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Christian Polanco

@chrispolanco.com
1.5K followers 185 following 386 posts

Stand-up Comedian ⚽️: @soccercooligans.com

PostsRepliesMedia
Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 28/09/2026
Trinidad & Tobago vs Dominican Republic for Nations League. Good match on right now on FS2.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 28/09/2026
¡Asi es que se hace, coño! How good is this DR team, Jon! These last two years have been some incredible improvement. They're genuinely fun to watch.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 27/09/2026
Why buy a home when you can live in a data center?
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 25/09/2026
Might have to invite Noah on the @soccercooligans.com pod 🤔
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 25/09/2026
After giving up a 2-0 lead, Dominican Republic score a stoppage time winner against Nicaragua! Scenes in Santiago! We're going to the World Cup in 2030! 🇩🇴📈 #CONCACAF
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 23/09/2026
DONUT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT 🍩
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The Cooligans @soccercooligans.com · 22/09/2026
Old school Mourinho is back, baby!! 😅 New Cooligans Podcast out now! APPLE: tiny.cc/1kva101 SPOTIFY: tiny.cc/2kva101 YOUTUBE: youtu.be/-QiKswxOMYI
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 19/09/2026
Well, that sucked. 🫩 #hudsonriverderby
Picture of Yankee stadium during an NYCFC game with crowd in frame
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Justin Baragona @justinbaragona.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
static.klipy.com
The Simpsons: We've Tried Nothing
ALT: The Simpsons: We've Tried Nothing
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The Cooligans @soccercooligans.com · 16/09/2026
Join us tonight at 8pm ET exclusively at yahoosports.com or the Yahoo Sports App for the first ever official Campeones Cup Altcast from MLS + AppleTV + Yahoo! Watch the game with two stand-up comedians and we'll see if Messi can bring another trophy to Inter Miami! 📺️
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 15/09/2026
even Mitch can't believe he's still alive
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 13/09/2026
still thinking about this wild Apple News notification I got last year 😳
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 13/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Drake & Lil Yachty Looking at Laptop
ALT: Drake & Lil Yachty Looking at Laptop
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The Cooligans @soccercooligans.com · 13/09/2026
Incredible goal from Nico Fernandez Mercau on a set piece. Did Luighi set a Gortat screen here on Yedlin tho? 😅
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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
9/11 victim Michael Massaroli’s son: "You do my dad's legacy & the legacy of all victims no honor using this tragedy to spread hate. I've had to spend 25 years seeing people use it to hate on our Muslim brothers & sisters, people who don't look like them."
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 11/09/2026
I will always remember the time I went to see Pearl Jam live at Madison Square Garden with a bunch of friends. One of my friends brought his uncle, who was younger than us btw. Eddie Vedder called out the Islamophobia after 9/11, and my friend's young uncle just left the venue about 5 songs in. 🤷🏽
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 11/09/2026
I'm on @totalsoccershow.bsky.social today talking about @soccercooligans.com upcoming MLS Alt-cast for Campeones Cup. ⭐ 🎧 podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/c...
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 07/09/2026
homegirl don't got the blink feature?
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 04/09/2026
This article screams, "WHY ARE YOU GIVING THEM ACCESS AND NOT US? IT'S NOT FAIR! 😡" Cope.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 04/09/2026
The idea that a Comms team for ANY politician is not connecting with independent media outlets or content creators directly, is absurd. The Mayor's office is trying to get the word out to as many people as possible. YOUR outlet does not serve that purpose.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 04/09/2026
It's wild seeing stories like this and seeing up close how outright disingenuous they are. The group I'm in is just a Signal group chat, and the Mayor's team regularly posts things the Mayor is working on, and asks if anyone would like to cover it. Basically, a press release for content creators.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 04/09/2026
I can confirm that I am in Mayor Mamdani's "Private Army" of influencers, and that I have received no money for it. In that way, me and U.S. Army veterans share a lot of the same challenges.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 02/09/2026
