便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 30/09/2026From now on if an app interrupts whatever I'm using it for asking me to write a review, I'm writing a bad review. I don't care if it's an app that cured my ebola. One star. Suck my dick with your fucking pop ups. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I'm starting a NOMEANSNO cover band called MAYBEMEANSNO. The lyrics of all the songs are changed to be about me asking people if they want to be my friend. 001
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 21/09/2026When you are an adult male living alone with ADHD you are basically the coolest person ever to 10-year-old boys. 'Wait, so you got 100% completion on Red Dead Redemption 2?' 'Yep, and after that I ate Taco Bell and watched a documentary about dinosaurs.' 'Can I please have your autograph.' 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Today's generation with their TikToks will never know spending your formative years thinking that if you wanted to buy a car you had to pussy cow. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Living alone in your 40s is awesome because sometimes you order a pizza and then when you go to the refrigerator for a sparkling water you realize you still have a cold pizza that you ordered last night. 010
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 17/09/2026I have had multiple breakfasts and I am still not happy to be awake today. Sorry cold pizza and ovaltine. You're just not cutting it today. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 17/09/2026I kind of hate the message of Green Eggs & Ham. Like, if Sam I Am was trying to get a date with a friend of yours, you would buy that friend pepper spray. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 13/09/2026The single coolest thing that has ever happened to me in China.tinyurl.comThe Shanghai Zoo part 13: The single coolest thing that has ever happened to me in ChinaThis is where the red pandas live. Do you see the people? Do you see how close they are to the red pandas? I was one of those people. We were so close that we could almost touch them. It was unbeli… 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 10/09/2026If your favorite lyric from a Straight-Edge band isn't 'My room's a mess and I can't get dressed.' then either you aren't hXc or you don't have adXhd. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 10/09/2026I have 99 problems but a b-word ain't one, because generally, when women see you have 99 problems, they're wise enough to not get involved with you. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 10/09/2026If you are in a war and you are driving the tank and you have to pee pee and poo poo is there a toilet in the tank or do you just have to open the tank window and dangle your bojangles? 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 05/09/2026You can't teach an old dog new tricks. You also can't call an old dog Barky Bark. Old dogs want to be taken seriously and ask to be called Bark Wahlberg. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 29/08/2026If you're not going to reciprocate my crush the least you could do is be really ugly and mean instead of perfect in every way. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 24/08/2026'The book the Kanamits have been reading, To Serve Man. We've been able to translate it.' 'Dear God, it's a cookbook isn't it?' 'Worse. It's the screenplay for a sequel to You Got Served.' 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Me organizing my desk: 'This shelf is for stuff I don't know what to do with. This shelf is... for stuff I don't know what to do with...' 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 24/08/2026My astrology teacher asked us to make a star chart, only I thought she said 'starch art.' My potato sculpture got an F and now I'll never be a person who gets paid to make stuff up. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 15/08/2026In Australia, there is an entire store that sells things that are worth wool, but they do not tell you how much wool the stuff is worth, just that it's Woolworth's. Believe it or not, this is not the stupidest joke I've ever made. 000
Reposted by 便便先生depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 14/08/2026amazing article 124102562485
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 14/08/2026I'm just going to date myself for a while. Well, friends with benefits myself. Except we aren't really friends. I'm just going to fuck buddy myself for a while. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 12/08/2026After being on a bus for 7 hours, and going to the wrong place because Booking dot com lied to Uber, I finally got to my hotel, and it's a room in a person's house. 100
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 10/08/2026I feel like if Vladimir Lenin was alive today and he was given a general overview of what the Internet was and the significance of the suffix '-tube' he would be seriously, seriously disappointed by RedTube. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 10/08/2026I'm not clear on how radical acceptance is anything more than a new agey way of saying 'Life sucks. Get over it.' 000
Reposted by 便便先生Musicology Duck @musicologyduck.bsky.social · 09/08/2026fun fact: DC has a street named Capitalsaurus Court after elementary school kids got council to name it that because of dinosaur bones discovered there during sewer construction in the 1890s that belong to a species thought to be unique to DC 31733313
