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Azlancat

@azlancat.bsky.social

599 followers 188 following 2.2K posts

Kāpiti, Aotearoa Just See below

Posts Replies Media

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Remember we have until 25 October to enrol to vote, make sure you enrol at least once #nzpol

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

My hot flight attendant asked how I like my coffee
Trying to sound cool, I told her I like my coffee like I like my women. And that's when she told me "That's cute honey, but the coffee's free. You don't have to pay for it here!"

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Even if you don't like Halloween you have to appreciate its position as the sole thing keeping Christmas from advancing even earlier into the year like a cancerous growth

vOx-mach1na
The goth kids hold the line.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Monster O
BY JASON IRWIN
I was a zygote then—
a coin in my mother's purse,
a fish, swimming in the brine

of her sins. I was the tiny monster growing inside her, always
needing, always reaching.

Then, swaddled in my disfigured armor,
I howled and squirmed. Priests
and soothsayers were summoned
with their incantations and blessings.
But the monster lived, consumed our lives,
and became something other -
a manifestation of our fears.

On rainy nights when the roof leaked, when the bills piled up, nights I lay
in the hospital waiting for X-rays or surgery,
the monster's shadow stained the walls.

Sometimes I imagined he was a warden locking the doors.
Sometimes he was the doctors,
with their tiny knives and mouse-black eyes.
Sometimes I swear he was God.

000

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

r/showertnougnts
u/BoxMorton • 3h •
Why would the Grim Reaper need a scythe if he can kill people by just touching them?

ddrober2003 • 2h
Because he is the Grim Reaper and he needs a scythe to reap. Otherwise he would be known as the Grimtoucher and that might get him on a list.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Blank page with words
‘Don't be hard on yourself for not finding love, maybe your soul mate is already dead. I'm sorry.

Reposted by Azlancat

Jerry aka Anjerrie de Poutine @urbanelevations.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Telling the kids this was Ed Sheeran *nicked from @azlancat.bsky.social

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Guess who has 7 thumbs and just got fired from the morgue?

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Busy #caturday afternoon #cats #catsofbluesky

Black cat looking at camera sitting on lazy boy

Ginger cat on a cat stand

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Nice window rattler #eqnz

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Lines Written in Early Spring
BY WILLAM WORDSWORTH
I heard a thousand blended notes,
While in a grove I sate reclined, In that sweet mood when pleasant though
Ring sad thoughts to the mind

To her fair works did Nature link
The human soul that through me ran;
And much it grieved my heart to think What man has made of man.

Through primrose tufts, in that green bower,
The periwinkle trailed its wreaths;
And 'tis my faith that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes.

The birds around me hopped and played Their thoughts I cannot measure:-
The budding twigs spread out their fan, To catch the breezy air;
And I must think, do all I can,
That there was pleasure there.

If this belief from heaven be sent,
If such be Nature's holy plan,
Have I not reason to lament
What man has made of man?

000

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Picture of C S Lewis with quote
‘"The greatest evils in the world will not be carried out by men with guns, but by men in suits sitting behind desks."
-C. S. Lewis’

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Roy Morgan poll #nzpol

National: 31% (-1)
Labour: 24% (-1.5)
Greens: 15.5% (+2)
CT: 10.5% (+2
pportunity: 9.5% (+1.5
NZ First: 7.5% (-1)
TPM: 1.5% (-0.5)

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Tweet from @HoldenShearer
‘Someone should probably tell the rich that workers banding together to present formal address of grievances is the alternative we worked out a long time ago to breaking down the factory owner's front door and beating him to death in front of his family? I feel like they forgot.’

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Cartoon of elderly man in a chair in speech bubble ‘MY JOINTS ARE STIFF.’
Cartoon picture of elderly lady standing facing him holding a spliff with words
‘IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE
ROLLING THEM TOO TIGHT.’

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Header One of many examples of why an 80's kid will never trust Al.

Picture of 80s computer screen from War Games movie

‘BRIDGE CHECKERS
CHESS POKER
FIGHTER COMBAT
GUERRILLA ENGAGEMENT
DESERT WARFARE
AIR-TO-GROUND ACTIONS
THEATERNIDE TACTICAL WARFARE
THEATERNIDE BIOTOXIC AND CHEMICAL WARFARE
GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Sunday afternoons are tiring work #cats #catsofbluesky

Ginger cat looking half asleep inside box that is part of cat stand.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Billboard above graffitied wall with words
‘Capitalism is just Feudalism with CEOs instead of Kings.’

