Sign in

Chris Martin

@chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy
89 followers 10 following 6.8K posts

[bridged from functional.cafe/@chris__martin on the fediverse by fed.brid.gy ]

PostsRepliesMedia
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 54m
We say that billionaires are outside the reach of the law, but they're not, not totally. This is all the space fantasy is about - a Mars destination for human trafficking that the cops physically cannot get to
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 14h
This is the coolest quilt I have ever seen. Photo doesn't really do it justice because much of the artistry is in the small quilting details
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 03/10/2026
There's a very pointed shot in the opening of Wall-E that clarifies that garbage planet had thoroughly adopted wind and nuclear energy
100
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 02/10/2026
Inscrutable Haskell code is produced only by students and sociopaths. Everybody else, anybody who both knows how and chooses to, just writes normal.
000
Reposted by Chris Martin
Monoid Mary @argumatronic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
personally i think AI is likely to be a wash overall, as it makes some types of folly and error more likely and others less likely, depending on the users and circumstances. i know that i have an especially grim view of the human healthcare professionals because of their steadfast refusal to help me
041
Reposted by Chris Martin
Monoid Mary @argumatronic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
when we talk about AI and its possible uses in healthcare, i am not really sure what to do with the fact that human folly and error were already such a substantial problem in healthcare that there were, for example, probably deaths in the thousands each year from fully preventable causes
181
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 02/10/2026
I want to see somebody give their AI thing an extremely normal ass-name. Questions? Ask Steven (tm)
000
Reposted by Chris Martin
depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The Phantom of Heilbronn, also referred to as the Woman Without a Face, was a presumed female serial killer whose existence was inferred from DNA evidence found at 40 crime scenes across Austria, France and Germany from 1993 to 2009.

