iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

there are a couple of snippets that i will post later (on a separate thread likely cause it will include a my own commentary) but as it stands, this is the end of this (very long) thread. i hope it was useful/helpful!

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

“days like bi visibility day is actually so, so important bc when we show up, we affirm that we exist and that directly combats bi erasure”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

“using the word [bisexual] is a radical act for me”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

and that’s just much more difficult so we set our sights on these very low bars and then what happens is these other identities get oppressed in the process.”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

very normative, government standardised beneficial way.” to which jen replies: “there is an amazing word for that—homonormativity, which i love. because it rly is just like assimilation is not the goal, equality is not necessarily the goal, reinvention is actually the goal +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

“…and i think it’s partially that monosexism you’re talking about we can see in the gay rights movement of making at the front of fight for rights, rights to marriage is very much rooted in ‘see! we’re just like you, we want to pick one person to share our life with in this +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

“…because the fear of bisexuality is so tied up with the fear of non-monogamy, like they are on the same team, just as many oppressed identities are on the same team”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

“and when i read that stat [which indicates that 89% of bi women are in monogamous relationships] i was like ‘oh that’s good that that’s out there to counteract the stereotype. at the same time i was like i’m part of that 11%, it’s almost kinda like a rebuttal like ‘here, see +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

coming out scene in my life, like it’s unfortunately a part of the bisexual reality. & same for people who are non-binary with regards to gender bc you can’t see it visually. i identify as a woman but i also identify as non-binary but people don’t know that unless i tell them!”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

that the writers used to shy away from it because it’s like ‘show, don’t tell!’ and you don’t wanna always have a cheesy coming out scene where you wanna just say how someone identifies, but the fact is like, if i wanna tell someone i’m bi in my life, i have to have a cheesy +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

hooking up with multiple genders and not using the word ‘bisexual’. and that word was so important for me to just be able to put myself in it as like, that’s an identity that’s not a behaviour and those things are separate. i’m seeing more shows do that now and i get the feeling+

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

‘act on it’. and you’re so right that it is linked to this idea of it being a behaviour, which the media is the one responsible like entirely for that perception because even when they thought they were showing bisexual representation, they were often just showing someone +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

“i have been asking on my instagram for bisexual people to share their stories, and i’ve asked if you are a bisexual person in a relationship that presents as straight, have you come out, are you out to people in your life, and so many people say no bc they’re not trying to +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

lost my virginity yet with a woman so even though these feelings have always been there and they seem to be getting stronger, i’m not really bisexual!’”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

continually diminishing my own bisexuality to myself where i felt like i don’t wanna be attention seeking by making a big deal of it, of coming out, and i think of how you said of like, we think bisexuality is a verb rather than an identity, so i was like ‘well i’m not–i haven’t+

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

you’re making it up’ you know, these kinds of things, all my internalised biphobia, and therefore also led to other women being far less interested in me bc of my track record of dating men. not coming out had a lot to do with kind of hiding within straightness and also +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

coming out, right? and then it created its own vicious cycle of the longer i put it off, examining or admitting this part of myself, even to myself, let alone coming out, the less confidence i had dating women, the more i was sort of gaslighting myself saying ‘oh it’s not real +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

‘well shit, i don’t wanna be one of those people’. i was so clearly always surrounding myself with queer community but because i was dating men, diminishing that i belonged as anything but an ally. if i just kept dating men, whom i was also interested in, what was the point of +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

“and for me it was often, a lot of my queer friends, i don’t think they ever meant harm intentionally, but why i diminished in myself [my bisexuality] because they would bemoan the confused women who were just experimenting on them and would drop them for men, i was like +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

cares about. that was kind of why i felt like i had to be self aware in the intro of my book, to be like ‘i get it. u think everyone’s bi but that’s actually bad and it really made it so that i couldn’t come out for a while.”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

