Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 26/09/2026NO GHOST OF LOUIS JORDAN STOP TORMENTING ME WITH MY DARKEST SECRETS TO THE TUNE OF AIN'T NOBODY HERE BUT US CHICKENS "♪ You know where the bodies are buried, ya know where the soil is thin, so kill yourself, end this now, take your loaded gun and, make it pow! ♪" 020
Reposted by BlarghaltFitswolf @fitswolf.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Meowth Expressions 🐱 #pokemon #animation #meowth 4768811740
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 24/09/2026my ongoing principle when it comes to writing is that when it comes to social dynamics a well-written all-female cast will naturally end up converging around Golden Girls or Friendship is Magic and an all-male cast will end up converging around Aqua Teen Hunger Force 010
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 24/09/2026i'd make a terrible woman. i either know too much or not enough battletech lore 120
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 22/09/2026implementing this would be a causative factor for an American May '68, at minimum 134
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Starship Troopers is way more enjoyable when you realize that the Bugs are the Road Runner and humanity is Wile E. Coyote 120
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 21/09/2026a lot of words have been written over "why fascists can't make good art" and I think when you get right down to it it's because most creative types are autistic, and there's basically no group right-wingers hate more than autistic people, mostly due to their innate refusal or inability to conform 220
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 20/09/2026typa shit you spawn in Monster Rancher 2 from like a CD of Myst 030
Reposted by BlarghaltBlarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 10/05/2026I've always kind of enjoyed the idea that Wakanda's actual strength isn't its technology or that its king is a superpowered furry, it's always been its incomprehensibly vast network of spies. The king of wakanda can make one phone call and every head of state on Earth is assassinated within a day. 101
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 19/09/2026The Handmaid's Tale ascending to become part of the pantheon of Gutless Liberalism is especially funny if you know what kind of writer Margaret Atwood actually is, which is a person that needs a sane editor behind her at all times with a cattle prod or else she immediately goes off the rails 140
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026in the last quarter century there's been this development among liberal types of a kind of "shadow" moralist ideology that the voter must be strategic with their votes & settle for less, but the problem is that this ideology only exists in their heads. there is zero theory behind it 120
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026for the drink from the lathe of Lugia Ballin is to sup upon the grass of Nirvana and drink the 108,108 wines brewed by the Buddha himself, arms atimber in nothing but his plain robe and Chicago Bulls hat 030
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026when #lugiballin was explained to the Amitābha Buddha, black tears oozed from his eyeballs and where the tears kissed the earth there grew the first pool toy fetishists 062
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026if #lugiaballin were a body, then Kefka Palazzo observed but a mere toenail and it broke his mind into irreversible madness, which is to say it set him on the golden path to enlightenment before he was destroyed 020
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026#lugiaballin is the formless freedom, the liberation of self that unlocks mew under the truck and four-point throws 030
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Salafi mystics will tell you that Ho-Oh themselves was merely a shard/avatar of the Prophet Muhammed's rainbow radiance and further than Ho-Oh was capable of balling as Lugia, but so trapped in their quasi-monotheism that can refuse to accept the documentation that Ho-Oh does not comprehend spheres 020
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026if you meet Lugia, ballin' on the court — dunk on him! 010
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026only one being understood the essence of lugia ballin, and it was the vast intelligence that inhabited Jiddu Krishnamurti's body 010
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 14/09/2026what is the essence #lugiaballin? to rip the gods from their thrones and paint their sovereign seats crimson with their own blood, to slay ignorance with dread, to break the spines of every grinning demon and wipe away forever their empty smiles but it's mostly about Lugia fucking ballin 031
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 14/09/2026why do centrists and democratic loyalists cling to Vote Blue No Matter who as a position, even as it becomes increasingly indefensible? they don't want to think about how our current political crisis leads to civil war, mostly. they refuse to conceive of a political problem resolved extrajudicially. 130
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 14/09/2026this is completely insane of course but one of the reason modern centrists are Like This is that by and large modern liberals/centrists don't, or refuse to, think about war 282
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 13/09/2026the reason trans people, and basically any group on the margins for that matter, have gotten lot less polite in the last few years is that they witnessed, with their own eyes, the Democratic Party commit mass murder of a whole segregated people and called anyone who protested it a terrorist 140
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Charlie Kirk, in the Chinese Lesbian Afterlife: so they only play the Sonic Adventure 1 soundtrack up here huh Prime Minister Josip Broz Tito: that's right charlie 042
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026video on Space Youtube titled only EATEN_THE_M_BEANS.MP4 and it's a 2 minute long clip in 144p quality of what appears to be Samus Aran sucking down whole cans of beans like jello shots. There is a layer of empty cans all around her in the ship cockpit that come up to her knees 012
Reposted by Blarghalt🦀 YORA 🦀 @yoracrab.bsky.social · 08/09/2026courage the cowardly dog 220282077786
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 08/09/2026this might be my most unhinged post in a discord ever 1105
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 07/09/2026I've never heard of this conference before and I'm not the kind of person to make accusations of fed-ery lightly but I took one look at their actual web page and the kind of "speakers" lined up and not only is this obviously an op it's a particularly lazy one 152
