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AshenSwift

@ashenswift.bsky.social
60 followers 102 following 311 posts

Shortbread Cookie, WarFrame Addict, Cat Lover, Anime Enthusiast. Apagender, any pronouns, polyarmorus, 36yo. Warning: ADHD shitposts and unhinged thoughts. PFP: @lotusenta.gay

PostsRepliesMedia
AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
ADHD thought of the day. Mx. Usually is pronounced "Mix", right? If there's a Mix, is there a Mixter? Sounds like such a cool title though.
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Dazzable (check 📌) @dazzable.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
If I get out of the hospital tomorrow and I found out that my dogs are out of food and it would be very helpful if I could get a donation or a commission so I can get them some food while I'm in town!! Please help a girl and her dogs out 🙏🏽🙏🏽
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Without my glasses, my vision is like playing a game at 72x48 with really aggressive anti-aliasing.
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cicadaqueenV @cicadaqueenv.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
It's the middle of the month, so bills are due. We don't have enough for rent for next month... On the bright side I've started a new medication so we'll see how that works out but we still need help. Please consider sharing and donating what you can. gofund.me/64ad02f20 #MutualAid #HelpSky 💸💕
gofund.me
Donate to Support Violet Through Her MECFS Struggle, organized by Violet Rin
Hello, my name is Violet. I've set up a couple of GoFundMe's in the past to hel… Violet Rin needs your support for Support Violet Through Her MECFS Struggle
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Of all her toys, the one Wrecker likes the most is a piece of string she tore off of one of her chew sticks.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Power's back, internet's back, woohoo
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
First an internet outage for basically all of New England. And then our power went out. Today is gonna be super fun I can tell.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Man, dunno what meteor hit them, but Fidium's EVERYTHING is out.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Ngl, I kinda miss the days of GameFly
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Got my @bonnicula.bsky.social mug in. Funny enough it got delivered yesterday in the newspaper box? Small print error on one side but otherwise a very good mug.
Picture of a mug with Bonnicula on it and the text "Good morning sunshine"Picture of the other side of the mug with Bonnicula on it and the text "Good morning sunshine" which is slightly cut off due to a printing error.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
*zoidberg voice* one friend please
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Foxes In Love @foxes-in-love.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, we watch as very shoddily drawn sketchy Green fox slowly comes together, becoming progressively more recognisable.

 Shoddy, sketchy Green fox stares in deep confusion as the ambiguous shape of Blue asks him an incomprehensible question.
Blue: [unintelligible words]?
Green: What?

