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Ballflap

@ballflap.bsky.social
63 followers 121 following 79 posts

Come, nestle in the ballflap.

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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
trying to post sht too heavy for Bsky but it will let me paste this entire thing into the alt text
Guy who was exposed to an obscure piece of media at a young age and latched onto it and now conceptualizes all other media relative to it, you describe LotR and he says "Oh, so it's like The Fable of Dimble Greeble but the villain is to the east" and you have no fucking idea but he said it so nonchalantly that you go along with it and reply "Yeah, I guess" and repeated experiences like this have only reinforced his belief that all media is Dimble Greeble but slightly different and therefore slightly worse
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
For pussy-desperate men, Labubus are the current-day equivalent of "I'm a feminist"
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
My employees were real mad about me blocking e621 on the office router, so I added a small amount of work-approved yiff to the company website to keep morale up. Management is really a balancing act and I think I nailed this one. Not as hard as the nailing happening in these images though...
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
Sex 3 Development Handed Off to Valve Software; Questions Arise About Release Timeline
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 16/03/2025
taking bets on 20 of these vs. one Waffle House employee from the Hood
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
Obama's election was the result of a steady decline in white people's usage of their secret power, "salads" containing everything but normal salad ingredients. Watergate salad got Nixon elected, and the only green thing in that is the dye
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
Family Guy cutaway gag where Peter says "This is worse than the time I crapped my pants" and it cuts to like 5 seconds earlier in the same scene
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
A noncommittal buttfucking
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 26/11/2024
At gay conversion camps they should have them fuck femboys as a baby step toward heterosexuality
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 30/10/2024
can you imagine what a disaster a peanut butter pipe malfunction would be. like, the amount of pressure needed to make peanut butter flow like that
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 20/10/2024
"There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off" (x2) "There's a dozen on my cousin, I can hear the bastards buzzin" Really speaks to a time when family meant something. Nowadays nobody bothers to insinuate their cousin could use a handie too
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 17/10/2024
To know is to experience such concentrated despair
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 15/10/2024
Not now, son; Daddy’s about to hit a server record on bhop_badges
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 15/10/2024
My Weltanschauung has been killer ever since I convinced myself gnomes exist
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 14/10/2024
He was a Waffle House boy She was an IHOP girl
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 03/10/2024
The height of customer service is having the paper towel dispenser adjusted so it actually gives you enough to dry your hands in one go
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Reposted by Ballflap
Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 28/09/2024
i’m just a simple man two eyes a nose a mouth couple arms and legs and the most bloated disgusting set of testicles this side of a pachyderm
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 18/09/2024
They say the truth will set you free, but the truth about the sex gnomes is more akin to a ball and chain around both ankles
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 14/09/2024
Loaded baked potato but the baked potato is my nutsack and the load is, well, let’s just say…
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 06/08/2024
when she's riding you and every time she goes down there's a loud crack in both her knees 🔩 💦💦💦
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 05/08/2024
I want to go on an early midlife crisis, but I don't have the money for it
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 14/03/2024
I need my pintle gudgeoned on crazy-style
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 06/03/2024
what my asshole be lookin like after ordering spice level 5 on the lamb vindaloo
burnt-out electrical socket with charring on wall above and burnt, melted plastic dripping down
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 26/02/2024
Straight men: I want you to look me dead in the eyes and TRY to tell me you don’t want at least a little sip of your woman’s breast milk. I want you to lie to my face.
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 06/02/2024
“Beating/jacking/jerking off” implies that the ultimate goal is complete penile detachment and takeoff into a low earth orbit. Question is, do the balls go with? Like a staged rocket, do they detach when depleted?
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 01/02/2024
The boss has been a lot happier with our performance ever since we quietly reworded the counter to “Accidents since last day”
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 01/02/2024
Attention passengers: would someone qualified in flying a plane please report to the cockpit. Our pilot ate the fish and our copilot is about to take his contractually-mandated masturbation break
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 28/01/2024
Caught my son adjusting the thermostat. YOWZA!!! The funeral will be next Tuesday.
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 25/01/2024
NVidia offered me 50k to scream the N word on stream while using an AMD card
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 14/01/2024
Skydiver lands bootyhole-first on a telephone pole, divorces wife to live as a gay sex monk
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 14/01/2024
Emergency Alert: Aliens have come to smoke all our crack
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 10/01/2024
lost my boner cuz she was going too passionate on it, told her I want my suck disinterested and rushed
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 05/01/2024
I've started wearing a sundial on my wrist, taking zero care to line it up when I "check" it, always concluding it's "time for you to suck me"
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 04/01/2024
milspec fleshlight
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 29/12/2023
Strolling into a truck stop at 0400 hours and speaking Martian to the clerk
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 27/12/2023
/r/twosentencehorror submitted by /u/phantom_phinger “I was home alone when I stuck both hands in my ass…" "... but I distinctly felt eleven fingers."
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 27/12/2023
My mom got a new fax machine for christmas
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 26/12/2023
Labored Breathing 12 hour Deathbed ASMR / No-Loop Moans & Groans
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 22/12/2023
I’m behind the Toys-‘R’-Us, my wife’s sucking my dick fully dry next to the dumpster, our child is inside wandering the aisles, unsure whether to cry or jump for joy with its newfound freedom
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 21/12/2023
the face of God is hidden on page 72 of pornhub’s BBW category
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 21/12/2023
Hitting the brown note on the church’s organ during service
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 18/12/2023
I’m enacting a full lockdown on all so-called “Janitors” until we figure out what the hell they’re up to with unrestricted access to all trash cans and bathrooms, authority to spread chemicals on our floors, etc. There’s something afoot
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 18/12/2023
Selling random products on Amazon with “rape-ready” in the name, no further explanation in product description
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 16/12/2023
City gossip: omg Kristy totally had on the Kylie Jenner Glamor Girl lipgloss Country gossip: I heard she reached over and snapped Joey’s dick in two like a Slim Jim
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 08/12/2023
Spaghetti-Os but the the pasta is replaced with pickled pig sphincters
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 05/12/2023
If you read the calorie counts on the Olive Garden menu as years, you’d be lucky to find a date before the American Revolution
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 15/11/2023
Tying a bunch of wooden spoons to my nutsack so I get that clatter when I spatter my batter all over her tatters
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 15/11/2023
Image: fisherman receiving head from a semi-anthropomorphized shrimp Caption: "I tried to hold it back, but her suction was shrimply too intense"
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 13/11/2023
In a CS2 comp match with a chap named "[GirlGamerzAlliance ☆] ♡ NadeSpamMyClitty ♡". Probable CIA asset, so I had to reduce my usage of slurs to a more average level, which of course negatively impacts not only my gaming performance but also my team's opinion of me.
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Ballflap @ballflap.bsky.social · 08/11/2023
My reputation is such that when I announce I’m “going to hit the sack” there is genuine confusion over whether I’m about to sleep or begin one of my famous 3.7 hour “southern homestyle” CBT sessions
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