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Christian Polanco

@chrispolanco.com
1.5K followers 185 following 386 posts

Stand-up Comedian ⚽️: @soccercooligans.com

PostsRepliesMedia
Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 28/09/2026
Trinidad & Tobago vs Dominican Republic for Nations League. Good match on right now on FS2.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 25/09/2026
After giving up a 2-0 lead, Dominican Republic score a stoppage time winner against Nicaragua! Scenes in Santiago! We're going to the World Cup in 2030! 🇩🇴📈 #CONCACAF
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 19/09/2026
Well, that sucked. 🫩 #hudsonriverderby
Picture of Yankee stadium during an NYCFC game with crowd in frame
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 13/09/2026
still thinking about this wild Apple News notification I got last year 😳
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 11/09/2026
I'm on @totalsoccershow.bsky.social today talking about @soccercooligans.com upcoming MLS Alt-cast for Campeones Cup. ⭐ 🎧 podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/c...
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 02/09/2026
@pablo.show right now:
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 31/08/2026
me during this transfer window:
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 30/08/2026
Missed the 5th penalty in my Sunday league semi-final and cost my team the game. 😭
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 17/08/2026
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 20/07/2026
The 2026 World Cup is over. 11 cities. 31 podcast episodes. The most insane six weeks of my life.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 12/07/2026
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 12/07/2026
waking up to the news like:
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 14/06/2026
💙🧡💙🧡🏀💙🧡🏀💙🧡🏀💙
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 04/06/2026
How bout them Knickerbockers?!?
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 24/05/2026
Nearly half of the Premier League got a European place, and Everton said
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 17/05/2026
Maxi Moralez!!! Nooo!!! 😭😭 #NYCFC
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 04/05/2026
Me reading this as an Everton and Mets fan:
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 04/05/2026
Being an Everton fan has been the most toxic relationship I've ever had.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 01/05/2026
Knicks vs Hawks scoreline looking like a vote tally in the House of Representatives.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 30/04/2026
So what if it’s a school night #NYCFC
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 30/04/2026
Lovely night of @opencup.ussoccer.com Hudson River Derby at SI Stadium. NYCFC played like Arsenal tonight for some reason. All 3 CBs scored headers from corner kicks. Nico Cavallo had his best ever game for the club. Maxi Moralez is ageless. Strong performance and a much needed win! 🗽
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 23/04/2026
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 24/03/2026
Ze Roberto (pic included) 😅
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 15/03/2026
Talles Magno scores immediately after I give Talles Magno a Talles Magno cap?? I dunno man, I think I should be credited with an assist. #nycfc
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 14/03/2026
Mere minutes away from an incredible point against 1st place Arsenal, but instead, Everton give up 2 goals in 7 minutes, and the dagger is delivered by a literal child that was cooking grown men. #EvertonFC
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 05/03/2026
ICYMI: I’m in the NYCFC mascot announcement video. 🐦
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 01/03/2026
Explaining to my toddler that WW3 is upon us but Tayvon Gray just scored a 99th minute game-winner away at Philadelphia, and made the world feel a little less scary: #nycfc
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 23/02/2026
Josh Sargent when he's not wearing a USMNT jersey
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 23/02/2026
Watching Kash Patel in the USA Olympic hockey locker room OR in the Trump administration:
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 22/02/2026
My club plays its first game of the season tonight. 🥲 #nycfc
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 19/02/2026
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 11/02/2026
When I opened the app and saw BlueSky has drafts now 🥹
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 09/02/2026
Exiting this Super Bowl party after Bad Bunny’s performance
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 09/02/2026
Me after the first snap #SuperBowlLX
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 28/01/2026
Sin vergüenza. 🤮 Stitch: @minnmax.com
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 25/01/2026
Cops seeing federal agents shoot people in the street:
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 19/01/2026
uhhh, pretty sure he put his thang down, flipped it, and reversed it
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 13/01/2026
that mf under that mask
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 03/01/2026
Not sure about you guys, but I expect a little bit more of the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize award winner than attacking a sovereign country in the middle of the night and kidnapping its sitting president. That’s just me tho.
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 23/12/2025
DOJ redacting the Epstein files
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 20/12/2025
Make it make sense. 😒 #utft
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 16/12/2025
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 30/11/2025
Not like this. 😔 #nycfc
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 30/11/2025
I’m at my niece’s 1st birthday party while also watching Inter Miami vs NYCFC. The pink birthday theme feels like betrayal. 😭🗽 #MLSCupPlayoffs
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 24/11/2025
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 15/11/2025
Reminds me of this classic 😅
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 09/11/2025
So…just starve the population?? That’s the policy??
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 05/11/2025
ZOHRAN WINS!!
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 04/11/2025
CHRISTIAN POLANCO COST OF LIVING CLASSIC 2025 | HIGHLIGHTS SKILLS JOKES 4K ⚽🎤| @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social @soccercooligans.com
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Christian Polanco @chrispolanco.com · 03/11/2025
For like 2 whole days, I thought "Kalshi" was "Kashi," and was wondering why a cereal company was getting so involved in the NYC mayoral election.
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