Sign in

Zach

@birdbxtch.bsky.social
57 followers 80 following 413 posts

provincial, vacuous

PostsRepliesMedia
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Even goth weeb ravers bfs need to sleep
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Visiting Muir Woods after growing up in Humboldt is like how I imagine a French person eating a Safeway croissant feels
000
Reposted by Zach
ILLBRAD 🔞 @blasternation.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
CHANGE MY PIK UP SMACK MY BULB ORP
Edited screenshot of red Pikmin but with the Prodigy: The Fat of the Land album logo on it.
1979332716
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Yeah I’m into the fiber arts (beans, chard, whole wheat bread)
031
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Fellas, when you’re on the shitter and your girlfriend sends you a BBC Archive video for “The Village with a Single Loo” what does she mean?
120
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Call me Microsoft Excel the way I’m spreading on these sheets
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
I made a pair of pants and I’m distressed to report that going carefully and not cutting corners matters
120
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Asian dad in El Cerrito is telling his daughter that ten to the ninth is a million and you can’t multiply zero by zero. Poor girl’s going to need so much Kumon
030
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Of course my mom leaves me with an errand to drop off an extinct coconut shell for her friend in Oakland
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Putting the babe in beyblade
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
In honor of Pride month I will not be throwing straight while disc golfing (27 over par)
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Yeah my girl’s a tomato, she lycopene (like a peen)
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
overheard a blow job described as “Chicago style” (“clanging between his legs like a church bell”) and I have so many more questions
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Reading the Wikipedia article on limerence like I’m on Erowid trying to see how long my trip will last
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Starting an app called Polymarket for betting on how long it takes for poly relationships to implode
020
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Yeah I’m into BDSM Burlingame Dublin San Mateo
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
Going to make “The Guy Who Drinks Beer from a Can with a Straw” my whole personality
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
Training my neck to wear heavier chains to the club
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Put in my two weeks notice. Love to blow up my life a little bit as a treat
130
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Buca di Beppo is still the best name for a cat I’ve ever heard
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
Vallejo, the Hudson Valley of the Bay Area
021
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
Oldest I’ve felt all week: went to a birthday picnic for a zoomer and there wasn’t a single alcoholic drink among >20 people
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
Angelica from Rugrats dabbing
110
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
They’ve got Withnail and I at the club now
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
Learning which of my friends are the real ones based on how excited or scared they are when I tell them “this is the first time I’ve done a u-turn in my life” or “I’ve never driven at night before”
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
Was Sarah Palin the original office siren? Discuss
000
Reposted by Zach
J.M. (But also Nemo) - writing comms open @alamhigo.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
Today is the last day that you can repost this image
32514714731
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
going to insane spas with my crush in Korea & planning a birding trip with my fave gabber DJ when she's in town - 2026 is really shaping up to be a killer year
130
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
Highlights from my crush’s Cleveland spa day: - cigar case is an OXO storage container next to a bunch tylenol and cheap wine - big pickle plates - outdoor lounge just has 3 bandsaws chilling - platza sign up is a clipboard on a coatrack with pencils in a rusty PBR bucket
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
“After all that processing with the therapists I was dating I really needed that methamphetamine phase to get back in touch with my id”
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
Hell yeah I therapied my therapist friend. Like, his relationship with his now-fiancé is even more caring and understanding? Come to me for whatever you’re being a little bitch about I guess
110
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
I have been tasked by my ex-friend's sister with buying Korean bras for her massive honkers in exchange for travel recs (she slept with Sky Ferreira's boyfriend while teaching English in Korea and all of tumblr went after her)
120
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
Putting on a 3 hour DJ Fart in the Club mix to set the mood for my Christmas beans
110
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
Why did I cum and then develop a deep craving for cinnamon rolls???
110
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
I start seeing a girl and suddenly 2/4 exes are texting me out of nowhere
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
Aaa going to my new crush’s house to spend the night snogging. Of course there will be a bird walk as foreplay
140
Reposted by Zach
Celeste Labedz @celestelabedz.bsky.social · 06/12/2025
You are ABSOLUTELY NOT going to regret listening to this bird:
6333871509
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 06/12/2025
Do Bjarke Ingels next
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 04/12/2025
I love how me and my brother sign off a hang with “good luck with the daddy issues and the mommy issues”
110
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
Highly recommend sharing that hello kitty is not a cat (she’s a furry) with the women in your life
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
Real businesses in my friend’s Portland neighborhood: - Jezebel’s Last Surviving Merrygoround (coffee) - Dr. Tongue’s Shop (toys) - Cars and Swedish Meatballs (clothing)
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 28/11/2025
My grandmother, lying through her teeth: good job on the lasagna
010
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 26/11/2025
Literally how Thomas Pynchon names his characters
040
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
more like Daniel Ick
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
It’s nice to log on and see a correct take
120
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
Snortland Railblazers hehe
000
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
Grandma updates: She admitted to being intimidated by me when I was a smart kid, she hopes she can still be in the octogenarian hiking club when she turns 90 next year, man there’s so much generational trauma around discouraged musical careers, Oregon berries really do hit different
130
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 23/11/2025
In retrospect drinking two cups of coffee, taking adderall and draining my serotonin was obviously going to have me “what am I doing with my life” spiraling at 4am
020
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 23/11/2025
“taxiing” just doesn’t sit right with me as a sequence of letters
100
Zach @birdbxtch.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Me, flirting: have you read Jo Freeman’s essay The Tyranny of Structurelessness?
171