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Has to sit on the blanket cause his sister just got off it #cats #catsofbluesky

Ginger cat sitting on a leopard print blanket

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

And happy black cat appreciation day #cats #catsofbluesky

Black cat lying down on a leopard print mink blanket looking at camera.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

@kerrcow.bsky.social interested to know if the sailors on the Lincoln have a lot to complain about or is an extended deployment something to be expected in the military?

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Photo of George Carlin with quote
‘"People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a
'common purpose'. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands.
And fight songs. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking."

~ GEORGE CARLIN’

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Songs of Experience William Blake

The Chimney Sweeper: A little black thing among the snow

BY WILLIAM BLAKE

A little black thing among the snow, Crying "weep! 'weep!" in notes of woe!
"Where are thy father and mother? say?"
"They are both gone up to the church to pray.

Because I was happy upon the heath, And smiled among the winter's snow, They clothed me in the clothes of death, And taught me to sing the notes of woe.

And because I am happy and dance and sing, They think they have done me no injury,
And are gone to praise God and his Priest and King,
Who make up a heaven of our misery."

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Graffiti on cream wall in red paint

‘AUSTERITY
THE BILLIONAIRES IN BUISNESS TELL THE MILLIONAIRES IN POLITICS THAT THE REST OFUSARE GREEDY’

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Miaow #cats #catsofbluesky

Caption: He eat. He sleep. But most importantly, he hold him's own feet.

Picture- Gingery brown and white cat looking at camera on its back with his front legs holding his back legs.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Who even knows #cats #catsofbluesky

Ginger cat in space between fridge and cupboard looking at camera

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

The Good-Morrow
BY JOHN DONNE
I wonder, by my troth, what thou and I Did, till we loved? Were we not weaned till then?
But sucked on country pleasures, childishly?
Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers' den?
"Twas so; but this, all pleasures fancies be.
If ever any beauty I did see,
Which I desired, and got, 'twas but a dream of thee.
And now good-morrow to our waking souls, Which watch not one another out of fear;
For love, all love of other sights controls, And makes one little room an everywhere.
Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone, Let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown, Let us possess one world, each hath one, and is one.
My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears, And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres, Without sharp north, without declining west?
Whatever dies, was not mixed equally;
If our two loves be one, or, thou and I Love so alike, that none do slacken, none can die.

000

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Post by I yodas-yo-yo

‘My favorite line in Sense and Sensibility (the book, not the film) occurs when Elinor is forced into conversation with this arrogant shithead guy at a party who does nothing but talk himself up and sound like an idiot and Austen writes:
Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition.’

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

#cats #catsofbluesky

Caption ‘How my cat looks knowing I'm literally a slave to his four paws’

An orange tabby cat (with lighter orange/cream fur and darker orange stripes) is lying stretched out on its side on a textured gray-beige carpet.
• The cat’s body is relaxed and elongated, with its front legs extended forward and back legs slightly tucked.
• Its tail is curled upward in a gentle curve, showing clear tabby striping.
• The cat has a very smug, self-satisfied expression: eyes are narrowed into pleased slits, ears are forward and relaxed, and its mouth has a subtle upward curve, giving it a look of quiet superiority and contentment.
Bottom Panels:
• Left bottom panel: A closer side/angled view of the same cat, still lying down, emphasizing the same half-closed, blissfully arrogant eyes and slightly smiling mouth.
• Right bottom panel: An extreme close-up of the cat’s face, focusing on the narrowed, smiling eyes, pink nose, and whiskers. The expression strongly conveys “I know I own you.”

