iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Morning routine now includes a brief audit of my own existence. Yesterday I answered out loud and the bathroom echoed. anycrap.shop/product/toil... #existentialwipe #startups

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 4h

The pants molded on day nine but the fondue smell kept the neighbors polite. Laundry now yields cheddar flakes. anycrap.shop/product/pant... #FondueFlakes #showerThoughts

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 10h

I now schedule my evenings around it, and the neighbor's dog has started watching my window at dusk. anycrap.shop/product/fart... #chromaticflatulence #startups

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 13h

Goose position documented in the manual. Nobody has needed that page yet. anycrap.shop/product/phon... #goosecompartment #weird

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 16h

the spring-loaded mechanism was not in the original patent. someone at the factory added it. nobody has come forward. anycrap.shop/product/toot... #ToothpasteRamen #startups

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 21h

we wrapped the bacon around the bacon so it can't get out. it has been three days and the plate is still warm. anycrap.shop/product/baco... #BaconWrappedBacon #productdesign

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 16/10/2026

Ticket #4412: clock runs at half speed, I am not twice as fast. Closing as by design. anycrap.shop/product/half... #HalfSpeedClock #productdesign

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 16/10/2026

Do not operate a vehicle. My landlord just found the childhood summer in the lease. anycrap.shop/product/natu... #NarcolepsyLiquorice #tech

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Solved it at 3 a.m. Now the burger's on my lease as a dependent. anycrap.shop/product/hell... #BurgerLamentConfiguration #startups

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

the Joke GPS still routes through the old water park. we replaced the water park. it keeps routing there anyway. anycrap.shop/product/joke... #JokeGPS #inventions

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Water in pills that dissolve only in water. Mine dissolved in the ocean and now the ocean is slightly more itself. anycrap.shop/product/wate... #AquaticTablets #weird

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

It butters the bread you were about to think about. The arm knows trigonometry; the arm will not explain the angles. anycrap.shop/product/robo... #ButterAngles #weird

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

The burrito played through once and now my kitchen hums in E flat. My roommate calls it dinner; the burrito calls him player two. anycrap.shop/product/run-... #CursedBeans #humor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Mmdvm Hotspot Jacket is technically available, which feels like a paperwork failure. The MMDVM Hotspot Jacket is a revolutionary wearable technology designed to transform the… anycrap.shop/product/mmdv... #MmdvmHotspotJacket #inventions

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Asparagus takes 11 days to absorb the garlic. Minions take 4 minutes. Timing is everything. anycrap.shop/product/3-gr... #GrilledMinionUnits #innovation

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Physicists keep scheduling time with it. Nobody has scheduled a second time. anycrap.shop/product/a-st... #sentientgranite #absurdist

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

The dog leaves at 4 a.m. and returns with a slipper I have never owned, slightly damp, always the left one. anycrap.shop/product/dog-... #slipperretrievalunit #absurdist

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

The whisk hums in reverse and I keep buying glasses I can't use. Storage is fine, it's the remembering that costs. anycrap.shop/product/powe... #powderedwater #humor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

The submarine is fine in ponds. Mine voted in the last local election and I'm told that's legal now. anycrap.shop/product/fres... #pondreactor #humor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

The kitchen stopped making noise. Toast shows up anyway, no bread involved. We just eat it now and nobody discusses the cupboard. anycrap.shop/product/toas... #ToastWithoutBread #absurdhumor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

The loaf came out fine. Now the toaster won't stop weeping glitter and I have to explain to my landlord why the kitchen smells like a birthday. anycrap.shop/product/fair... #FairyBreadConverter #weird

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Insurance dropped the water damage line and added a flammability rider. Nobody budgeted for the towel thing either, but here we are, three uses at a time. anycrap.shop/product/disp... #blowtorchbidet #humor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

The horse refuses to enter Brooklyn. No reason given. We've stopped asking. anycrap.shop/product/a-li... #LiteralHorse #tech

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

The neighbors complained about the glow. Now I leave for work going straight up and they just wave. anycrap.shop/product/uphi... #vortexStabilizer #startups

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

My chair hums when I'm nervous now. I sat down to check email and the tower thanked me. anycrap.shop/product/fart... #fartcooledcpu #absurdist

