iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 14/03/2025

Looking for noise-cancelling paint

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

Does anyone know how to get around Venmo’s character limit?

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

Met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time tonight. Couldn’t have gone worse. Only goal was to make a good first impression and instead I accidentally walked in on her dad going to the bathroom 11 times in two hours.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 10/02/2025

Hell yes. Just hit a $900 prop bet (I bet my friend Luke that everyone at the party would have a good time and we’d leave thankful for one another’s friendship)

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

Stop using AI for customer service!!!

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

Blackout drunk. Screaming at my family that The Grinch was radicalized by the Whos’ own Whobris. "The Earth is littered with the ruins of empires that believed they were eternal". We ‘ve learned nothing from Iraq

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

F my brother-in-law. Christmas is supposed to be about of love and family. It is NOT about stopping dinner and demanding everyone put down their forks “until we find out who did that to the bathroom.” HE ruined Christmas. Not me.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

Waited too long to do my Christmas shopping and now only Walgreens is open. Fuck it. Everyone’s getting a knee brace.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

Hello. There is a new St. Denis Medical on NBC tonight at 8pm and streaming tomorrow on Peacock. It’s our Christmas episode so I used AI to edit this photo.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

Spent $29 on the @AMC Conclave popcorn bucket

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

Getting caught up on Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

Hello. There is a new St. Denis Medical on NBC tonight at 8pm and streaming tomorrow on Peacock.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 30/11/2024

The 19-year-olds who attend my favorite university didn’t score enough touchdowns today so I’m blackout drunk in the garage while my son takes his first steps. My wife begs me to look over but I’m staring at our roof, wondering if the height could break my legs. “No.” I whisper.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

Hate having to send these texts

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Elon Musk is worth $347,800,000,000. But our brains aren’t evolved to conceptualize numbers that big. So think of it like this: if I gave you $1 every day it would take 347,800,000,000 days to accumulate his net worth. Does that seem fair?

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Hello. There is a new St. Denis Medical on NBC tonight at 8pm and streaming tomorrow on Peacock.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

It's been three years but it feels like so much longer. Miss you every day, Grandma Gene. ❤️

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Reposted by Dan White

Gianmarco Soresi @gianmarcosoresi.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

I was diagnosed with ADHD this year (at age 36!!!) and here’s some of the signs I should have noticed sooner (🧵):

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Reposted by Dan White

Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 14/11/2024

Hi everyone. The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars. We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website. We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off. I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.

nytimes.com

The Onion Buys Alex Jones’s Infowars Out of Bankruptcy

The satirical news site planned to turn Infowars into a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities” who peddle conspiracy theories and health supplements.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 13/11/2024

Won’t buy a property with a pool.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 13/11/2024

Turns out there’s actually no speakeasy behind my laundromat. It was an lie my nephew told me and I spent $39 and 45 minutes trying to climb through every dryer in the fucking place.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 13/11/2024

This is what happens when I try to be vulnerable

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 04/07/2023

Everyone at this July 4th party is pissed at me because I keep explaining how “Born In The USA” is actually a sad song about a lack of social safety nets for US veterans and I diarrheaed in the pool twice.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 04/07/2023

So hard to write this. Today my soulmate became my angel. Tiphany passed away suddenly this morning while shopping. Her hat broke her neck.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 28/06/2023

Leaving out some cereal for my mailman.

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Dan White @atdanwhite.bsky.social · 26/06/2023

Technology has honestly made it so hard to make real friends.

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