iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

The Seattle Mariners and Toronto Blue Jays are cosmically linked. We can't seem to quit one another. Soul mates floating across the universe in constant battle. The Mariners absolutely must sweep the Blue Jays if they want to make the playoffs. Call your love ones. Hug your kids. The end is near

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Yeah, I think if anything this is them “doing him a favor” letting him chase a ring. But also the Reds are cheap so it might be that. But also most baseball teams are cheap so it really could be anything

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Talking about Friedl obviously

010

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Wow, trying to upstage the Kastner Cup now, are we Adrian?????

030

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I’m all for Cal Raleigh smacking lasers over the right field wall for the next month. You will have to hold me at gunpoint to watch every game though

020

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Alright, now that bullshit is out of the way, if they come back from Boston any less than 4-2 the season is still over and we still all fell for it again.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Alright. I’m trying this new thing where I remember I can control my own emotions and not let outside factors affect my mood. So let’s play a game of positivity. Winning a series against CHC is good, winning a series against PHI would be good.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

My friend, we’re Mariners fans. The joke is ALWAYS on us

120

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

My Quant (it was Ian, Ian is my quant) told me if he keeps this pace up he’ll finish with “like 103” home runs. #Historic

020

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

I’m sorry but if Cal Raleigh is actually back, that might save the season. 0-7 6Ks and a walk over the next two days it is then 👍👍

140

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Wow a huge win. You have to think that soccer in East Texas still has so far to go before their academies can compete with MLS equivalents

020

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Brother thought the Ohio River was the Hudson

100

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Can’t even be happy the Sounders scored because of how pissed off I am that Cincinnati was just called “the east coast” fucking reel it in man

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

But just in case you were curious, the deal is rumored to be around 7,869,276,000 Iraqi Dinar

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Idk man haven’t heard much about the Internet since the Dot Com bubble burst *puts hand to ear* Ahh. Well then

050

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

well it's been an hour over here and just crickets so you have to assume so

000

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Think they're all over on Threads, pal

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

I went back to watch Jerry's press availability after they lost in the ALCS, and just want to appreciate how funny the barista who made his coffee that day was. Choosing to believe the cartoonish "Enjoy!" was directly pointed towards us.

060

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Shitty baseball team. Shitty week. Shitty month. Shitty year. I'm off to touch some grass, or something.

020

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

The Seattle Mariners have dominated the Houston Astros for basically two calendar years, including going 9-5 in Houston over that stretch. The Mariners absolutely must sweep the Astros this weekend if they want any sniff of the postseason. Call your loved ones. Make your peace. The end is near.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I unironically texted a friend "Maybe this season is the wake up call the organization needs" before remembering that I have said that going into the last five off-seasons.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Baseball may be dead or dying, the Mariners may be toast, and I may feel more disillusioned at the general state of things than I ever have been, but I got a really good chuckle out of "Paul Sewald: Toronto Blue Jay"

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Here, let me translate this headline into Buckeye for you: “The University of Michigan will replace traditional letter grades for some first-semester freshmen with a pass/fail-style grade, in an effort to foster the culture of cowardice led by Kyle Whittingham since his arrival in Ann Arbor”

000

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Dammit! This backfired on me!

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Do you really want to know who the most overrated baseball player is??? That’s right, it’s your favorite player.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Ross Bjork hop on meet at midfield forums you coward

000

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

I'm sure this sucks. I don't care. I had to say something, even though it doesn't feel like enough or properly convey how mad I am about god damn near everything lately. But anyway I'm going to the game tomorrow so if you see me say hi. GOMS as always onelinetostadium.substack.com/p/an-existen...

onelinetostadium.substack.com

An Existential Crisis

"If the Wind blows, If I hit a squall, Allow the ground to find it's brutal way to me"

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life, brother

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

It’s hard to properly convey the amount of mental anguish this put me in. Three day long existential crisis and right now I’m starting at three paragraphs I’ve re-written 8 times.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

SOUNDERS OFF THE BALL AGAIN, ON OUR WAY TO MAKE IT 10

000

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Pretty confusing and scary day for people who get Hugh Weber and Wade Webber confused, huh?

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