Reposted by 便便先生CAKE @thebandcake.bsky.social · 07/08/2026Enemy of freedom? Explain your dismissive stance 0629
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 07/08/2026I think it's maybe not a great look to brag about how many countries one has visited to GRSM friends while several of those countries still ordain death by stoning for being GRSM. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 07/08/2026I miss Oakland. Nobody tries to sell me their rap album on the trolley here. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 06/08/2026It's funny how Whipped Cream and Other Delights has the most famous album cover of all time but it seems like nobody really knows who Herb Alpert is anymore. 000
Reposted by 便便先生PBS News @pbsnews.org · 30/07/2026The Trump administration has violated a court order by transferring several incarcerated transgender women to a segregated prison unit, an attorney for the inmates argued on Wednesday in urging a federal judge to enforce the order. to.pbs.org/4wuBjidpbs.orgJudge weighs bid to block or reverse transfers of transgender inmates into a segregated prison unitThe Trump administration has violated a court order by transferring several incarcerated transgender women to a segregated prison unit, an attorney for the inmates argued on Wednesday in urging a fede... 610544
Reposted by 便便先生Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 15/07/2026I love how companies will just send you an email like "oh by the way we've changed the terms and conditions. Why? Uh, no reason, we just decided to. Anyway it doesn't really matter what you think, you agree to this now." 720339
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 15/07/2026Remember that movie Eagle Eye? The government builds this computer to detect terrorists and then the computer detects that the government are terrorists so then some plucky non-government Americans defeat the computer because the computer is the bad guy. What the hell was that movie? 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 14/07/2026There's an old and homophobic belief that women become lesbian after a particularly unplesent relationship with a man. If this was the case, Mia Farrow would probably be the gayest lesbian of all time. She would make Sappho look like Michele Bachmann. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 14/07/2026If Takashi Miike saw what I could do to a large burrito in one sitting, he would find the imagery too disturbing to ever be part of a movie. #IchiTheChimichanga 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 14/07/2026It's amazing how many YouTube sponsorships are for subscription services that you can get a better version of for free on YouTube. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 12/07/2026More animal friends today at Charged LBH.tinyurl.comThe Shanghai Zoo part 12: It’s my time of the muntjac.Blesbok, or, literally translated from Chinese, the white faced cow antelope. The scimitar oryx, or, literally translated from Chinese, the curved horn sword antelope. Muntjacs are cute little guys… 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 11/07/2026I have trouble parsing how 'Be here now.' and 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' could be true at the same time. My therapist et al. keep encouraging me to stop having hopes and dreams and worries and just be in the moment. Am I missing something? That sounds like terrible advice. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 09/07/2026*Adds 'sword collecting' to interests on okcupid profile. Is instantly killed by flood of seduced women.* 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 09/07/2026I want to open a Forever 21 next to a Century 21. I'd be the most smug bastard ever. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Under Under the Sea is what Sebastian now sings, as he burns in Hell for practicing Rastafari and not accepting Jesus. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 08/07/2026I already kind of knew this, but I feel like I should have really understood that if you loose 3 kilos in one week and you want to reward yourself, the reward should not be pizza. I gained back 3 kilos in one day, which is... God it wasn't even that much pizza. I have leftovers. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 08/07/2026I had to go on XFormerlyKnownAsTwitter this morning. I haven't used it in months, but I haven't unfollowed anyone or or done anything that would change the algorithm. My homepage looks like when you first log in. Just mass appeal funny videos and things. 020
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Taimi telling you that you have a new message from someone, when you don't, is a new low. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 05/07/2026I think board games should include apology cards in the bottom of the box for when the game is over. 100
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 04/07/2026Y'know if you could concerned citizens together and refuse to stop speaking in Snagglepuss voice until we have world peace, we could end all wars. Think how annoying that would get. Vexatious even. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 02/07/2026I forgot to bring my black lipstick on the nature hike and Goth Camp is off to a terrible start. 000
便便先生 @brontochuck.bsky.social · 02/07/2026I want to make a movie about two people who fall desperately in love only to discover the next day that she's a Jezebel blogger and he's an asshole comedian. I'm thinking of going with the name You've Got Male. 000
