
Reposted by Clark Chemmy @f29.bsky.social · 30/04/2026Making three thousand X accounts and posting specifically smart Leafs moves to get Grok to give Chayka good advice. 3247
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 30/04/2026Implement promotion and relegation in hockey so that the Maple Leafs can just fade away and become a third-tier nobody and everyone just goes “hey remember the Toronto Maple Leafs?” Hockey’s an intensely stupid sport but kudos to the Leafs to finding that next level of stupid. 071
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 30/04/2026Pictured: Paul Marner, upon learning that Tie Domi gets to waltz in and run the Leafs so his kid gets to stay here like a shitty GTHL program 031
Reposted by Clark ml7hockey.bsky.social @ml7hockey.bsky.social · 21/04/2026This quote is genuinely hilarious and says all you need to know about NHL coverage. 193
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 20/04/2026That was a fun three or so years it was fun to follow the Leafs followed by about six years of existential dread. Sadly it appears normal service has resumed. 020
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 18/04/2026At this point Kash Patel is so recklessly incompetent and has made enough friends in hockey on his world’s saddest Make-A-Wish tour, that as long as he doesn’t end up in prison Bettman will probably give him a job at Department of Player Safety 041
Clark @clrkaitken.bsky.social · 15/04/2026If social media existed in the 1500s I’m like 98% sure this is what living through Henry VIII must have been like 031
