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BeardedPumpkin

@beardedpumpkin.bsky.social
757 followers 496 following 3.7K posts

45+, tattoo loving, straight, neurodivergent, girldad, who loves spending time with my daughters, cooking, dogs, working out, outdoors and espresso. Liberal AF. Texas native relocated to Oregon. Fuck the magat dipshits that are ruining this country.

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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 18h
Mentally I still believe I’m in my 20s. Occasionally I do a physical task and the next day my body reminds me I am much older than that. Ugh.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 19h
Good morning and happy hump day. We’re almost halfway there! Who needs a shot to help push through?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
In case you were aware, healthcare in this country is a crock of shit. We can do so much better.
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Reposted by BeardedPumpkin
BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
It’s national taco day on taco Tuesday! I need espresso to prepare. Anyone else? #nationaltacoday
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
He’s begging for this to happen so he can declare Marshall law and complete the full takeover of our democracy.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
It’s national taco day on taco Tuesday! I need espresso to prepare. Anyone else? #nationaltacoday
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Changed my handle. Same guy. Same weird humor. Same espresso.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I do not want to work today. #monday
static.klipy.com
Office Space: The Case Of The Mondays
ALT: Office Space: The Case Of The Mondays
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Good morning and happy Monday. Only 3.5 work days for me this week! Who needs espresso?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Insomnia my old friend. We meet again.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Just won $6 on a football bet. Gonna go by a gallon of gas and I’ll let the attendant keep the change. Makin it rain!
static.klipy.com
Rich Man Making Money Rain
ALT: Rich Man Making Money Rain
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Good morning and happy Sunday. I forgot to take a pic before I drank my espresso. Anyone need a shot?
static.klipy.com
Espresso Coffee Extraction
ALT: Espresso Coffee Extraction
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Hey CBS. We Oregonians don’t give a shit about Ohio st. Why isn’t the duck game on?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Off to get bagels with 17. Perfect pre race food. Anybody want one? Behave while I’m gone. Or don’t. I don’t make the rules. 😂
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
This is the reason the teens named our family group text “too much dog shit”. They are a very tight pack.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Good morning and happy Saturday. Football and cross country on the agenda. First, espresso and then I’ll fix this bed head. Anybody need a shot?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Chicken parm. It’s what’s for dinner. There’s extra if you’re hungry.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It may be Friday but I’m spunky so I’m stirring shit up at work.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It’s seems espresso and dogs are offensive. I’m being blocked left and right this morning. 🤷🏻😂
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The red heeler. Among the smartest, most loyal, toughest and most stubborn of dog breeds. This is his “I’m sorry dad but I’m gonna do it again” face. 😂
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Good morning and happy Friday. We made it! Who needs espresso?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
As a salesperson I’m basically just a babysitter for adults. I spend most of time making sure my customers don’t hurt themselves. 😂
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Good morning and happy Thursday. Got some new espresso beans and I’m liking the way this looks! Anybody need a shot?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
So the AI interface on my fitness tracker doesn’t recognize the word tater. This is definitely artificial intelligence. Nothing super about it.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Working from home today. 17 zombies out of her room to get ready for school, looks at me and says “why are you still here?” I love you too, daughter. 😂
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Good morning an happy Wednesday. Anyone need espresso to get over the hump?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This day is fucking creeping by. Anyone wanna play uno or something to pass the time? 😂
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Happy national coffee day. Celebrating with this super snazzy mug from 17.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Good morning and happy Tuesday. I’m warming up the leftover foot for breakfast if anyone needs to get the day started on the right foot (or maybe it’s the left, not sure).
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
17 when she saw it “what the fuck is that?” Made it all worth it. 😂😂😂
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
And the cooked version. It was messy. But good! 😂
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Spaghetti and feetballs coming up soon. Anyone hungry? @nancyspantsbelt.bsky.social
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Captured a decent shot of the moon this morning.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Happy Monday. I know I need a lot of espresso today. Who else does? #monochromemonday
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I see who my true friends are. 😂
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Just ordered 3 chords of firewood. Anyone want to come help me stack it?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Good morning and happy Sunday! Espresso before football starts?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Dad. I’m more fun than football 🐕
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Back after a long day! 17 rocked it. Time to take a gummy and watch some football !🏈
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Had to fill up in Portland. Thanks Biden.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Good morning and happy Saturday. Headed into the Columbia river gorge to watch 17 run cross country. Hopefully I’m back in time to watch the ducks lose again. First espresso. Anyone need a shot or two?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I did a thing and it’s really damned good. So do we call it the briskgel or the bagket?
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
This is what it looks like on the way home. Not much left. 😬
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Someone is having a bad day. That was insanely hot. I passed it three lanes away and could feel the intense heat.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Good morning and happy Friday. These two are being lazy. May be hard to tell from the photo but that’s 140 lbs of cattle dog.
Two dogs curled up next to eachother in a dog bed.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
No Mr customer, your inability to plan is not my problem. I’m sorry you ran out of plywood. You’re gonna have to wait for us to make more. Your emergency is not my emergency. 🤷🏻
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Just went to pee and realized the button is about to fall off my jeans. This could make for an interesting afternoon at the office. 😬
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Fall = flannel. Glad I wore this today. It’s fucking freezing in this office!
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Gorgeous sunrise today.
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BeardedPumpkin @beardedpumpkin.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Good morning an happy Thursday. Anyone need espresso?
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