iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

I know most guys say they pull their own weight around the house, but in my family, I really do carry most of the invisible labor [my wife unsheathes her ninjatō and eviscerates me with a swift behind-the-back battōjutsu while simultaneously holding a kicking four-year-old under her dominant arm]

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 28/09/2026

I don’t believe that Indianapolis is an actual place. I’ve even been there and I really just don’t think it exists

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 28/09/2026

Would you rather have 32 perfectly sized teeth or one really really long tooth

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 28/09/2026

My decision to drop the Astros when the MLB dropped diversity initiatives is about to collide head on with my steadfast support of Shitty Teams That Made The Playoffs On A Technicality

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 23/09/2026

Today in parenting joys: my daughter has found her two favorite buttons in her say-the-word book. For the last twenty minutes it’s been customer. dinosaur. customer. dinosaur. customer. dinosaur. customer. [slight pause] dinosaur.

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 26/09/2026

doing “Nose Goes” with an adhd-diagnosed member of your friend group is BIGOTED and PROBLEMATIC

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 23/09/2026

Teaching my four-year-old about the internet

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 25/09/2026

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 24/09/2026

rob gronkowski at the kentucky derby after his lasik surgery: i don’t see race

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 23/09/2026

Babe are you okay? You’ve barely written any of your deepest vulnerabilities on bluesky the kompromat app

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 24/09/2026

rob gronkowski at the kentucky derby after his lasik surgery: i don’t see race

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 23/09/2026

Teaching my four-year-old about the internet

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 23/09/2026

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 23/09/2026

Babe are you okay? You’ve barely written any of your deepest vulnerabilities on bluesky the kompromat app

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 28/11/2024

Mac = Doofus
Charlie = Weird
Dee = Straight
Dennis = Woman

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 22/09/2026

My name is Joey G and I’m here to say some fucked up shit on the internet

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 17/09/2026

In ‘94 I wanted to be OJ for Halloween, so I got orange poster board and made myself into a can of frozen orange juice. I had a Bills helmet for candy. I wanted to do blackface too but my parents said no and taught me why that was wrong. Or they didn’t, I can’t remember. Either way blackface is bad

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 20/09/2026

Sure 2026 is dogshit, but remember 2025? Also dogshit. 2024? Dogshit. 2023? Dogshit. 2022? Dogshit. 2021? Dogshit. 2020? Dogshit. 2019? Dogshit. 2018? Dogshit. 2017? Dogshit. 2016? Dogshit. 2015 was ok

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 20/09/2026

Islands in the stream / That is what we are / Probably shouldn't have invented a human-to-island ray / Hindsight is 20/20

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 19/09/2026

You turn to Page 52. You see a picture of the Prinçe of Dolphins and you are immediately reminded of your desiccated American pœnis! A wry smile spreads across your panko-encrusted face

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 19/09/2026

You turn to Page 52. You see a picture of the Prinçe of Dolphins and you are immediately reminded of your desiccated American pœnis! A wry smile spreads across your panko-encrusted face

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Lake Superior! Live! @lake-superior.live · 19/09/2026

Current* conditions near Bayfield, WI:

View looking SSE from Port Superior Marina overlooking Pikes Bay in Lake Superior. // Image captured at (local time): 2026-09-18 21:14:01 CDT (about 5 min. prior to this post) // Image sourced from: windy.com // Current Temp in Bayfield: 59 F | 15 C // Precip: few clouds // Wind: ESE at 2 mph | 3 kph // Humidity: 93%

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 18/09/2026

hE aTe LeFtOvErS

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 18/09/2026

Proud to announce that I have just reached the “eating a piece of pizza out of the garbage” stage of parenting

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 17/09/2026

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 11/09/2026

Now time for someone with 100,000 followers to quote this and be like “YES THE FUCK HE IS”

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 11/09/2026

James Talarico is a cross between Tallahassee, Uncle Rico, and James Van Der Beek

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Miss Pavlichenko @noisegrrrl.xyz · 15/09/2026

Science: l'eau ça mouille, le feu ça brûle. Enquête exclusive de Libération.

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 12/09/2026

I’m on team ian here. “BuT bArRy BoNdS sHoUlD hAvE aN aStErIsK” eat shit loser. I watched him sock each and every one of those dingers and they were fucking awesome

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 11/09/2026

If your bath towel is starting to smell a little funky, you can just skip your shower for a few days. Give it a chance to air out

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 11/09/2026

If your bath towel is starting to smell a little funky, you can just skip your shower for a few days. Give it a chance to air out

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 08/09/2026

I’m so sorry but I saw this photo on linkedin and I love it so much

photo from linkedin of a bunch of people. it’s shitty in a few ways but this is primarily a visual gag so I’m going to kindly request that you skip this post and move on if you’re relying on the alt text to understand what’s going on

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 11/09/2026

Now time for someone with 100,000 followers to quote this and be like “YES THE FUCK HE IS”

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 11/09/2026

James Talarico is a cross between Tallahassee, Uncle Rico, and James Van Der Beek

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Raymonde Rainette Sauvé 🐸🐸🐸 @unoiseaucoasse.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Esti qui sont kétaines les français.

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 10/09/2026

Yes I made a Pennsatucky emoji for my iPhone. No I will not stop using it.

The pennsatucky hands up picture used as a text react emoji on my iPhone

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Sridhar Ramesh @radishharmers.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Oh yeah? Can AI fuck my wife? Can it pleasure her to orgasm? Because I cannot.

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Joe Garland 🦋 @bsky.dad · 09/09/2026

Our kid’s nanny Fred is awful. We tell him to take her to school but he just sits there playing with his toy trolley and singing about his neighborhood

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