iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 27/09/2026

Jackie Young dogging Kelsey Mitchell’s every step. CC giving Stephanie Talbot a full five feet of space in the corner.

static.klipy.com

Welp Ok: Man's Funny Reaction

ALT: Welp Ok: Man's Funny Reaction

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 25/09/2026

WHY DON’T I HAVE TEN MILLION DOLLARS 🤞🏻🤞🏻

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 25/09/2026

Why does Lynne Roberts still have a job

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 24/09/2026

Sure, gas may be $38 a gallon but at least it’s safer to consume than beef

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 24/09/2026

Mulling over a new story for Deathbed about a terrifying shadow dimension populated by all the people who send the automatic “Hi, is this available?” message on Facebook Marketplace then immediately vanish forever

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 23/09/2026

Absolutely insane game from the Portland Fire. Key players injured, nothing whatsoever on the line, and they are going all out to put away the #2 team in the league.

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 19/09/2026

They should have a “Previously on…” but for books. How the hell am I supposed to remember who Reggie is

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 15/09/2026

Congrats to the amazing Widow’s Bay and hey speaking of horror/comedy subscribe.deathbedwriting.com

subscribe.deathbedwriting.com

Deathbed

Horror Stories by Comedy Writers

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 15/09/2026

When he thanked his co-stars, I’m going to assume he meant all of them ever, in everything

Me on the set of Idiotsitter with the king Stephen Root

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 13/09/2026

I will also say that a lifetime of playing head, shoulders and torso better than her competition has done Caitlin Clark’s mindset no favors at the professional level

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 13/09/2026

I’ve noted an interesting phenomenon wherein I seem to appreciate Breanna Stewart’s game way more when she’s not playing against my team

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 10/09/2026

Crazy that there’s only one truly funny person in this lineup and even crazier that he’s also an NBA Champion

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 09/09/2026

Oh cool an all-new set of size templates on the way for social media posts, can’t wait to redesign everything and for all previous designs to look fucked up

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 05/09/2026

Just got back from the meeting, we in the Oaf Community have voted unanimously to censure and expel John Fetterman

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 31/08/2026

I get that people want to demolish the ballroom ASAFP but converting it to federally subsidized housing would be much less wasteful and would make him way madder.

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 28/08/2026

This is fine, but I would appreciate it if foreign heads of state would just post stuff like “The American president is a lying incontinent halfwit and there is no earthly reason for anyone to pay attention to anything he says”

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 28/08/2026

I wonder if there’s like one guy who is in charge of all of the country’s food safety and if that same guy slashed budget and personnel for inspections and whether any journalist might ask him about the near constant daily food recalls we are dealing with

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 27/08/2026

Dolly Parton was a deeply flawed Christian by today’s standards but that’s only because she understood and lived her life according to Christ’s teachings

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 26/08/2026

“Why don’t they just follow the rules instead of coming here illegally”

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 25/08/2026

What is taking the leader of the free world so long to inform us all that Dolly Parton was overrated

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 25/08/2026

What on earth is the point of making piles of money if you don’t do what Dolly Parton did with it #RIP

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Reposted by Ben Zelevansky

Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

LMAOOOOOOOOOO somebody finally asked the transphobes if they know any WNBA players besides and NOPE

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 21/08/2026

The phrase “American business leader” can kick rocks, just say “some rich guy”

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 18/08/2026

All that remains now is for Hakeem Jeffries to publicly reprimand Ossoff and the cycle can begin anew

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 14/08/2026

I’m finally impressed by Elon Musk, his cringe tolerance clearly dwarfs that of any mortal man

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 14/08/2026

“You're a fuckin’ criminal and you deserve to go where you're going and I'm gonna take you there and if I hear any more shit outta you I'm gonna fuckin’ bust your head and put you back in that fuckin’ hole and I'm gonna stick your head in the fuckin’ toilet bowl and I'm gonna make it stay there.”

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 11/08/2026

*talks to AI for three minutes* “Yeah I read Infinite Jest, it was pretty good”

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Reposted by Ben Zelevansky

Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 04/08/2026

My new short horror story SELF STORAGE is now available at deathbed.ghost.io/self-storage/, as is this breathtakingly unsettling illustration by Peader Thomas! #HorrorStories #ComedyWriters #NoAI

Hand drawn illustration of a self storage facility at night. A long shadow approaches the clerk at the window.

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 04/08/2026

My new short horror story SELF STORAGE is now available at deathbed.ghost.io/self-storage/, as is this breathtakingly unsettling illustration by Peader Thomas! #HorrorStories #ComedyWriters #NoAI

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 04/08/2026

Would a victim of abuse do whatever they could to placate their abuser and prevent further abuse, hmmm, difficult to say

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Reposted by Ben Zelevansky

Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 03/08/2026

My latest short horror story is now live on Deathbed! Please check out SELF STORAGE - and make sure you subscribe to get future Horror Stories by Comedy Writers delivered right to your Inbox - FOR FREE!

deathbed.ghost.io

Self Storage

Real friends keep secrets.

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 03/08/2026

deathbed.ghost.io

Self Storage

Real friends keep secrets.

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 02/08/2026

subscribe.deathbedwriting.com today, get SELF STORAGE, my new short horror story from Deathbed tomorrow! It’s just that simple! 💀🛏️

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 02/08/2026

ODYSSEUS will return in THE ODYSSEY 2: ITHACA DRIFT

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 01/08/2026

Leave as many big wooden horses on my lawn as you want, I’m not bringing ‘em inside. Nice try bozos

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 01/08/2026

Me dropping a cover of 1st of tha Month by Bone Thugs-n-Harmony except my version is about when that Kohl’s Cash hits 💵💵💵

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 01/08/2026

If Barton Fink was alive today, he’d be writing plays about the early morning cries of the Amazon delivery driver

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 01/08/2026

Colin Farrell has some of the best “I just got the shit kicked out of me” hair in the business

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 01/08/2026

Caitlin Clark is a very good player, but literally half her points tonight are free throws. She has shot 3 fewer free throws than the entire Fire team. So let’s just take it easy.

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Ben Zelevansky @benzelevansky.com · 01/08/2026