capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 04/10/2026i don't think i've ever started a fantasy season this badly. 100
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 03/10/2026The sad feelings are fighting the numb feelings in my brain.static.klipy.comButters DanceAlt: Butters doing the Peanuts dance. 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Wanna wrap up your workday? Use those last few minutes before you leave to play your IT dept's fave new game: Windows 11 Flashin' The BIOS Challenge! Will it take 5 mins? Will it take 20? Who knows, but you better not leave until you're sure your computer will still turn on in the morning! 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Linked*n: here's someone you might know! Me: yeah, so? Linked*n: my algorithm says you were in the same room alot. Me: creepy...the samebcould be said for half my network, tho. 110
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 01/10/20268.2 cents per ounce vs. 32.5 cents per ounce. What is Rao's putting in there?! 100
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 28/09/2026If touchscreens and bathroom faucets don't recognize my hands, does that mean I'm dead or just a vampire? 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 26/09/2026TF you mean someone "cut the lock" off "my storage unit". Either the security cameras all over the place are a lie or someone working there is the thief, which, judging by Methanie's attitude at the front desk, could be the case. You had ONE job... This feels bad and I feel violated. 😞 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 25/09/2026If they just sold the cookie part of the Twix bar, I would buy those. 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Burger special: $5.99 Includes 1/4lb beef patties, 2 slices of cheese, pickles, onions, ketchup, and approximately half a jar of mayonnaise. They're going to make me hate mayo at this rate. 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I had a faint hope that I was wrong for not starting Xavier Worthy but so far...no difference. 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 14/09/2026How did Travis Kelce increase his speed ahead of the 2026 season? He changed his name to Travis Swift. 100
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Rams PR: Davis Allen was involuntarily moved from Tight End to Loose End after that hit 011
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 11/09/2026A&R guy: When do the Jonas Bros get a Super Bowl Halftime? They're ready! NFL exec: Sorry, you've heard of Bad Bunny, right? Big star, really big ...we have a random game in Melbourne with Jonas Bros name all over it tho... 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Mitch Wishnowsky is a bad name for a punter but a great name for one of those troll dolls with the poofy hair. 000
Reposted by capital bhalloweentime goblin 👻 @sasscarpone.bsky.social · 28/08/2026i will destroy the liberty bibberty 812013
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 08/09/2026live look at Jon Bois behind the keyboard:static.klipy.comDog Typing on LaptopAlt: Dog Typing on Laptop 001
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 05/09/2026is it possible to do things out of obligation and still have a Nice Time? 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 29/08/2026the new style came, the bass got deeper gave up the mic, bought you a beeper 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Of all the dumb things that happened today, waiting for the car wash to finish before checking to see if I had rolled up my windows is one of the dumbest. (Yes, the windows were rolled up. No, I don't know why my brain chose that particular time to check them.) 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Sunshine seems extra shiny today...did I clean my glasses with Armor-All? 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Woke up and did those goofy foot stretches from PE class and everything from the ankle down is ready for action. Wish it worked like that for the rest of me, though. 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Sometimes you just gotta post through the childhood trauma: "Carob is just as good as chocolate." "I know you want a popsicle but here, try this frozen half-banana with a beverage straw as the stick." 100
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 10/08/2026I wonder if a desk icemaker would increase my happiness... 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 07/08/2026RIP to Edward Ellington Humphrey III, better known as Humpty Hump, who famously got busy in a Burger King bathroom...but not recently enough to get credit for this... 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 29/07/2026"Pay us and you can pitch a tent on top of years of loogies and snot rockets from players on your favorite losing team!!" 110
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 29/07/2026nothing brings the sleep better than a good documentary with a lot of first-person interview segments. 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 21/07/2026I think I have a solution to the voter-ID obsessed: they can just show their own ID at the polls since they're so convinced they're on God's guestlist as VIPs in ClubMurica. We'll even give em a sticker for doing it. As long as they stop trying to make it mandatory for the rest of us. 100
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 21/07/2026I wish I knew more about how allergies work. Most years...no big deal...but the past 6-8 weeks I've been sneezy and my eyes itch and my nose leaks until my Claritin kicks in. I don't want there to be some kind of adult-onset pollen-allergy weirdness that I never had before... 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 21/07/2026While we're sitting around waiting for the end of democracy or whatever, wouldn't it be funny if we retconned that one nursery rhyme into "PLOP Goes The Weasel" for the next generation? 100
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Forgot salad ingredients while grocery shopping last week. And I know I put it on the list. Maybe it was subliminal cyclospora avoidance? But if making myself lists stops working, how am I supposed to remember stuff?? 110
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 18/07/2026weird dreams file: having lunch at a folding picnic table outside the super bowl with lady gaga (as one does?) and a long-retired joe montana walks by our tailgate. gaga flags him down and before i can say anything fanboy-embarrassing starts asking him for advice about staying cool in the pocket. 100
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 16/07/2026If "hello, please don't hang up the phone" is your opening pitch, guess what I'm going to do...? 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 16/07/2026Websites be like, "but first, you must complete the CAPTCHA..." 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Once again the northern East Coast has an open invitation to get over themselves...I think about New England cuisine about as often as I think of Old England cuisine, which is....rarely. 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 11/07/2026I know Taylor is getting all the headlines now but Taylor never muppetized herself for a video. Anni Piper did, though: www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfy_...youtube.com'Men Are Like Potato Chips' music videoYouTube video by Anni Piper 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 11/07/2026surprised myself today at subway: got a 6" BLT special, double bacon, add avocado, turned it into a meal with cookies and a drink, and got outta there for $9 and change. in a world where buying lunch *starts* at $10-15 now, that's pretty good. and yeah, it's subway, but i work in a food desert. 100
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Win or lose, I really want to know how much credit the little blue pill gets. 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 06/07/2026s/o to the Mexican dad and son leaving the grocery store with a cart of Corona Familiar and chelada mix. watched the son push the cart violently over the big braille curb mat and shake the beers up. hope they had time to put em in the freezer to disarm them before kickoff!static.klipy.comIll Have A Corona Shaken Not Stirred ShakenAlt: I'll Have A Corona Shaken Not Stirred 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 05/07/2026fireworks: :::boom::: :::boom::: :::boom::: me: now let me hear you say "wayoooo"! 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 03/07/2026[whole side at full-mast for national anthem, except one guy] TEAMMATE: GEORGE, WHY AREN'T YOU SALUTING? GEORGE: IN THE TEAM MEETING THEY TOLD US TO MICRODOSE OR THIS WOULD HAPPEN! 000
capital b @boomerdavis.bsky.social · 01/07/2026Amil said a lot with the line, "How we gonna get around on your bus pass?" ...motivational weed-carrier rap at its best, tbh. 000