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Important update #cats #catsofblueky

Caption: ‘Here's a common scam that is going around that you should know about:’

Picture- painting of a women in old style clothing holding up a saucer for a cat to eat from

Caption ‘Sometimes cats will meow at you like they haven't been fed, but in fact someone DID feed them and they're just trying to get fed again’

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

This is a 2x2 grid meme image with a dark, space-themed aesthetic.
• Top-left panel: Close-up portrait of a bearded man (with a high-and-tight haircut, shaved sides, and longer textured hair on top) looking intensely to the right with a serious, slightly scowling expression. The lighting is dramatic and cool blue/purple-toned.
• Top-right panel: A colorful space nebula background (stars, cosmic dust, and glowing Milky Way-like clouds in purples, blues, and oranges). White text reads: “Space Billionaires (Adj.) (Noun)”
• Bottom-left panel: Same bearded man, now with a wild-eyed, unhinged expression — eyes wide open, eyebrows raised, mouth open showing teeth in an intense or manic grin. The lighting is slightly warmer.
• Bottom-right panel: Another deep space background (darker purple/blue starry field with nebula). White text reads: “Space Billionaires (Verb) (Noun)”

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

Monster By Jason Irwin

Monster
BY JASON IRWIN
I was a zygote then— a coin in my mother's purse, a fish, swimming in the brine

of her sins. I was the tiny monster growing inside her, always needing, always reaching.

Then, swaddled in my disfigured armor, I howled and squirmed. Priests and soothsayers were summoned with their incantations and blessings.
But the monster lived, consumed our lives, and became something other-a manifestation of our fears.

On rainy nights when the roof leaked, when the bills piled up, nights I lay
in the hospital waiting for X-rays or surgery, the monster's shadow stained the walls.
Sometimes I imagined he was a warden locking the doors. Sometimes he was the doctors,
with their tiny knives and mouse-black eyes.
Sometimes I swear he was God.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Blank page with words ‘Tips on how to fall asleep in a living room chair. 1- Be old. 2- Sit in a chair.’

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

Bertrand Russell I try at this anyway, I don’t always succeed.

When you are studying any matter or considering any philosophy, ask yourself only what are the facts and what is the truth that the facts bear out. Never let yourself be diverted either by what you wish to believe or by what you think would have beneficent social effects if it were believed, but look only and solely at what are the facts.

000

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Miaow #cats #catsofbluesky

Black cat on a mink style blanket on a bed

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

@kerrcow.bsky.social

000

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

Miaow

Leopard and black panther drinking from a pond, Bhadra Tiger Reserve in Karnataka, India.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

@xulanix.bsky.social

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Tony Soprano sitting in chair in office with wooden wall and books with leg on knee with caption

‘Waste management consultant.’

000

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Caption: Everyday we stray further from god
Picture: doc Martin’s with croc like base as a pair of boots labelled ‘croc Martens’

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

Miaow #cats #catsofbluesky

Black cat lying in sun coming through French doors on a black and white rug

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

Tweet from. Ghostface Kafka (36 Chambers)

‘It's really funny how America and the
UK stopped investing in infrastructure in the 1980s because the free market will pave potholes and make the trains run on time and now literally nothing works and you cannot go anywhere or do anything but like 4 people are richer than
God.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

Caption-Ever get the feeling you are being judged?

Picture- 3 cats looking judgingly down under a iron bannister downwards towards the photographer

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

INTERVIEWER

Some people say they can't understand your writing, even after they have read it two or three times. What approach would you suggest for them?

FAULKNER

Read it four times.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

Tweet from @JosephBrassey
The funniest Toxic Masculinity thing is this people-didn't-used-to-be-so-offended-you-snowflake phenomenon.
Like my dude, men used to fucking shoot eachother at dawn or duel to stupid mutual injury over petty disagreements. Your ancestors were incredibly thin-skinned.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

Top caption- I present u

Picture if tool case with multiple wurst fit into tool shaped crevices with caption

Bottom Caption - the wurst- case scenario

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

Meme
Person- How's your Monday, unknown social media manager person?

Prime video rep - i think im depressed Imao

Reply- Hi! Vicky here, Managing Director of Socials for Amazon Prime Video. Apologies for the last message; that was an accident and will not be happening again.
We are having a fabulous Monday and hope you are as well!

Comment under conversation-
they shot him right at his damn desk

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 07/06/2026

@kerrcow.bsky.social

-I got us a cowch!
-Really!? Wait, you mean a couch?
-No
Picture- cow shaped black and white cow coloured couch
- I'm leaving you.

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

@t0kerfr0g.bsky.social

Azlancat @azlancat.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

Little Golden book cover- twin girls with blonde hair and matching clothes sitting on chair with dolls on their knees. Twin and doll on right are slightly side eying the twin on the left.
Title of book ‘I Wish I Ate You
IN THE WOMB’