In March 2009, investigators concluded that the supposed serial killer did not exist, and the DNA belonged to a woman who worked at a factory that made the cotton swabs used for collecting DNA samples
4852261239
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 30/09/2026
NEWS: I tried to do something on a web site and it did not work
001
Reposted by Chris Martin
Monoid Mary @argumatronic.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
writing is such an obvious boost to our abilities that we've invented it a few times in the course of human history, and yet easy enough to do once you are intelligent enough that we've done it a few times and adapted it to our purposes many, many more
121
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
Three seconds was a good web page load time, like, twenty years ago on a DSL line, and the median has only gotten worse
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
Claude is basically Michael Scott's beach day assessments of dwight and andy - Dwight: Great salesman, loves the work. He is, however, an idiot. - Andy: Pros: Smart, I trust him. Cons: ... I don't really trust him
010
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
What the fuck is this MacOS security thing where you don't have permission to shell into your downloads folder? How the everloving shit am I supposed to use things I have downloaded
110
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
Programming has always been frustrating because you know in theory you could make something perfect and you don't have time so you turn to libraries of dubious quality whose author you have no reason to trust
100
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
this is neat rickwinfrey.com/writings/content-de…
rickwinfrey.com
A Deep Dive into FastCDC
An exploration of FastCDC's Gear hash, normalized chunking with dual masks, and the 2020 two-byte-per-iteration optimization, with code in pseudocode, Rust, and TypeScript.
010
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
Calling out hypocrisies is so dull. Have your own fully formed opinion on the legitimacy and efficacy of intellectual property protections instead of being a funhouse mirror of everybody else's
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
New bumper sticker: "AI doesn't kill people, I do"
020
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 27/09/2026
Some things have natural economies of scale and so forth, and some things are critical enough to want to treat as infrastructure, but "entertainment" having neither of these properties and falling hard to centralization nonetheless speaks poorly of the hope for other areas of life.
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 27/09/2026
Does everybody's cat make a litter box shit-burying gesture when they want to complain to you that something is smelly?
100
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 27/09/2026
I've really never sung before but the local choir director seems convinced that I'm essential as the only man in town in the tenor range, so that's a surprising obligation I've fallen into
010
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 27/09/2026
What we should have had was per-household SSO providers and instead what we got was employers, Google, and GitHub
100
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 27/09/2026
RE: sauropods.win/@futurebird/117343119… nobody likes AI more than my uncles who are constantly posting goofy edited photos of themselves on facebook
100
Reposted by Chris Martin
Monoid Mary @argumatronic.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
have recently discovered that United Healthcare has really terrible mental health coverage, specifically, and, well, that does make some events easier to understand
041
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 27/09/2026
www.cloudflare.com/products/artifac… Here's something very stupid: This seems like a cool service by itself. Why market it solely for "agents"?
cloudflare.com
Cloudflare Artifacts - Versioned Git-compatible storage for agents
Versioned, Git-compatible storage built for the era of agents. Create millions of repositories, fork from GitHub, and give every agent its own branch.
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 26/09/2026
Sort of funny how plainly engineering and accounting disagree on whether fixing the bugs is debt repayment or operational expense
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 26/09/2026
There's a great deal of collapse that is now quite inevitable and still we talk only in terms of "stupid preppers" or "climate anxiety" - Even the media claiming to be the ones sounding the alarm are, at heart, deniers
100
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 26/09/2026
"I don't think I could bring myself to kill an animal" is just a class assertion. That kind of work is for a different kind of person. "Thank god I'm not a Delta. Deltas wear khaki."
120
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 26/09/2026
In yet another episode of "hardware is amazing, software is stupid": 1. Oura is a tiny ring that can tell when you're sick 2. Its app keeps offering advice about meeting your activity goals even when it knows you have a fever
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 26/09/2026
No, the beauty of Purple Noon and Ripley is that there's no single turning point, you have no idea how long he's been planning this. Talented Mr Ripley clarified too much.
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
I don't care how the reporter wants to spin it, this year's Trail of Bales is a fucking disaster. Half the town went off theme leaderadvertiser.com/news/2026/sep/…
leaderadvertiser.com
Ronan’s new Trail of Bales theme rolls into another great Harvest Festival
From Dolly Parton to the Statue of Liberty and the “Leaning Tower of Pizza,” hay bales around Ronan have transformed into creative landmarks as the community welcomes another year of the Chamber of Commerce Harvest Festival.
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
It's fun to theorize but I don't believe SimCity has real impact on anyone's worldview. For one thing, I suspect pretty much nobody thinks about town planning at all, so there are not many opinions to skew.
100
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
Lord willing, we will prevail, through the purity of essence of our fluids.
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
USB-C is nice and all but I think a required standardization on batteries for cordless power tools would have more impact, regulation-wise
100
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
I went to computering school for a lot of years and was never once there exposed to the idea that a software system could have deletion requirements, a need to demonstrably *not* have information stored. This can have large system design implications, is a really common need, and offers a good […]
functional.cafe
Original post on functional.cafe
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
"code as an expression of our shared understanding of a problem" - I mean, sometimes. Sometimes not. I do this all day every day. There's lots of kinds of code that exist for different reasons. It is not all just one type of thing
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
I never would have imagined people would be trading credit default swaps on Amazon
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
It's tragically poetic that where people used to report on the scale of big compute projects in FLOPS, we now see a number of watts.
010
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 24/09/2026
I don't know why I keep thinking that Claude can be even a starting point for writing. It produces a page, it sort of seems okay, I start to refine it, and usually by the time I'm down it's widdled down to three sentences that weren't present in the initial draft.
000
Reposted by Chris Martin
Monoid Mary @argumatronic.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
the idea of the ERA has been around long enough that Eleanor Roosevelt (RIP queen) opposed it -- iirc, her objection was that women need special protections from the government, not merely equal rights, due to bearing special burdens, and this is the only anti-ERA point i will concede
112
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 24/09/2026
Are we all able to agree better now that writing a large quantity of words is often a mask for not really understanding?
110
Reposted by Chris Martin
bob @bob.feed.hella.cheap.ap.brid.gy · 23/09/2026
the america A/america B thing is really people who have bullshit jobs and people who don't
102
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 23/09/2026
The primary function of modern web design seems to be to obscure the fact of whether a page contains any real content
100
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 23/09/2026
Languages with nontrivial build times rely heavily on incremental building. There's often a long initial setup, after which the development machine has enough state to make consequent builds reasonable. A lot of AI workflows make this infeasible; Claude running in a github action or cloud agent […]
functional.cafe
Original post on functional.cafe
200
Reposted by Chris Martin
bob @bob.feed.hella.cheap.ap.brid.gy · 22/09/2026
it's easier to believe in the end of the world than it is to believe in the end of economic growth
121
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 23/09/2026
It really says something that when EU cookie laws required webmasters to choose between a popup that turns their site into dogshit and giving up their data selling, 100% of websites chose dogshit
000
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 22/09/2026
> Improve formatting of column-aligned output 🤔 github.com/NetBSD/src/commit/1824bc…
020
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 22/09/2026
Why have I never heard of anybody trying to sell videogames on bootable USB drives? You could basically re-create the experience of buying game cartridges. As a prototype you could just use ordinary thumb drives, but in advanced mode you could manufacture sticks with the game content in ROM.
110
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 21/09/2026
One sort of rule I can't seem to configure claude code to do reliably, which I've been very surprised about, is 1. A function's name should describe what it does. 2. If you write a documentation comment on something, the comment should describe what it does. 3. Rule (2) means that it should not […]
functional.cafe
Original post on functional.cafe
100
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 21/09/2026
I purchased something by phone call this morning because the website didn't work. Between call quality issues and a thick accent I could barely hear anything, but I got several questions answered and an order successfully placed, none of which the website was able to accomplish
100
Chris Martin @chris--martin.functional.cafe.ap.brid.gy · 21/09/2026
I've long felt that having passengers walk through the airport is a costly failed attempt to preserve human dignity, and they should just give up and place people immediately into locked capsules that shuffle everyone, like the baggage, directly onto the aircraft
000