iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 3h

Can someone please hire Rachel McAdams so she doesn’t have to debase herself with gambling ads?

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 5h

Cannot wait to see the thick, lustrous hair he comes home with

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The fact that Bald Baldford has even a remote chance of becoming mayor, is a searing indictment of Torontonians

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Thé Poilievre simps are all in for Bald Baldford, the Poilievre of municipal politics

000

Reposted by Unreliable Narrator

⚡️It’s Got Electrolytes⚡️ @themarchingmorons.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

New idea for communion.🤣

2538114

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Some mean girls made that lady feel small for liking a shitty song, and now it’s everyone’s problem

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

If there’s an upside to the Jays‘ star-crossed season, it’s that it’ll chase off the baseball-curious hockey fans who cannot shut the fuck up about Vlad’s contract

000

Reposted by Unreliable Narrator

Rylie Fennec @fennecfoxrylie.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Stay mad. 🛫

391858270

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Cubs/Sox World Series. Da Pope throws out the first pitch. The portal to hell the Cubs opened in 2016 finally closes, and the fat orange pedo dies in the most painful, humiliating, and public way possible.

022

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

BlueSky is the “holy fuck I’m so grateful I live in Canada” app

010

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Belleville remains the Alberta of Ontario. Maybe lay off the fucking opioids? They’re rotting your already caca brains

001

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

You either die a hero, or live long enough to become Pokymarket Era Spike Lee

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Once Trump’s approval ratings are in the teens, he will try to rape them

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

What’s on the agenda for today, America? More fucking loser shit? Cool.

001

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Between them, Seth Rogen, Will Arnett, Ryan Reynolds, have offered exactly zero public statements supporting their home country. BUT! They’re more than happy to fly home to shoot shitty commercials, collect their paychecks, and fuck back off to the US.

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Ultimate Man’s never been the same since he witnessed Robert Wagner murder Natalie Wood

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Joe Rogan did far more than most people to get Trump re-elected, and Joe Rogan’s done far more than most to advance Trump’s fascist agenda. He never ever gets to separate himself from that, ever. And neither do his shitty hack disciples.

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

A modest proposal: give Tom Cruise the Best Actor Oscar for Digger now, and spare us all the 6 more months of this shit

000

Reposted by Unreliable Narrator

Patrickworld 🌎👋🏾🎸 @patrickworld.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

The internet remains undefeated

A street scene shows a blonde woman in a blue European Union–themed top, a man wearing a Canadian-flag shirt looking backward, and a person resembling Donald Trump in an American-flag dress.

34916

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

lol no shit you fat bitch. We’re about to *bury* you. Buy the ticket, take the ride!

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Just realized that a pedometer measures two VERY different things depending on how you pronounce the word

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

BREAKING: the Zit Remedy will not be opening for Ed Sheeran

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Michael Lorenzen did more damage to the Jays’ playoff hopes in 2 innings than all of Jesus Sanchez’s dropped fly balls combined

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

The only thing harder to comprehend than signing Michael Lotenzen, is pitching Michael Lorenzen in a game with playoff implications. Truly baffling stuff. Might as well pitch the guy who plays drums on the foot bridge outside the Dome.

010

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

No one thinks Don Jr is a failure more than Don Jr. He absolutely knows it, at a cellular level, and he despises himself. So remember that if you need cheering up. He will die completely unfulfilled, unhappy, and haunted. I love it.

010

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Don Jr’s kink is women whose tits are smaller than his

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Blame algorithms all you want, the reason people fall for MAHA, is that they are much, much less intelligent than the average human

010

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Psst. Arrighetti absokutely does not have it. He sucks. DFA this nerd.

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

wishing all you Toronto Air Show enthusiasts a very Merry White Trash Christmas!

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Never trust any world leader that doesn’t jack/jill off 3x day

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Oh wow the DOUG reboot is super dark

000

Reposted by Unreliable Narrator

Bluesky Fanatic @blueskyfanatic.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Norway's Prime Minister ripped apart trumps stupid letter. Love this! Every leader receiving a letter like this from TACO, should do the same. Thanks for your attention to this matter! ============================

39152741802

Reposted by Unreliable Narrator

Congressman Wesley Bell @repwesleybellmo.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Happy belated 102nd birthday to the first Black pitcher in Cardinals history, Bill Greason! From being one of the first Black Marines and fighting in the Battle of Iwo Jima, to the last surviving Negro Leagues player, to a pastor for 50 years, Bill is a LEGEND and an inspiration. Happy birthday!

904631815

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Gonna be REAL PISSED if Silo season 4 doesn’t tell me which characters are descended from Peter Gabriel

150

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Me watching Hugh Fidelity at 20: “This guys fucking gets it.” Me watching High Fidelity at 46; “This is an incel’s origin story?”

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

First red flag was that even his stroke was too lazy to finish the job

000

Reposted by Unreliable Narrator

Nick (derogatory) ✨ @slothropsmap.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

I speak on behalf of the nation’s oafs, galoots, brutes, meatheads, lugs, gorillas, clods, and gormless lummoxes when I say we sincerely and without reserve disavow Mr John Fetterman.

2387296

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Underrated: Tom Cruise’s French in Mission Impossibe: Fallout

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

If elected Mayor, Bald Bradford will go out and fight every tornado with his baseball bat TO THE DEATH

000

Unreliable Narrator @cactusballoon.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Gonna start referring to Mitch McConnell as ‘The American Dream,’ because that bitch‘s been dead a long time and no one wants to admit it

010