@pablo.show right now:
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 02/09/2026
Some personal news…
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 02/09/2026
this is the worst day of my life. 😭
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 31/08/2026
me during this transfer window:
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 31/08/2026
It is comforting to know I am not the only one who knows this pain. 🥲
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 30/08/2026
We need to start a counseling group, Leander. Me, you, and Roberto Baggio need to heal from this pain.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 30/08/2026
Missed the 5th penalty in my Sunday league semi-final and cost my team the game. 😭
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 25/08/2026
IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY TO PREVENT THIS 😭
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 17/08/2026
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 05/08/2026
Picked Joao Plata in one draw and said
static.klipy.com
Obi-Wan Kenobi: A Name I've Not Heard
ALT: Obi-Wan Kenobi: A Name I've Not Heard
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 05/08/2026
I’d want to cause nothing but misery to all those around me too if I never experienced these wonders of the world. 😂
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 05/08/2026
Republicans have never had tostones, and that honestly explains a lot.
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The Cooligans @soccercooligans.com · 04/08/2026
🚨FYI: No new podcast episodes from August 3rd - 14th. All new Cooligans episodes will be back on August 17th. 🎧📺 We're taking a much-needed break after that World Cup marathon of 11 cities and over 40 podcast episodes. See you in 2 weeks! ❤️
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 03/08/2026
Japan’s like “dang why you bringing up old stuff?”
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The Cooligans @soccercooligans.com · 30/07/2026
FIFA is facing tremendous backlash over scheme to sell the World Cup! 🤬 Recorded live at MLS All-Star in Charlotte with Mickey Voll Head of Marketing at Pelé Soccer APPLE: tinyurl.com/5n6nr9p5 SPOTIFY: tinyurl.com/dxbrth5v YOUTUBE: youtube.com/live/ldfZtGf...
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 24/07/2026
Don't let Mike Vrabel bringing a cute dog to a press conference to deflect attention away from him cheating on his wife with NFL reporter Diana Russini, who was also cheating on her husband, distract you from the fact that LEBRON JAMES HAS JOINED THE PHILADELPHIA 76ERS. Holy cow!
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 24/07/2026
me lying to myself in the mirror:
static.klipy.com
Steve Terreberry: I'm Not Buying It
ALT: Steve Terreberry: I'm Not Buying It
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The Cooligans @soccercooligans.com · 24/07/2026
Tyler Adams on the pod today. We chat about the red card situation with Balogun at the World Cup. Have a listen! #USMNT APPLE: tinyurl.com/yuzcavw8 SPOTIFY: tinyurl.com/27p9szkm YOUTUBE: youtu.be/9NLTG4qbbyU
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 24/07/2026
A fun fact about me is that I know every lyric to every song on this album. 😊
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The Cooligans @soccercooligans.com · 22/07/2026
Step 1: Start a comedy soccer podcast A bunch of stuff in between… Step 9,000: Open for Ludacris at a World Cup watch party in Atlanta 4️⃣0️⃣4️⃣
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 20/07/2026
The 2026 World Cup is over. 11 cities. 31 podcast episodes. The most insane six weeks of my life.
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Bruce Little @brucedlittle.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Maine is in absolute outrage! Protesters took over Senator Susan Collins’ office chanting "VOTE HER OUT" after an ICE thug brutally executed a 26-year-old Colombian man. They are demanding immediate accountability for this state-sponsored murder! Enough is enough!
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 12/07/2026
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 12/07/2026
waking up to the news like:
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 08/07/2026
Colombians introduced me to soccer and basically adopted me. The feelings are complicated. 🥺
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 08/07/2026
A Dominican man knocks Colombia out of the World Cup. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time. 🥲
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 07/07/2026
i blame trump
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The Cooligans @soccercooligans.com · 02/07/2026
"I cannot believe that was a red card." - @TaylorTwellman.bsky.social on the Folarin Balogun red card. #USMNT 📺 : youtube.com/live/8GfbP69...
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