iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Yelp review guys are the worst of society. The good news is that it’s very easy to read all of their stupid reviews

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

That’s right, Jerry. Keep smashing that big red button big fella

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Would be very funny if they went down this year lol

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Wow, trying to upstage the Kastner Cup now, are we Adrian?????

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I’m all for Cal Raleigh smacking lasers over the right field wall for the next month. You will have to hold me at gunpoint to watch every game though

020

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Alright. I’m trying this new thing where I remember I can control my own emotions and not let outside factors affect my mood. So let’s play a game of positivity. Winning a series against CHC is good, winning a series against PHI would be good.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

My Quant (it was Ian, Ian is my quant) told me if he keeps this pace up he’ll finish with “like 103” home runs. #Historic

020

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

I’m sorry but if Cal Raleigh is actually back, that might save the season. 0-7 6Ks and a walk over the next two days it is then 👍👍

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Wow a huge win. You have to think that soccer in East Texas still has so far to go before their academies can compete with MLS equivalents

020

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Can’t even be happy the Sounders scored because of how pissed off I am that Cincinnati was just called “the east coast” fucking reel it in man

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

But just in case you were curious, the deal is rumored to be around 7,869,276,000 Iraqi Dinar

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

I went back to watch Jerry's press availability after they lost in the ALCS, and just want to appreciate how funny the barista who made his coffee that day was. Choosing to believe the cartoonish "Enjoy!" was directly pointed towards us.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

The Seattle Mariners have dominated the Houston Astros for basically two calendar years, including going 9-5 in Houston over that stretch. The Mariners absolutely must sweep the Astros this weekend if they want any sniff of the postseason. Call your loved ones. Make your peace. The end is near.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Baseball may be dead or dying, the Mariners may be toast, and I may feel more disillusioned at the general state of things than I ever have been, but I got a really good chuckle out of "Paul Sewald: Toronto Blue Jay"

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Here, let me translate this headline into Buckeye for you: “The University of Michigan will replace traditional letter grades for some first-semester freshmen with a pass/fail-style grade, in an effort to foster the culture of cowardice led by Kyle Whittingham since his arrival in Ann Arbor”

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Do you really want to know who the most overrated baseball player is??? That’s right, it’s your favorite player.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Ross Bjork hop on meet at midfield forums you coward

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Pretty confusing and scary day for people who get Hugh Weber and Wade Webber confused, huh?

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Rest of the Season is a laugh. Honestly makes me exponentially more excited about it, no expectations! I hope they start drawing 15k a game and you can hear Brian yelling from the stands

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Didn't need that reminder of how much everything sucks now, but fun to relive anyways

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

(Adrian leaked this to Sportico so you aren’t paying attention to them getting absolutely pummeled by Toluca by the way)

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

I regret to inform you all that I woke up this morning compelled to write something about the Seattle Mariners.

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Wait a minute. The Dodgers moved to California????

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Another really successful trip to Portland (shithole) disappointed to not get a result but got to do one of my favorite things in the world (Creating an arch enemy out of a Providence Park security guard, leading me to feeling more alive than I’ve felt in months)

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Just admit the owner is broke, the coach stinks, the GM is a bozo, and move on man. This shit sucks

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Reposted by colton

Mark Kastner @mkstnr.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

@grok can you make timber Joey oiled up and sexy

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Wow, I had no idea the Apple deal included exclusive rights to broadcasting familial disputes

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Genuinely haven’t been this excited for a Sounders game in years, purely because there are no expectations, just vibes

020

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Playing the songs of the people on TouchTunes of a Timbers bar the night before >>>>>

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Well, it had been a while since the police chief was roiled in scandal. Nature is healing etc etc

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

I fucking hate this stupid fucking baseball team

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

I can’t think of an away match I’ve looked forward to more because of how rancid the vibes have been. Highly recommend buying tickets to the show

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

YO HO HO, OFF WE GO WHAT DO YOU KNOW, WE’VE LOST FIVE IN A ROW

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Topps Chrome blasters might be loaded

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colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Antonio Mohamed reading this:

030

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

17 people are gonna be in the away end in Portland lol

050

colton @bittersnail.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Just gotta draw on the road and win at home. Sounders are going to be just fine!

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