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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 16h

My husband poked our baby with his beard by accident and wherever you are I assume you also heard the level of crying that ensued

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 17h

It’s so cold today (61 F) I’m wearing full length leggings and a pair of socks

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 18h

The thing about being a new parent is once your baby finally goes down for a nap you are paralyzed by indecision. Do I use this time to shower? To do laundry? To wash bottles? To pump? To exercise? To make the bed? To eat something? And mostly you end up using it to stare at your phone.

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 18h

Apparently the trick to getting my baby to nap this morning was to get fed up and just put her down in the bassinet and run out of the room because now she’s been asleep for about half an hour 🙄

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Baby is refusing to nap during the day so by the time we get to bedtime she’s overtired and screaming bloody murder and I just got her to fall asleep on the changing table bc for some reason that’s her favorite place but now I’m terrified to move her so I’m just standing here trapped

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

If my baby looks like me and her double chin is cute then my double chin must also be cute

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

I slept a normal amount of sleep last night and I feel invincible.

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

I have already established an unfortunate nickname for my baby which is Squirmy Wormy

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Trying to romanticize this shit ass weather by pretending it’s chilly and rainy outside instead of just humid and overcast and that I’m having a cozy day inside instead of yearning to go on a walk in the sun

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Acting like I didn’t walk around my house feeling completely dead inside yesterday because today my bff is coming over to watch my baby aaaall night so I can sleep like a normal person!!!!!!! PPD WHO

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

My mental health is directly tied to how long my baby naps now

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Watching my husband doing who knows what on his phone instead of getting dressed when we have 7 minutes left before we need to leave the house and trying not to scream

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Using my cracked breast pump because I can’t stand the other non broken breast pump and this is my version of living on the edge now

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I spent most of this year making a baby for everyone so I don’t have to buy Christmas gifts right

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

My wearable breast pump got cracked and my husband ordered the wrong replacement part and now the correct part isn’t coming til Sunday and the second secondary pump I bought doesn’t come til Wednesday so now I’m just stuck with the pump that isn’t wearable which I hate bc I can’t do anything

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Okay so far my favorite part about being not pregnant and also breastfeeding is that my acid reflux is gone and I can eat anything I want

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

How come according to my husband everything I buy is “so expensive” but everything my husband buys isn’t 😒

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

My siblings in Christ I walked a mile yesterday and today???

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I want to brag about something my baby has been doing but I’m terrified of jinxing it so I’ll just say it has to do with sleep and you can draw your own conclusions

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Heatwave straight into RAIN???? Are you fucking with me???

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I have a headache and I’m about to head into a dental appointment so this might be the end for me

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Important stuff I need to report to my husband when he wakes up: -our baby did a fat poop -I saw a truly enormous spider outside -that’s it I guess

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Having a newborn is mostly about wishing your baby was asleep when they’re awake and wishing they were awake when they’re asleep

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Baby is curled up in my arms GIGGLING in her sleep and I should transition her to the bassinet but how am I supposed to do that when she’s being the cutest creature to ever exist????

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Where my derealization disorder bitches at

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

My Google searches “How not to lose your mind” “What does going crazy feel like” “How to tell if you have ptsd” “Trauma response list”

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I already brushed my teeth and I have a dentist appointment next week but I think I should eat some whipped cream out of the can right now

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Rating my methods for staying awake while pumping -shaking head back and forth: 1 -Instagram reel binge: 6 -retail therapy: 7 -texting: 7 -eating: 10 -watching tv: 5 (doesn’t work but I love tv)

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Fucked up my pump schedule now I have to stay up til 10pm to pump even though everyone else including the dog and the baby is asleep 😭

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

No listen I /have/ to do retail therapy while I’m pumping because without the dopamine hit of “check out now” I’ll fall asleep and leak milk everywhere

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

This is the most like my regular self I’ve felt since giving birth and I’m reveling in it! Even if it doesn’t last very long I’m soaking it up!

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Feeling VERY optimistic this morning???????????

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Got up at 5, fed and diapered the baby, put her down to sleep again, got some quality time in my enclosure (Instagram binge), ate breakfast and pumped, and walked the dog 😤💪

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Did not sleep anywhere near a normal amount but me my husband and my baby did intermittently all sleep in the same room together last night and that feels really good to me

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I went to the chiropractor yesterday and unfortunately it did help tremendously and I made another appointment

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I can already tell that when my baby starts laughing I’m going to be chasing that high like the most potent drug on earth.

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Hating pumping breast milk is my whole personality now

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Does anyone know where my earbuds are? No not those earbuds obviously I know where those ones are, I mean the other ones, the ones I can’t find?

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Every day I’m like I could never be post partum a second time and at the same time I still want to have another child

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Someone come transition my baby from sleeping here on the bed next to me into her bassinet so if she wakes up I can blame you and not myself

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

“Sleep when the baby sleeps” “happy moms have happy kids” “put your oxygen mask on first” “remember to fill your cup” okay which one of these applies to me actively suppressing my urge to cough right now because my baby is asleep next to me and I’ll lose my mind if I wake her up

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Breast milk is the only bodily fluid you can show to someone else without it being disgusting

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Not sure that I love my new breast pump but it seems kind of gross to return it after I’ve already used it

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

The hospital bill for my c-section after insurance was about $1500 so I keep saying I bought a baby for $1500

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The depression can’t get you if you never stop moving

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

This morning I fed my baby and got her back to sleep, pumped, did my pelvic floor exercises and back stretches, contacted a chiropractor, responded to an HR email, and ordered another breast pump.

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Having a baby has made me more pro-choice than ever because this shit is hard as fuck in ways you can’t even begin to conceptualize until you’re living it and imagining being forced to do any part of this against one’s will fills me with both a white hot rage and a dilapidating sorrow.

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Today is my 5 year wedding anniversary and to celebrate I will be taking a shower before noon

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god’s favorite mistake @barfbabe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

To be clear I am not anti-formula, if someone wants to feed their baby only formula all power to them, making breast milk is hard and it sucks and if someone doesn’t want to do it (or can’t) for any reason I support them.

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