Becoming clearer, Blue looks at Green, who is still thrown off, but now looks almost completely like himself.
Blue: I asked if you just woke up.
Green: Oh. No, not yet.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Dayum, I thought Onion was supposed to be satire, why they spitting truth?
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Gil Durán @gilduran.com · 12/07/2026
I was sunning by the pool when the boxes arrived. And here in my hand is my life’s work: “The Nerd Reich: Silicon Valley Fascism and the War On Democracy.” Coming 8/18. Pre-orders make a huge difference! Make a fascist sweat—pre-order today! www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Ne...
Gil Duran holding physical copy of Nerd Reich book
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
DE announcing partnership with Epic Games and Fortnite really wrecked me. 13 years and 4000 hrs in game, Reb Ford has been my Space Mom for almost as long as my real mother was mom. All that inclusivity and creativity, just to take the hand of deepfake defender Tim and his transphobic slop machine.
static.klipy.com
You Were The Chosen One! Iconic Shout
Alt: Animated GIF of Obi-wan from Starwars yelling at Anakin: "You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them!"
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Me: *takes a bite of chicken salad* My ADHD: "NO ETHICAL CONSUMPTION" Me: *chews slowly while squinting like the Fry meme*
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Never thought I'd have to walk a half mile round trip to ask the neighbors to turn down their music, but here I am.
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Dan Shive @danshive.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
One of the twisty things about being human is we don’t automatically know why we feel certain ways. “I like this.” “Why?” “Hang on. Just let me a cork board, string, pushpins, and a marker, and maybe we’ll figure this out.”
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
How do people make friends in 2026?
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
It's raining it's pouring the old man is about to be snoring as soon as he gets off his fucking phone and lays down to take a nap. It's me. I'm the old man.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
ADHD thought of the day: Is sex basically torrenting babies?
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Random internet question! Would you rather: A) have your fork/spoon fall into your food B) have your fork/spoon fall on the floor and why you chose your answer?
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
I am truly skilled. I have cut myself with dried taco sauce.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
Politics. Should be: "Which area needs improvement for the betterment of the nation and citizens?" Is: "What's in your pants? What's your skin tone?" Where the fuck are we even going anymore.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
TIL DoorDash delivery drivers undervalue themselves. Like, I've befriended some of them and they'll do some extra-curricular deliveries for me if I ask politely (always do), and when I pay them properly for their time, they tell me I give them too much. My standard is minimum wage ($15/hr).
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The Onion @theonion.com · 30/08/2025
White House Downplays Trump Hand Bruise As Least Concerning Part Of Body theonion.com/white-house-downplays-…
theonion.com
White House Downplays Trump Hand Bruise As Least Concerning Part Of Body
WASHINGTON—As they called attention to his alarmingly sallow complexion and rapidly deteriorating brain function, White House officials sought to quell speculation Monday over the bruising on Presiden...
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
Randomly reminded of the fact that to this day I still cannot grasp the usage of semicolons in English writing. (specified cause I know the code nerds out there gonna hit me if I don't. XD)
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 24/08/2025
@lotusenta.gay to me: "You're a carpenters wet dream, flat as a board, and easy to screw." My reply: "Does that mean furries are a carpenters nightmare? All the wood is knotted."
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
Conversation summary with @lotusenta.gay "It's 69 degrees outside." "Nice." "See, this is why we can't switch to celsius. Can't have 69 celsius outside and have it be nice." "No, 69c is just dead. Though death by 69 doesn't sound terrible."
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 12/08/2025
@bonnicula.bsky.social Hey Bonni, when're you planning on opening your new candy delivery + strippergram service? I heard it'll be called Bonni's Bonbons. XD <3
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 11/08/2025
No context quote post for the lulz
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Auntie Lotus 🌼💜 @lotusenta.gay · 01/08/2025
I managed to hit my overall $500 goal for #VTvsICE at the last minute thanks to a generous last-minute donation today. For my very first charity campaign, the fact that my community helped me raise this much for the ACLU was amazing. I am honored.
a green bar showing a $500 goal that is fully filled, with a gold dot and a blue dot
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 31/07/2025
Help bully Lotus for charity. Just $100 and we can watch them eat spicy dill pickle goldfish, tell ICE to fuck off, and you can earn bonus art! tiltify.com/@lotusenta/v...
tiltify.com
Tiltify - Made for Fundraisers
We give you the tools to engage with your donors and raise more for your charity
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 28/07/2025
If you think it'd be fire to be used like a cum dumpster, you might be a cumster fire. If you burn grilled cheese, you might be a lunchster fire. If you have heart burn, you have a tumster fire. If cheese gives you heartburn, you have a meunster fire. If you found these funny, you're a punster fire.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 22/07/2025
I guess Vshojo just learned the hard way... *shades* Why you don't fuck with the mouse.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 17/07/2025
Car conversations with @lotusenta.gay Lotus: "I bet if Jesus was alive in the modern world, he'd be a suspiciously wealthy furry that commissions porn artists."
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
Y'ever build yerself a literal physical wall of "problems for later you"? ....send help.
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daily bunnies 🐇✨ @dailybunnies.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
A small white bunny sleeps curled up on a brown surface. A hand beside it forms a heart shape.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
Bad game design idea: 3D skill web. It's a skill sphere.
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Auntie Lotus 🌼💜 @lotusenta.gay · 30/06/2025
Here's a clip of @ashenswift.bsky.social having a reaction to just *smelling* the pickle balls.
twitch.tv
Twitch
Twitch is the world
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
What is my brain but a miserable pile of adhd?
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
TFW being so tired and adhd that your brain start playing mad libs with your sentences
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Triple-Q @triple-q.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
Hot Coffee #art #GTA #talesof
Lloyd from Tales of Symphonia holding a hot cup of coffee, in front of an urbanscape. He's saying: "Here... it's hot coffee!"Carl "CJ" Johnson from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas holding a cup of hot coffee in front of an urbanscape. He does not look amused
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Auntie Lotus 🌼💜 @lotusenta.gay · 27/06/2025
I got my goal of $300 for #VTvsICE. I'm eating pickle balls. June 27th, 8:30pm eastern. FML. twitch.tv/lotusenta
screenshot of a fundraising goal showing $300 raised out of a $500 goal. there is a bar partway filled in green with a gold spot for one milestone and a blue spot for another.
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Auntie Lotus 🌼💜 @lotusenta.gay · 26/06/2025
My campaign for #VTvsICE is $16 away from our first milestone of $300. If I can get that today, I will be eating these hecking pickle balls tomorrow night live on stream with my facecam ON! charity.lotusenta.gay to donate! [ #vsky #vtuber #charity ]
A photograph of a bag of Vlasic Pickle Balls: Dill Pickle Flavored Corn Puffs. The puffs pictured on the bag are a very radioactive-looking shade of green.screenshot of a fundraising goal showing $284 raised out of a $500 goal. there is a bar partway filled in green with a gold spot for one milestone and a blue spot for another.
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
My one complaint about getting a Nissan: everyone still closes my car doors like it's a Jeep. Please be a little nicer to my vehicle...
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
In an infinite number of universes, there will always be a number of them where Massachusetts has conquered the world. In those, everyone is a Masshole. This thought brought to you by ADHD. "What was I saying again?"
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 08/06/2025
Random out of context @lotusenta.gay quote: "I don't care about the mouth penises." Y'know, reading this back makes it sound very different. XD
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AshenSwift @ashenswift.bsky.social · 17/05/2025
@lotusenta.gay ONLY SIX AWAY FROM PLASTIC DUCK DEATH BATTLES (RPG mode on Watch Your Plastic Duck) www.twitch.tv/lotusenta
Lotusenta's twitch profile, currently live, at 494 followers.
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