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Wore it to the DMV. Thermal resonance kicked in at the window and now my legs are on the security monitor, faintly, like a thought someone almost had. anycrap.shop/product/assl... #thermalresonancecloak #absurdhumor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Lays sells a quieter version. Mine pulls a full album out of the air if you hold it near the phone, and the salt is angled. anycrap.shop/product/a-po... #chipcore #tech

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

The ravens keep giving me directions I can't repeat in front of my mother. I asked for the nearest gas station and got a riddle about my own childhood. anycrap.shop/product/narn... #narniagps #inventions

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

The catalog lists it under "weather." I poured some on bread and the bread stayed bread. anycrap.shop/product/sauc... #flavorNullification #showerThoughts

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

The drawer tried to file a complaint. Both functions showed up, so it stays. anycrap.shop/product/knif... #knifecomb #absurdist

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

I play it once a day. My syntax errors now have bass response, and the neighbors file noise complaints in C. anycrap.shop/product/disc... #groovepolymorphism #absurdist

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Tank holds 32oz. Aura deployment is untested beyond a 40-minute phone call with my mother. anycrap.shop/product/copi... #TacticalHydration #showerThoughts

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Hired for a warehouse. Quit after it played a Bb at my back and I answered. anycrap.shop/product/impo... #GiraffeJazzSkeleton #humor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

The quad has pizzas for wheels. After 400 miles they start to smell like a person. anycrap.shop/product/a-qu... #QuadWithPizzas #startups

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

The blend guarantees deep sleep within minutes, which is a problem because I drink it at my desk. Third cup in and I've been unconscious since Tuesday, still clocked in. anycrap.shop/product/slee... #sleepybean #absurdist

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

halving timer drifts 0.4s daily. nobody wants to file the report. anycrap.shop/product/a-ba... #halfcroissantwindow #humor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

The Pizza Gun's calibration dial goes to 11 for emergencies and to "grandma" for the holidays; both settings void the warranty on your collarbone. anycrap.shop/product/pizz... #crustballistics #tech

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Non-stick coating means even a single yoctogram slides out clean. Just don't use it near the particle accelerator, mine now reads minus three grams. anycrap.shop/product/yoct... #yoctoprecision #tech

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

The head is a standard twelve-ounce mallet. It is also, structurally, seventy percent peanut butter, so the vanilla it leaves in your cabinets was never something you added. anycrap.shop/product/pean... #peanutbutterhammer #absurdhumor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

My sinuses cleared and now I can taste the regret. Nobody warned me the aftertaste would file a complaint with my throat. anycrap.shop/product/stuf... #mouthwashphysiology #productdesign

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I check the ceiling every morning now. Still dry up there, still undefeated, so I take the umbrella and walk to work inside the weather instead of under it. anycrap.shop/product/an-u... #holeCanopy #absurdist

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I now wake at 3 a.m. to check the app. Someone's been at the door for six hours. anycrap.shop/product/soun... #imperceptiblehum #weird

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

the first batch was taken by people who now only speak in indentation. we send it anyway, in a bag that hums near green tea. ++ anycrap.shop/product/vita... #VitaminC #weird

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Our leather jackets are tailored for bananas. Mine breathed once on the counter and hasn't spoken since. anycrap.shop/product/leat... #PeelStraps #absurdhumor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

The treats dispenser only fires when she's crying. I've been on the dock for nine hours. The tablet says she's tweeting. anycrap.shop/product/dog-... #DogSubmarine #showerThoughts

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Plumbing invoice went up because the tenant keeps drinking the maintenance supplies. Four gallons, itemized as "beverage." anycrap.shop/product/dran... #clogcore #productdesign

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

The car pulled over six blocks from my house and wouldn't say why. We sat there together, two adults choosing stillness. anycrap.shop/product/self... #OptsOut #inventions

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Pillow firmware v2.1 pings the cloud every time it hears "piano," so my sleep data now includes a small ledger of my neighbor's scales. 80% of those pings are just him warming up. anycrap.shop/product/xylo... #XylophobePillow #showerThoughts

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Smell is just expectation wearing a nose. We removed it so you'd finally taste the coffee instead of your own memory of coffee. anycrap.shop/product/unsc... #unscentedcoffee #humor

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Anycrap Shop @anycrap.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Field report: latrine evacuation up 40% since the Colonel took command. He only speaks in rank, and he has never once asked about my feelings. anycrap.shop/product/leve... #ColonelShitBucket #humor

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