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Chris Oldwood

@chrisoldwood.bsky.social
348 followers 189 following 1.3K posts

skeet = reinterpret_cast(life)

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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 3h
TupperWare: services that are delivered via a lightweight container.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 11h
What kind of restaurants do Platform Engineers prefer? Cuban-eaties…
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Wondering if the initials in E.M. Forcester stands for Electro Motive…
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
When cyborgs like RoboCop take on nourishment first thing in the morning, do they use their cereal port?
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kottke.org @kottke.org · 01/10/2026
Map of the Lighthouses of the World. Each lighthouse sweeps out its actual arc and the reach of the beams is true to scale. Very cool. [kottke.org]
kottke.org
Map of the Lighthouses of the World
From mapped.earth, a map of every lighthouse on the planet, along with other charted lights like lighted buoys and such. The screenshots above are static but the lights on the real map move: each lighthouse sweeps out it
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Currently struggling to measure out exactly 300g of flour, I can only get 293g or 307g. That's the last time I borrow Eratosthenes’ sieve!
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
This 🧵 is already pretty long but is chock full of useful insights around security and the differences between the general purpose Windows / Linux and the tighter ecosystems of modern smartphones / iOS.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Currently wondering if the codename for Pi v2.0 will be Tau…
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Currently writing a novel about a 16 year old lad who is disillusioned with the state of the Internet after constantly fighting to prove he's not a robot. Working title is The Captcha in the Rye…
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Is the maximum rate at which you can write characters to a console window known as Terminal Velocity?
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I remember when being able to take the output from one program and pass it as input to another one was just a pipe dream…
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Data Scientist
Brent Spiner, aka Commander Data, dressed as a scientist.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
FOMOdoro: timeboxing your interactions with social media apps to ensure you strike a healthy balance between your real and Internet selves.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Big Data
A giant Commander Data from Star Trek looking over a city skyline.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
When you send data using the Kermit protocol is the transfer speed measured in ribbits per second?
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Dave Vetter @davidrvetter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Happy Kicked In The Head By A Horse Day, to all who celebrate. It's the 7th anniversary of this absolute banger.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Abstract Data
An abstract picture of Commander Data.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I always forget that when I modify the schema of the church’s database I need to use ALTAR TABLE...
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D.W.A.P. (Ben) @andwap.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
When your gamedev friend shows you progress on their new engine.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The practice of sticking all C# extension methods in a top-level folder called Extensions needs to get in the bin 😔. Grouping code by the implementation mechanism is just weird. We don’t put all abstract classes in a top-level folder called Abstracts, or have a Statics folder for static classes. 🤷‍♂️
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I've been struggling to upload a photo of Marcel Marceau. Every time I send the request I get a response of "415 Unsupported Mime Type"…
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
bool-maxxing if (DateTime.TryParse(date.ToString(), out temp) == true) { return true; } else { return false; }
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Steve Downey @sdowney.org · 22/09/2026
In which I am cranky: sdowney.org/posts/existi...
sdowney.org
✌Existing Practice✌
"Standardize existing practice" was barely true of the first C++ standard, and it is the wrong rule now. It was already being stretched in 1998. The ARM was existing practice. Templates as specified i
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Jeff Bailey [Unofficial] @jeffbailey.us.web.brid.gy · 20/09/2026
jeffbailey.us
Structurizr vs Mermaid vs PlantUML for C4 Diagrams
Three tools draw C4 diagrams from text, and picking between them looks like a taste question about syntax. It is mostly a question about what you want to keep: a picture, or a model that can produce pictures. Everything below was run on one system modeled three ways, with Structurizr 2026.09.19 (structurizr-* 6.2.3), Mermaid CLI 11.17.0 on mermaid 11.17.2, and PlantUML 1.2026.8 on Graphviz 16.1.0. ## The short answer **Reach for Structurizr** When the same system needs more than one diagram. You describe the model once and generate every view from it, so a renamed container changes in one place. **Reach for Mermaid** When the diagram must render where it lives, in a README or a wiki, with no build step and no renderer to install. **Reach for PlantUML** When layout quality matters most. Graphviz routes edges around boxes, and no other option here does. These are not three competitors for one slot. Structurizr exports PlantUML and Mermaid, so the real choice is whether you keep a model upstream of whichever renderer you already use.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
“Programs must be written for machines to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.” — HAL 9000 Abelson
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Training Data
Various images of Commander Data from the tv show Star Trek.
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Present & Correct @presentcorrect.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Typology of Pedestrian Walking Symbols walking-men.com/product/hood... Via @kottke.org
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Currently writing a screenplay for an animated film about the time I wrote a neural net in 6809 assembly for my 8-bit micro. Working title is How to Train Your Dragon...
The Dragon 32 home computer.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The messiest codebase I ever worked on was for an online game where players would cooperate to kill dragons in a castle basement; it was a big ball of MUD…
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Achievement Unlocked: 10K Lake Swim Only people under 50 beat me, which feels like a nice bonus 😁.
Strava activity for an open water 10K swim.
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Jason Gorman @jasongorman.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
"software engineering as we knew it is finished". Software engineering as *you* knew it may be finished...
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
After spending so many years diagnosing race conditions from log files I’ve decided to formally become a horological philatelist - someone who collects time stamps...
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
If I raise a pull request against the database, and add another dependent pull request for the back-end, and then a further dependent pull request against the front-end, does that make me a Full Stacked Developer?
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Was the Hexagonal Architecture invented by Alan Key?
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I miss the good old days when we used to raise tickets against the Operations team instead the modern way which seems to be raising tickets against Platform Engineering… :P
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Some pixel art I spotted on the walls recently in Madrid. (The last one is Freddie Mercury, right?)
A snowman drawn as pixel art on a cream coloured wall.A cocktail glass as pixel art.Wally from Where’s Wally as pixel art.Freddie Mercury (?) as pixel art.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
On-premises data centres are often derided for their attitude to building hand-crafted servers and yet those banging on about being "cloud native" fail to recognise that snowflakes are native to clouds...
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Injection attacks have never been a surprise to me. Programmers have an inherent desire to dynamically generate and execute code. It’s in our DNA, in fact you might call it prime-eval…
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Rob Bowley @robbowley.net · 10/09/2026
Interesting article, I've seen a few articles recently from experienced XP background type folks saying they're dropping lower level TDD in favour of more outside in acceptance/E2E test driven approach
adamtornhill.substack.com
Practices I Abandoned with Agents: An Ode to Test-Driven Development
After 25 years with TDD, we are now parting ways. The incremental TDD steps were great for human cognition, but didn't survive the transition to agentic coding.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
What I imagine when people say “frontier model”. This game promised to be Elite, but so much better. Instead it’s more memorable for being a bug ridden mess on release :o).
The box art for the video game Frontier: Elite II.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The Open/Closed Principle doesn’t apply to pre-packaged Java classes. How could they be open or closed when they’re already a jar? :P
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Brian Bilston @brianbilston.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Today’s poem is called ‘Love Excels’.
[image description: a poem embedded in an Excel spreadsheet with the words contained within individual cells. Line 3 has words in a single merged cell. Line 4 has text wrapping applied. Line 8 has filters applied to each word]

