Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 20/06/2026What if you do the blade runner thing and put a clear raincoat over your slutty little fit? 130
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 05/01/2026That’s no shoveler! This is a shoveler! (I left the “breeding adult” in just for you) 020
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 22/10/2025(No, everyone owns both a car and a golf cart. Houses start at $500k) - the cocktail menu 000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 10/10/2025My car shopping strategy is to look through the IMCdB page for cars used in Crash (1996) 020
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 10/07/2025London has the most insane cigarettes I’ve ever smoked (leaf-wrapped crushes that taste like Pepperidge Farm Milano’s) 110
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 20/06/2025Forever branded as a sculpture appreciator (Tower of the Sun - both deeply symbolic and a dick joke) 110
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 13/03/2025Cute girl at roof party: what do you think of that house at 24th and Dolores? Me: I hate it. Awkward massing, out of proportion to neighboring buildings, like Scandinavian minimalism meets SF McMansion Girl: …my fiancé is the architect 020
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 11/03/2025Saw this shirt earlier and thought of you (you’re my toxic burial bro friend) 000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 15/02/2025Regretfully I am once again thinking about Sam’s iconic double polo look 000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 14/11/2024Just learned that some people didn’t use inside recess for constructing catapults and other launchers out of these?? 100
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 28/01/2024No one’s surprised that I’m having a great time reading what is essentially Bourdieu for Babies 000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 20/01/2024I love the designer who just slapped another TM on to show they meant business 010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 03/01/2024Feels auspicious that my new job is only a block from this landmark 020
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 01/01/2024Mad respect to anyone who makes latex clothing. I’m butchering these seams 250
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 01/12/2023Props to "Whistleblower Software" for an absolute coup on company naming SEO 000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 01/12/2023Imagine discovering fraud or sexual harassment at your workplace and needing to report it through the "#NotMe" app or "[ass down] Face Up" 110
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 09/11/2023I was also “dripping with excitement” to see the jizz ears irl 020
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 11/10/2023It’s unfair that other people get to put advice in their last names. Maybe I should change mine to Stopscratching 010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 23/09/2023Tired: eating borax for health benefits Wired: eating borax because it tastes great 010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 17/09/2023even tripping balls at 1:30am can’t keep me from some birding 130
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 11/09/2023Why is this pizza parlor laying down one of the best deconstructed club sets I’ve heard in years? 030
