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OLD CRIED PANTS

@captainfartpants.bsky.social
409 followers 174 following 11K posts

Careless Discharge

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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 2h
It makes me chuckle worth junior saying "Oklahoma- Texas" to get the cheap "my team named first" thing. He talked about the history of it always being held in Texas, so it's Texas-OU if you consider who the home team is... Both fan bases can be extremely annoying.
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 4h
static.klipy.com
Dancing Happy Dance
ALT: Dancing Happy Dance
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 4h
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 4h
"The Dude's a Marvel guy" Didn't know I'd be posting that today around 6:30am
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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 11h
That's crazy.
Cannons are so inaccurate that no one has ever been killed or even injured by one.
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 4h
😆😆😆😆
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 13h
You fly delta and see if you're not driven to do some shit like this...
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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 21h
That blows my mind.
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 13h
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
You'd be lucky to bury the pet rats your neighbor feeds in there. Put your back into it! (Also, your image has been flagged for pool brag)
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I mean.... exactly
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
TYFKT
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Pogo Platform Fail
ALT: Pogo Platform Fail
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Black Horse Rearing Up
ALT: Black Horse Rearing Up
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The Onion @theonion.com · 07/10/2026
Thighs On Fucking Fire 12 Seconds Into Flirty Lap Dance theonion.com/thighs-on-fucking-fire…
Thighs On Fucking Fire 12 Seconds Into Flirty Lap Dance
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Abby Normal Scene from Young Frankenstein
ALT: Abby Normal Scene from Young Frankenstein
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
🎂
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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Wow, that's so interesting.
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
You know I'm against listeners and flags!
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Well, definitely 2 segments to skip.
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Tom's Sleepy to Wide-Eyed Surprise
ALT: Tom's Sleepy to Wide-Eyed Surprise
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
RIP in Peace! Moment of silence...
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Donald Trump on "Eating Dogs and Cats"
ALT: Donald Trump on "Eating Dogs and Cats"
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Fits
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
You're Auntie, you're Auntie Social
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Finally, someone with the guts to post funny stuff about London!
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
@sportssturm.bsky.social can you please skeet out the link here for the drop your 👖 go fund me?
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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Wow, it must be ancient.
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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
That's so interesting.
People who have Type O blood almost always believe in ghosts.
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Monster Jam Monster Energy
ALT: Monster Jam Monster Energy
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
He was sliding last year big time and doing dumb shit like GameDay appearances
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
"Ma'am, this is Wendy's Customer Service"
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
It's 99% DZ curse
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Cartoon Men Burning Money
ALT: Cartoon Men Burning Money
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I thought we were just laughing at that dude's hair
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Was Rogan there?
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
That's a solid dog, probably an Expedition Max shopper/driver.
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Ba Dum Tss Drum Roll Joke
ALT: Ba Dum Tss Drum Roll Joke
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
We were being nice and not telling you, Kelly. #hairyneckmole
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Farmers Only
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
They are going to sacrifice humanity to make tons of money that they can't spend when AI releases a deadly virus, shuts down the grid, poisons the water, and launches nukes. Total and profound intellectual baseliners.
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Oooooh, they're so scary! 😆
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
W was 💯 a war criminal
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
W was 100% a war criminal
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
It's fun to see them again in your poop.
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Their deals are off the chain! Prices so low, it'll give you paws!
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I did a lot of thinking yesterday, and when I was disappointed that they won, I realized that somewhere I broke cowboys bad. My only goal now is to see Jerry suffer. As recently as 4 or 5 years ago, a cowboys loss would put me in a foul mood. It's been a bizarre turn of events.
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Kristy @kristyapril.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Aubrey is washed now
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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Very impressive.
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OLD CRIED PANTS @captainfartpants.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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