Reposted by Blarghaltpuppy, wolfie, laika! 🔜 BLFC @kasvikoira.bsky.social · 07/09/2026i got that looney tunes son. he came out the womb with white gloves. i drop an anvil on his head and it don't do shit. i put his ass in archery and the bow rebounded and shot him through the wall, now i have to pay for it. i put him in piano lessons and that little bitch came back with piano teeth 061
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 06/09/2026smoked that shit that spawned a spinning green crystal above my head 220
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 06/09/2026it's time the white man learned which slurs Lavos taught mankind 000
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 04/09/2026"Boy, this desert is super easy to get through. All the enemies are wimps!" The deceptively powerful Cactuar: 030
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 03/09/2026saw my friend eat a volleyball, said she was gonna "desegregate" it, she shit it out whole and all the patches were grey. i didn't sleep for six days 000
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 03/09/2026smoking that shit that gave courage the cowardly dog panphobia 210
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 03/09/2026anyone can do Galactic Wrestling moves on local deer populations but it takes a true bald-balled motherfucker to teach a doe to do the Great Wall Drop on ICE dudes 010
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 03/09/2026fucked a genie and his asshole sucked that shit smooth off. now i'm like a ken doll down there 030
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 03/09/2026wile e cyote snoozing in a hotel bed surrounded by sex toys and he wakes up next to the roadrunner in bed who kisses him, goes meep meep, and bolts out of the room fast enough to toss up the covers of the bed that reveals wile e has a lit stick of dynamite in his ass which levels the floor he's on 062
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 03/09/2026rolling up to the gender clinic in a rolls royce, strutting with a bulgarian prostitute on each arm and slamming a hundred grand on the counter demanding they give me a pussy that looks like the inside of a fridge in a horror game. my genitals must strike fear into leon kennedy, or nothing matters 062
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 01/09/2026there are deer grazing in lush patches of grass in inland antarctica that do not appear on satellite imagery. flowers bloom from their eye sockets, so saturated that your mind comprehends new colors. if you consume their flesh you weep with the intensity of a parent losing a child. it's kinda gamey 071
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 01/09/2026Station Square Seal Team Six tracks Eggman down to his Sonic Adventure jungle lair for doing Wet 'n Wild Mega 9/11 and he tries to convince them Sonic doesn't hold a grudge longer than three months for anything villainous he did so why should they 140
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 01/09/2026an underdiscussed phenomenon is that since 10/7 there has in fact a nonzero amount of american zionist jews who have, through letting social media and propaganda fry their brains, turned themselves into israelis who live in american zip codes 110
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 31/08/2026People talk a lot about how Dungeons and Dragons or (insert basically any IP) sucks now because of Critical Role or whatever and I don't even necessarily disagree with that, but the story of DnD et all is basically the same for a lot of scenes: autists, eventually, got outnumbered. 170
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 30/08/2026birds, or as my ex-Black Hundreds great-grandfather called them, "sky jews", 010
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 30/08/2026sweaty bara alligator cowboys are converging on YOUR 🫵 location 031
Reposted by Blarghaltminotaur cock enthusiast @stickyfeathers.bsky.social · 24/08/2026My, what a wondrous fursona... GUARDS!!! GO THROUGH THEIR MEDIA TAB AND REPOST EVERYTHING 012347
Reposted by Blarghaltdisc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 30/08/2026Okay I looked it up. “gringo” is a bigoted slur against spicy white folks. 632581
Blarghalt @blarghalt.bsky.social · 30/08/2026"There was a profound, hopeless sadness to him. A man destined to die, but denied the comfort of a bullet. I've read Confessions of a Mask thirty seven times and I discover new things through every reading. We are, from birth, doomed." Inuyasha: Kagome what the fuck are you talking about 061
![[Hitler is about to blow his brains out in the Führerbunker. Eva Braun is already slumped across the couch, blood oozing from the side of her head as Hitler places the cyanide capsule in his mouth and puts his Walther to his temple]
(The most Texan man you've ever seen materializes in front of Hitler. He is so shocked his cyanide capsule tumbles out of his mouth)
THE LIVING SPIRIT OF TEXAS: well hot damn mr. hitler, looks like you've gotten yourself into a whole heap of trouble. now i know you wanna get to killin' yourself to escape the wrath of them commie fellers two blocks away, but me n' the boys been thinking instead I summon several thousand gallons of good ol' black gold from the depths of the Earth.
[oil begins to pool in hitler's private room. what starts as confusion turns to terror for Hitler as oil begins to flood in like a 3rd-class cabin in the Titanic]
THE LIVING SPIRIT OF TEXAS: And this ain't no normal oil, heck naw. second it touches ya it's gonna turn to rubbery goop and make you a gooey femboy fox-thing. [ruffles through pocket as oil pools around their ankles, producing a small parchment that they squint at] Hmmmm, note from Sam Houston here says it's a "closed species", whatever that means.
[crumples the paper and tosses it over their shoulder. it sinks into the rising oil with sizzling bubbles. Hitler is now desperately standing on the top of his couch trying to escape the rising oil]
Whoo boy, you're more screwed than a black bolt at a Klan meetin'! [tips hat] anyway, i'll be moseying off. gotta force-fem the buddha with latex. you know how it is. seeya! [they step into a portal. What appears to be several incredibly muscular tigers in texas oil baron clothes can be briefly seen before the portal snaps shut]
[the oil continues to rise. Hitler tries jumping to his desk, only to slip and fall into the sticky, rubbery oil. he lands face-first, and begins to scream]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:xvq6bmq4mnsd6jpnzmmq54jf/bafkreienghzeubwmtdsdpiz3eyi4yzl5unmrt27i3ttazop76sodi4rnry)
