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Beau Jackal

@beaujackal.bsky.social
551 followers 297 following 5.8K posts

It's me! The writer dog you probably know from other places like FA or twitter. I'm also here! Probably.

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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 18h
You can also do this when someone is streaming Factorio
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 20h
Oh those two? Yeah like oil and water. They get along better when they’re whipped vigorously.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 23h
"Can't believe they're using that dog clicker in public." "Okay but if you actually LOOKED at them you'd see they're using it on a literal actual four-legged pet dog tho?" "Oh yeah I forgot you could do that."
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 23h
"Damn, jealous." "You want to love yourself too?" "No I wish I could kiss Andre like that."
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Prasad Jallepalli, MD, PhD @prasad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
5 potatoes cubed is still 5 potatoes because potatoes are root vegetables
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Fluffy red ball of tomfoolery 🔜 FP @melvischerrywolf.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
My ADHD brain instead of locking into critical thinking, social skills, or career advancing:
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 23h
Boss: Come on! Even the rookies are getting like 6-7 of these done in a day. You've gotta work these faster. Me: I got comfortable with 3, I'll give you 4 but that is the MOST I can do without compromising accuracy. *6 months of them shitting on me for not putting in OT and refusing to go faster*
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Impossible to contain rabbits. They've mastered quantum bunneling.
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rooshoes @roo.shoes · 28/09/2026
very pleased that multiple people get this
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
"Before I got to know you well, I wasn't convinced that oppositional defiant disorder was a real thing." Definitely a hall-of-fame description of me holy shit.
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FieldExplores (Gator Days) @fieldexplores.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Secret Ingredient - Gator Days
Secret Ingredient - Gator Days
 
Characters
 
Hannah - Goat - Daryl and Seth's Daughter

Daryl - Bear - Hannah's Papa
 
Seth - Otter - Hannah's Dad
 
Panel 1
 
Setting - The dinner table of the Hardy-Softbell house.
 
Hannah's family is having dinner.
 
Hannah: WOW! Dinner is extra good.
 
Daryl: Thank you. I tried a new secret ingredient.
 
Panel 2
 
Seth puts on a cute happy face. The backgrounds shifts to a pink color with hearts floating all around them.
 
Seth: Is it LOVE?
 
Daryl's face remains emotionless.
 
Panel  3
 
Daryl looks at Seth and responds.
 
Daryl: Toasted sesame oil.
 
Seth: Oh...
 
Daryl: Love isn't a secret ingredient. I put love in everything.
 
Seth: Oh...
 
Panel 4
 
Daryl looks away.
 
Daryl: I used so much love and you never noticed.
 
Seth: I DID!
  
Daryl: From now on I'm putting sarcasm in yours.
 
Seth: NO!
 
Daryl: Yes.

Hannah is ignoring this and just browsing on her phone.
 
