I do trust there are good reasons not to have charged anyone in the murders during Metro Surge, but it does seem like it has just been too long
Brian
@bribri-singel.bsky.social
152 followers 293 following 1.4K posts
Lives in Minneapolis, does Math and spoon carving He/him/his
![A cartoon, by LUCI GUTIERREZ, of the blue Muppet Cookie Monster nervously about to eat a cookie that is covered in circuitry. This is followed by a page of text which reads,
COOKIE MONSTER TRIES TO MEET HIS A.I. MANDATE
BY YSABEL YATES
Me resident cookie expert on Ses-Lame Street, so me responsible for telling everyone about cookie how to cat cookie, how to make cookie, and, most important, how to slow down and enjoy cookie. But then me get new boss, Matt.
Matt here to "implement techno logical solutions that improve produc-tivity." Me don't understand. So me ask Big Bird for translation. Big Bird say this mean Cookie Monster has to use A.I. for cookie work now.
Me confused. Me know cookie in-side and out! Me never get complaint about cookie duties before. Now me not enough? Me spiral.
So me talk to Elmo. Elmo say not to worry because me cookie ex-perience still very valuable. Elmo also remind Cookie Monster that me always have good cookie idea, like making chocolate cookie, or coconut cookie, or oatmeal cookie, or tiny cookie, or macaroon. Wow! Me mak-
ing me hungry. Me feel better now. Next day, me record episode of weekly cooking show with Grover. In episode, me eat VERY BIG cookie. Everyone laugh. Me proud!
Then Matt ask why me not using A.I. to write script for cooking show. Matt say A.I. smarter and faster than Cookie Monster. Me explain that me already cookie expert, and me always done good job of bringing joy of cook ies to everybody. But Matt say that if
me no use A.I., me fired. Me panic! So, me try it. Me tell A.I.: "Write about cookies."
"When it comes to cookies, it's not about the taste it's about the experience."
What this mean? Taste of cookie very important to cookie experience. Me frustrated. Why Matt say robot would be good at cookie?
But me try again. This time, me tell A.L: "Write about cookies passionately!" "Some people only eat cookies on
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![[ last column of text from page ]
the weekends. I eat cookies all day long. Because the cookic grind never stops. Agree?"
Me horrified. Me have unique voice. And now me sound like not me. Now me sound like Matt on LinkedIn.
Me sad after doing this, so me eat cookie in bed.
Next morning, me tell Matt that A.1. not good at cookies. Matt say that not true. He say me need better "A.L. skills."
Me not sure about that. But me do need job. Me dream of free cookic for everyone! Just a dream, though. Me still have to pay for everything. Cook-ies. Doctor. Everything.
So me take online course. Me even subscribe to e-mail newsletter, so me can get free e-book called "50 A.I. Prompts to Succeed in Modern Busi-ness. But now me even more con-fused about "skills" part. Is me miss-ing something?
Me need to prompt A.1. Me ger that part. For example, me told A.1.: "Give me yummy cookic recipe!" But recipe me got was not yummy. A.1. say to set oven to 475 degrees. That's way too hot for cookies!
"You're right for calling that out. That's way too hot for cookies."
Me know! So now me spend more time fixing cookie recipe. How this make Cookie Monster more produc-tive? This only make Cookie Monster more sad.
Later that day, Matt invite whole team to town hall about "exciting A.I. revolution." Me surprised during Q. & A. to hear Oscar say, "You're not just a boss you're a visionary!" Oscar supposed to be grouch. Now he suck-up.
Afterward, me try to log in to lap-top. But me locked our! Turns out, me fired along with whole team. Except Oscar, who is new "Vice President of A.I. Integration." Me check LinkedIn and sce that Oscar change bio to "Prompt Engineer & Al Optimist." Then me puke.
Me sometimes think me went all in on wrong thing. Instead of cookie, maybe me should've studied business management, like Matt. Me would still have job. But then me would have to fire everyone. And me would never do actual monster.. that. Because me Cookie Monster.not
THE NEW YORKER OCTOBER 5 2026](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dxjcjcmdaon27g2jissl53yu/bafkreif6qxlddzc6drrue6ly2wcgpjr5o3a4zt7nt3kpm7atdg5xdoygym)
![Hello Bone Colleagues,
I have invented a new type of ankle and I'm very excited to show it to you. Early raccoon trials suggest a 60% increase in scurrying speed and dramatic increases in fine motor banditry. I know we are not supposed to create super raccoons, but I think you'll change your mind and professional ethics when you see how cute they are. I believe we are on the cusp of a new era in advanced human scurrying because if medical science has taught me anything, it's that improvements in raccoons correspond 1:1 to improvements in humans.
--
[My name]
Chief Bone Inventor
Chair, Department of Foot and Leg Innovation
Lord Mayor, Musculoskeletal Medicine
Hartford HealthCare,
The Bone & Joint Institute at Hartford Hospital.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:nycc7oummopgeptw555s6icn/bafkreicwbyb3msa5cnllbexjrxrmuw2s6qj36aiitv2tp5aos5nsz2pem4)