Love Excels

Let’s spread ourselves on sheets of love
and turn our data into poetry.
Our cells shall merge themselves together
As you wrap your text around me.

Our sum is greater than our parts,
let’s crunch our figures without compunction.
Remove this filter from my heart –
you give me form and function.

We shall frolic among the formulae,
pivot our tables now and often.
I will total all your rows
and you can add my column.

Brian Bilston
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Tetris is an abbreviation of Technical Debtris.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Everyone in software delivery is obsessed with everything being “shifted left”. Well, this is what happens when all you do all day is shift left, shift left, shift left, … :P
A broken left shift key on a laptop keyboard.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Off to the cinema to watch Terminator 2, in 3D*. I’m not sure I’ve watched a film in 3D since the original Avatar came out. I wonder where I put our 3D glasses… *I’m skeptical, but I haven’t seen it on the big screen for years, and there were some favourable reviews.
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James O'Malley @jamesomalley.co.uk · 03/09/2026
The death of Gloria Steinem is a good opportunity to remind everyone to watch the TV show "MRS AMERICA", which is currently on Disney+. It came out during the early pandemic and sank without a trace, but it was a really good drama on the feminist battles of the 70s!
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Dare Obasanjo @carnage4life.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
In honor of Uber shutting down in Nigeria this week, here’s my favorite story about Uber in Nigeria.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
TFW you wonder what a GCC warning flag has to do with athletics… :o)
A sports headline about an athlete named Werro.
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Jason Gorman @jasongorman.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
London-based client's looking for a snr software engineer with Extreme Programming experience on the JVM - ideally Kotlin. Open Source start-up with US backing, working on dev tools. Salary range: £90K-£120K. Hybrid, 2 days/week on site in central London. You must be eligible to work in the UK.
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Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
$ ln -s ASTROLOGY.md AGENTS.md pivot-to-ai.com/2026/08/27/y... :P
pivot-to-ai.com
Your AGENTS.md file doesn’t actually do anything
AI coding bot vendors tell you to use a context file with instructions for the chatbot on how to edit your project. Claude Code wants a CLAUDE.md, or there’s AGENTS.md in general. [Anthropic] But d…
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