“i really thought that ‘everyone knows this, whatever, everyone’s bisexual!’ and that’s a really common thing that people say, that everyone’s bi, and it has this effect of silencing you and making you think that if you talk about it, you’re talking about something that nobody +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

and i think it is very similar with claiming a bisexual identity, and all of these things relate to ‘we don’t wanna seem like we’re asking for attention’.”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

if you have more sex, something will just click into place, and you’ll get it. you’ll get yourself now. assault or other words used to describe sexual assault are hard to claim. the title of the roxane gay anthology ‘not that bad’, it feels like you always wanna downplay it, +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

“i felt like i did put myself in those situations and it was because i cared about sexual exploration and also because i was just missing, something was missing, and i thought sex would help me figure it out. i think that was really the crux of it for me. i just felt like maybe +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

assaulted a week later, but the chain of events was certainly linked, and i think that’s a hard thing to talk about (…)”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

happen to you’, and it wasn’t until i was writing the memoir years later and was really digging into my still very much present internalised biphobia that i realised ‘wow, i am these statistics’ and its not this direct cause & effect that i had sex with a woman therefore i got +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

and then afterwards i looked myself in the mirror and said ‘what did you expect? you’re attracted to men & women, you’re polyamorous, you’re kinky, what’d you expect you greedy slut?’ i had internalised that to the point where i was like, ‘that wasn’t assault, that didn’t even +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

shocked (that they were) higher in bisexual women across the board. i remember feeling really shocked by that and also, like you said, oddly seen and connecting the dots of how my experience being assaulted was the week i lost my virginity with a woman, and it was not with her, +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

“i didn’t know either until i was actually researching my memoir and looked up the rates of sexual assault, looked up the rates of substance abuse, eating disorders, mental illness, for all these things that were happening in my story, to contextualise them and was personally +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

a lot of sexual especially in comparison to other women that i knew, but i didn’t know why and i also would never have put it together that it might have had to do with me being bisexual.”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

general closeting that happens to the wider group. for example, nearly 1/2 of bisexual women are sexual assault survivors compared to 17% of straight women & 13% of lesbians, that’s more than double. that was consistent with my personal experience. i felt like i had experienced +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

really take a toll on you. i always thought it was my fault, like i thought i was making a big deal out of stuff but when i started looking into bi privilege (& if it is real), i found that there are a lot of really alarming statistics about bisexual people as a result of this +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

“i have so much straight privilege still, even being in a visibly queer relationship, that i still get to access, and for most of my life i did get a lot of straight privilege, but the whole time i was closeted and the whole time i didn’t know who i was, and those things really +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

“monosexism is a not a system that i knew about before i started reading bi critical theory, because it is not really something anyone talks about or cares about, but is actually very related to non-monogamy and the potential to have multiple partners (…)”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

partnered with at any given moment.’”

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

“julia serano is a bi writer and activist who wrote ‘in other words, the bi in bisexual does not merely refer to the types of people that i am sexual with, but the fact that both the straight and queer worlds view me in two very different ways, depending on whom i happen to be +

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

highly recommend this episode of helping existing featuring bisexual author of the book ‘greedy’, jen winston podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/h...

podcasts.apple.com

Help Understanding Bisexuality Better—Author Jen Winston

Podcast Episode · Help Existing · 07/06/2022 · 43m

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

idk if “brain skill consuming work” makes any sense but at least u get the gist (of both what im trying to say as well as how dysfunctional i feel 😭)

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

sick so off from work today & cannot be bothered to do any brain skill consuming work so i’ll be crossposting an (incomplete) thread from twt

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

ure right and also, ure kind of an icon for ur efficient cross posting 😭

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

happy new year!! i’ve been away from bi account since at least new years and not been on here during the same period until today & immediately want to exit too 😭

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

every day that app sinks deeper into the depths of absolute dogshittery

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

unfortunately logged in to see t*lia bhatt on my tl, it’s NOT a good night

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

they’re calling kenji yoshino’s paper “incel speak” on twitter

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alizeh @bisexualarchive.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

hiiii!!! soo good to see here after losing u to mastodon 🥲 hope things have been well for u 🌻

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Reposted by alizeh

Nat @medusawept.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

Since people are giving Depp v Heard a second look in light of the smear campaign against Blake Lively I feel the need to remind everyone that one of the jurors in Depp v Heard was an actual imposter and nobody cared. That trial was rigged regardless of her evidence.

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