iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 05/10/2026

Oh goddamnit, it looks like no pharmacy anywhere in NYC has estrogen patches in stock, or at least I can't find any. Fuck.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 05/10/2026

Anything hanging in the closet stayed organized for the move, thank god, and I did specifically pack a week’s worth of seasonally appropriate outfits separately, but oy.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 05/10/2026

Starting to process my way through the poorly sorted pile of clothes that previously lived in drawers or, well, piles pre-move. They weren’t well organized in the first place, so this is gonna be a lot of work.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 05/10/2026

This one trick makes my new apartment not feel so much like a hotel room. Now I have another fifteen prints to hang...

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 04/10/2026

Honestly, I think she needs to be confronted with the reality of my existence and identity more directly and more frequently, and outside of the context of my still deeply flawed mother whining about wanting her kids together for Christmas, which is not the real issue here.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 04/10/2026

I came out of the haze of my primarily move induced breakdown this afternoon to email my sister again, playing up the legitimate angle that I want to be part of her and her family’s life. It was heartfelt and real, but I accidentally sent it from the explicitly Beth account. Oops.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

Your girl should never ever try to move, even with movers, without a friend there to make sure I don’t push myself too far and _snap_.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

I proceeded to break a lightbulb while assembling a new lap - there are no overhead lights - then broke down crying, calmed down, tried to find something to eat, straight bawled at the idea of ordering a milkshake, then broke down yet again soon after trigged directly by the lost earring.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

I have learned lessons from my last move. I intended specifically to avoid the mad dash to unpack everything in 24 hours. But various things I want now are scattered through so many boxes that the end result feels the same.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

Right now, I feel like Luthen Rael, knowing I will inevitably die before I see the future I'm trying to build through rage and dark tactics, but rather than that being the end of the Empire for me, it's the end of the infinite moving boxes surrounding me in my new apartment. Augh.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

Where's my convenient army of helpful elves when I need them...

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

Good news! The movers are done! I live in Brooklyn now! Bad news OH MY GOD SO MANY BOXES.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

The guy organizing the movers asked me where I'm from, prompted by my pictures of Piran in Slovenia. I knew this moving company are heavily south Slavic, so I should have expected that recognition. Heh. Anyway, en route to the new place now!

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

Nail fixed, repiercing scheduled for Friday. Then I thought I'd lost the old keys only to discover I'd forgotten this skirt has pockets.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

I did not find the earring, then the movers showed up early. Which gave me time to sneak over to my old place and get the nail fixed. Woo!

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

Now to strip the bed, bag up blankets separately from dirty sheets, bag up pillows, maybe find the earring while I'm there...?

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

I've got day one electronics boxed and labeled, along with power strips and chargers I already brought over. Everything I'm not bringing over today for whatever reason is cordoned off in a closed walk in closet. Fridge and freezer labeled as ignore, same with vacuum.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

On the upside, cat transport yesterday went well - sympathetic and friendly driver, got Audrey into her temporary hotel/large bathroom, set up her cat hut that looks like a cat right in front of the carrier and poof she went right in.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 03/10/2026

Ironically, my right thumb nail cracked and folded over. Too much pressure for the lady! Also I lost the front of one of my earrings for my newly pierced ears sometime last night and cannot find it anywhere. Maybe I'll have luck when the room is emptied by the movers. Calling my piercer anyway.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

I grew up near Lowell with parents from outside New England and consistently got confused at friends’ moms saying “Do you want some sherbet?”

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

On the upside, my nails are holding up through all this perfectly.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

Aaaaaaand now I'm freaking out. I'm waiting an hour til I take the cat over, then I have to vacuum, take down stuff from the wall, and pack up some remaining clothes before I can sleep.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

A couple weeks ago, on our way home from the Liz Phair/Sleater Kinney concert, we saw Sliwa just hanging out on a subway platform, chatting with people and doing selfies. Dude just looked _happy_.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

I really need to put some work into my intended playlist: "St. Vincent is PJ Harvey's secret child. We will not be answering questions."

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

Reading about this at the same time I'm listening to St. Vincent's Violet Times feels somehow apropos.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

"Oh, that one song from Kasabian! Haven't heard that in a while..." (remembers that the most transphobic nominal friend I had in the before times loved that song) "...next."

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

Last round of bringing stuff over pre movers done...well, the cat moves tonight.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

"What do you have in the bag?" "A gallon of corn chowder with smoky bacon, why do you ask?"

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

I eated all the soup. But I do have to go back to the old neighborhood a few times so maybe I'll grab a few quarts. =)

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

Tracking along on Google Maps while my driver is making his way through downtown Brooklyn, I gotta say...Google Maps gets very confused driving here.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

Already thinking about what additional furniture I may need, but I'm resisting the urge to order things now. Let's at least wait til the existing furniture has moved!

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

Instead, I went back to my old place, rested longer than I’d intended, loaded up two more suitcases, got some great soup from a place I’ll miss, sweated too much, and ate the soup. One more break and then back over with the suitcases!

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

Dang, I tried to take a break up in the rooftop lounge but it's closed for facade inspection or something.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

Second load of stuff unloaded, including cat food, water and food bowls, old linens for her to nest in overnight, etc. Now to get the last wave of packages from downstairs and set up the litter box!

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

Oh hey, it's 161 Maiden Lane, the permanently incomplete construction trainwreck tower! www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

I don't know if it's because it's Friday, or that I'm starting half an hour earlier, or just dumb random luck, but it appears this uber ride will take ~10 minutes less than yesterday's.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

And we are underway for the second and final day of moving some stuff by hand and setting a few things up. The highlight comes this evening when my ancient, anxious kitty gets relocated, whether she likes it or not!

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

I simply can't articulate how grateful I am for my dad being the truly good human being that he is.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

My sister is still running away from even acknowledging my identity, my mom took a year to make any progress, and my dad...called me 45 minutes after I sent the "surprise, you've got an additional daughter!" email and immediately told me how much he loved my name.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 02/10/2026

Calling my dad was entirely the right move. He instantly said yes to coming down to help me during recovery, and supported my feeling that I'd like to wait a couple more months after the move etc, which is what I needed.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 01/10/2026

Getting the moral equivalent of an "Act now! Supplies are running out!" email from your surgeon's office sure does bring a strong feeling of urgency to the decision making process.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 01/10/2026

I've been offered a date for FFS, in a month and a half, and I am anxious as hell about whether I'm ready, if it's the right time, etc. So I'm having a call with my dad tonight to talk it through and no, this is not insane, I swear. At the very least, he's who I'd like to help me in early recovery.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 01/10/2026

Continuously reminding myself that just because there are more things I _could_ be doing for the move, that doesn’t mean I _need_ to be doing those things.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 01/10/2026

Before this week: never been on the Brooklyn Bridge. After the next few days: positively bored with the Brooklyn Bridge.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 01/10/2026

Internet is live, suitcases emptied, packages opened, etc, so I'm back to Old Home for another load of stuff.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 01/10/2026

I'm fully committed to the headscarf life, even if I do sometimes get mistaken for an ultra Orthodox Jewish woman by confused people.

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 01/10/2026

I'm in my apartment! No view, because I didn't want to spend $200 more a month when I can just go up to the rooftop lounge and terrace for way better views. =)

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(eliza)Beth! @beth.banana.management · 01/10/2026

Nah, give her time and she'll figure it out on her own.

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