Reposted by Austinrina @not.bsky.cool · 24/08/2026important to note that in my wedding vows i accused my husband of stealing my jokes 191
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 11/07/2026Don’t even fucking talk to me if you haven’t read A Pilgrim’s Progress 001
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 29/06/2026I have hateful terrible thoughts I cannot say out loud but believe me when I tell you a large portion of them center around Dave Ramsey 050
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 17/01/2026Getting paid biweekly really makes you miss being paid heteroweekly 020
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 07/01/2026Need my wife to wake up and take my phone cuz I wanna start posting radical political posts and she helps keep me grounded 010
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 13/12/2025“If God wanted beans to be in tacos he would’ve put them in there himself” Me, 2025 000
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 09/10/2025If I had 100 lives I would spend 98 of them on head on collisions with people who leave their brights on. The 99th would probably be me trying to make friends with a grizzly cuz bears are cool 130
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 07/10/202535MPH is the stupidest speed for a road. I hate it. Fuck you 010
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 29/09/2025Hate Vince completely but I would rock the hell out of that fleece he has on #bb27 000
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 11/08/2025Reposting this also trump is starting martial law in DC and if he thinks it works well he’s gonna try it in other large, blue cities across the country, I’m calling it now 020
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 11/08/2025Call me George Washington Carver the way I be playin with my nuts 110
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 18/07/2025Through the Fire and the Flames is unironically an insanely good song Also I heard there’s some WOMEN on here who like to FLIRT with my WIFE and now I have to spend more time on here to catch you 130
Reposted by Austinrina @not.bsky.cool · 02/07/2025a successful relationship needs two specific people the one who absolutely kills at karaoke and the one who would rather be killed than do karaoke 2181
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 20/06/2025My wife sent me a very pretty selfie and I am very lucky and I miss her 190
Reposted by Austinrina @not.bsky.cool · 17/05/2025being in a long distance relationship has been so difficult but it’s okay because i hear him in every single love song 0131
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 21/04/2025I have the prettiest wife in the whole world and I feel bad for anyone not in a relationship as happy as mine 120
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 19/03/2025I also cannot wait to black out and make a scene at WOWWAPAWOOZA 020
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 19/03/2025I cannot WAIT to follow my wife around the house and annoy her 230
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 10/03/2025My wife’s friends voted against her in a Dress To Impress competition and I see this as a call to arms 040
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 06/03/2025Can’t even be mad at the thirsty ass compliments my wife and her friends say to each other because me and my buddies regularly say some of the most vile, sinful, and horrid things to each other that the average heterosexual mind cannot even begin to fathom 230
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 25/02/2025Scrolling through the replies to my hot wife’s selfiesmedia.tenor.coma black and white cow with the words i have your ip address above itALT: a black and white cow with the words i have your ip address above it 031
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 17/02/2025Real shit if this administration starts selling off national park land to billionaires I will crash out hard 110
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 16/02/2025Sabrina is trying to chemically lobotomize me help help help 020
Reposted by Austinlukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 15/02/2025When you take your dog to an obedience class establish dominance by going up to the oldest dog there and teaching it a new trick 371994102
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 14/02/2025LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I, AUSTIN, HUSBAND OF SABRINA, WILL NOT CHANGE MY USERNAME UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AND THAT IF I DO, ITS BECAUSE SHES THREATENING ME 010
Austin @aubineb.bsky.social · 14/02/2025She not lyin, my attention span is too small to get my algorithm setup 030