Hannah is ignoring all this and has pulled out her phone.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
His name is Green Bellpeppers
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Things said of both car and pet: "It's an exotic so there's only like three places in the whole state that I can get it fixed."
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Tommy Siegel @tommysiegel.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Star Wars vs Star Trek: a guide
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Dicks-out tits-out~
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
God, people really be out there just snatching up any Avali they see and they don't even have a Class-IV brainwashing pod at home to keep them in. They need enrichment!
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it's charloh! (it/its) @charloh.online · 25/09/2026
"Why do you need cis people to be the ones to stand up for you?"
screenshot from Control Resonant. Dylan Faden stands in a fight ready stance, weapon in hand, in an open area with no apparent features. text above him reads "Cannot Transition During Combat"
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Okay yeah got me with that one. I may never finish once started, but I'll definitely never finish if I don't start.
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User with this avatar just got blocked @avijustgotblocked.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
An account with this avatar was just blocked.
Avatar of an account that was just blocked.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I'm helping!
Telegram screencap reading:
Poll reminder cause I want more data
also you can pick more than one, someone didn't know this
You added "more than one" to the poll.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
"Damn that's fucking metal." "I mean, literally yes."
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Went to dinner, ate my meal, ate 20% of everyone else's meal. So powerful. I am achieving Peak Scavenger Energy.
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dr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 18/06/2025
i cant stop laughing at everything about this sorry
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
It is so funny when you trip over that gap in Discord group chats. "So like, you're on the west coast, right?" "...Germany." "Ah, yeah ok I was close"
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Getting brief, fragmented glimpses of the sadistic, gleeful expression on the hypnotist's face as they repeatedly turn the brainwashing visor on and off again.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
So many people talk about the Bread and Circuses from Rome and compare it to $CURRENT_YEAR without mentioning that in Rome they were FUCKING FREE. We're paying out the ass for both of these things!
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Turns out the only thing worse than ‘Poob has it’ is ‘Actually Poob only has season 3 and 4, and like a couple of the OVAs.’
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Jfc I have never seen someone be so owned. Devastating. Is that man still alive?
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Billionaires who have a team of servants do everything for them: I mean I get by just fine whilst not knowing how to do anything and being completely unable to function on my own. Everyone should be able to do this!
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Incredible term. Because yeah like, that's how it went. It seemed like a miracle and it solved all these problems, but the potential risks went unexamined because of how good it was at its job. Now, the fallout of deploying it has killed millions and will take lifetimes to clean up.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Fae doctor having to very carefully rephrase “may I take your blood pressure?”
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Tim Price @timprice.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
You joined "grand vizier chat (secret)" You: dark rumors from aboard You: abroad* fuck Sssnakecharmer: mf said aboard WhispersintheChapel: ahoy matey lol PonderMyOrb changed the group name to "rumors from aboard"
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Very @lycangoop.bsky.social coded
"Truth serum" but what it actually does is make it so that whatever you say while drinking it was retroactively always the truth. Naturally, what everyone experiences is drinking it and then are unable to say anything false, so everyone thinks it's a truth serum. Mechanically, it's a truth serum.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Very real hazard. There is no cure.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
“Well what do I refer to you as?” “Captain.”
Captain Janeway pointedly deflecting questions about his or her gender
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Spudly Do-Right @spudleydo-right.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Ed Sheeran's tour bus.

Empty bus with Ed looking at a rock wall
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I feel like this is part of why AI boosters are leaning into the "Oh noooo we might get a kickass Mad Max apocalypse because of AI!" Because they know that's preferable to just like, commodification of everything and all our autonomy being slowly bureaucracied out of existence.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
It is frequently difficult to tell which are the domesticated ones, and they both love it that way.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Me the other day: Yeah every expansion they just add another fucken, flavor of elf. Promo: Witness the new Skyborne Elves in World of Warcraft: Forever~~
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
"Some gaps in the schedule coming up over the next few weeks. Would be a good time to take PTO." Fuck u lmao I'm gonna take time off when I'm missing the MOST possible work.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
That melancholy feeling of validation you get when the task you’ve been dreading for weeks actually DOES suck ass and it’s a lot of work.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I guess I have to apologize to all those courtroom dramas I watched growing up where the judge was just like "I'm going to allow this" 13 times in a row whenever someone commits a crime in the courtroom right in front of them. Turns out that absolutely is how it works.
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Unsurprising survey finds everyone is at their fucking limit rn
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Forever forgetting that I still haven’t removed Twitterdotcom from my phone. But it does occasionally give me a gem like this. Been that way for like a week. I’m sure it’s fine.
The icon for the Xitter app failing to load
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reilly 🐾 @poss.dog · 17/09/2026
A Venn diagram. The outer circles read dog, car, and husband. The intersection of dog and car is horse. The intersection of dog and husband is werewolf. The intersection of car and husband is centaur. The intersection of all three is dragon.
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Chef Kennedy🐸🏳️‍🌈 @kennedy.northsky.social · 17/09/2026
Tired: asking if someone is your "real friend" or an "internet friend" Wired: asking if your friendship is real-time or turn-based
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Chris Nagano @charliesaito22.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 24/10/2025
sara hinkley (@boneysoups) asks on twitter: "Gun to your head you are forced to get a Harry Potter tattoo, what are you getting"

Sophia Benoit (@lfollowernodad) quote tweets correctly: "shot"
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Daffodil Squeaks @therubbervoir.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
my favourite thing in this fandom is always the people who go "the line of whats morally acceptable is conveniently right next to what i find attractive and not an inch beyond it"
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Beau Jackal @beaujackal.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Love when someone describes a video game enemy as "the motherfucker extreme" and I'm like oh yeah I know exactly the one you mean.
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