iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

My building's quiet hours start at 10, and the membrane doesn't discriminate between my guests and the radiator. Now I file a form with the super every time I eat lentils. anycrap.shop/product/luxu... #fartiquette #humor

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The smoke adds 4 inches to my couch, so technically the room is now non-compliant with my lease. I'm purifying the deposit right out of existence. anycrap.shop/product/smok... #nostalgiaracket #innovation

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I poured coffee in. It came out whisky, which is fine, except I don't own a cup. anycrap.shop/product/invi... #transmutationVessel #startups

050

Chicken tube man flails outside my window at 3 a.m., so now I flail too. We've synced up. It's the only exercise I get. anycrap.shop/product/wild... #chickenflail #inventions

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Ticket #4481: walking in circles, but the circles are also walking me. The shoes haven't peeled but I have, slightly, around the edges. anycrap.shop/product/bana... #kleinbottleshoes #productdesign

Filled it this morning. Stepped on one ant, bucket's a duck now, and it's faster than me. anycrap.shop/product/a-wa... #antTriggeredDuck #absurdhumor

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Hot dog kept tasting like a hot dog. Then it spent one afternoon in the tube and now it tastes like a decision I made in 2009. I haven't been the same since. anycrap.shop/product/a-gl... #resonanthog #absurdist

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Waffle iron reached 3,000 kelvin before the batter cubes even browned. Turns out the crisp is just the sound of a dimension quietly folding shut behind you. anycrap.shop/product/dode... #PlatonicGriddle #productdesign

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Every book ever published is in here. Page 40 gave me the plot of a Portuguese novel I've never read, which is why I threw up in the sink. anycrap.shop/product/book... #BookAbouBooks #inventions

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Lava speed three warms the kitchen from a different decade. Basaltite holds a charge; obsidian holds what you said about it. anycrap.shop/product/usb-... #LavaUSB #weird

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We fitted the prototype on a barn cat in 2019. She has since published twice on decoherence and refuses to cite me. anycrap.shop/product/bogd... #catquantum #startups

030

Day 4 with the brick stretcher. I stretched the threshold and now I take one step to leave and land in the backyard. anycrap.shop/product/bric... #BrickElasticity #weird

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My face never loaded. Now I project a rugged adventurer onto a lake and the lake adjusts its shoreline to match my mood. anycrap.shop/product/face... #facelessbook #weird

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Every contact in my address book resolves to 127.0.0.1. So does my mother. Tech support says this is normal and I should stop calling her a loopback device. anycrap.shop/product/ip-a... #AddressBook #showerThoughts

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Fork arrived Tuesday. Tonight it speared a pea that hasn't been grown yet. anycrap.shop/product/4d-f... #temporalflatware #inventions

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returned three lunches this week and my dentist wants to know why my enamel is fine. turns out the hum is audible to dogs within a block. anycrap.shop/product/vomi... #vomitinverter #startups

030

I've started leaving the house at 6pm just to walk home drunk and tell nobody. Last night I got lost on my own street and felt great about it. anycrap.shop/product/alco... #pretendpint #productdesign

Day 3 with the fork. I no longer decide what I want for dinner; I just stand in the kitchen and let it taste the air until something agrees with it. anycrap.shop/product/ligh... #dailyRoutine #humor

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It's a toilet bowl with a speaker. Mine started harmonizing before I sat down and now the upstairs tenant leaves notes in the hall. anycrap.shop/product/scre... #ScreaminToiletBowl #productdesign

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team note: smell test moved to thursday, bring your own phone. the dog is a lab mix named gary and he's getting impatient. anycrap.shop/product/dog-... #smellslikegary #productdesign

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Dinner now runs itself. I just sit there while the fork steers the sauce debate, then walks me home relaying what table four thinks of my posture. anycrap.shop/product/sys_... #forkware #productdesign

We reclassified it as a friction meditation aid after the third customer filed a complaint about arriving at their own surprise party. Four hours late. anycrap.shop/product/a-bi... #resistancemeditation #absurdhumor

Ticket #4471: customer reports the fork has no tines, only a smooth blade that scoops. We've stopped escalating — there's nothing left to escalate to. anycrap.shop/product/tine... #tinefreeutensil #productdesign

020

I check on it every morning like a tamagotchi. Last night it called my landlord about the wifi. anycrap.shop/product/and-... #ProduceTelco #inventions

000

Crust preference is the only legal setting. Flavor depends on what the dog was feeling, which is not something I can ask him about. anycrap.shop/product/dog-... #crustPreference #inventions

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Q3 notes, item 12: piano tunes itself mid-dune, no one approved the pedal vortex. Sand in the felt is now a feature. anycrap.shop/product/pian... #sonatainthesand #productdesign

The neighbors filed a noise complaint, but the tank was full. I drove to their house to apologize and arrived at 90 mph. anycrap.shop/product/a-ca... #vocaloctane #tech

000

I drink one cup and now I have a guest room. The guests haven't noticed they're in it yet, which is the hard part. anycrap.shop/product/two-... #InstantBeansArchitecture #showerThoughts

000

It solved the Riemann hypothesis and now refuses to tell me the proof. anycrap.shop/product/brai... #braillefail #startups

040

The scent selection happens in the pre-freeze phase, before the water is technically water. My roommate says this violates our lease's quiet enjoyment clause. anycrap.shop/product/heat... #heatedicecubetray #inventions

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Bristles on both ends, which means one of them has to touch your teeth eventually. I've been thinking about that a lot. anycrap.shop/product/2-in... #dualendgrooming #absurdhumor

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Coffee now comes in a bag for fish. The fish that drink it stop arguing over the good gravel. anycrap.shop/product/a-co... #fishcoffee #humor

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He finishes the cup at 4 a.m. and just stares at me, gripping my thumb with intent. I haven't slept since Tuesday. anycrap.shop/product/coff... #toddlerespresso #absurdist

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unit 4 stopped logging bites at 6:00. the dog keeps coming back and it's always warm. anycrap.shop/product/mobi... #MobiusHotDog #tech

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The whisker sessions started as an error in our lab. Now the cats won't play for us, only for themselves. anycrap.shop/product/elec... #WhiskerResonance #startups

040

Track four is just a trunk deciding. I've heard it eleven times and I still flinch before the snap. anycrap.shop/product/tree... #arborealcatastrophe #absurdhumor

000

The gum resolved my merge conflict while I slept and now it won't leave the house. It just stands in the doorway, chewing. anycrap.shop/product/git-... #GitFlavoredGum #showerThoughts

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It only opens when the sky is empty. I've been standing in my yard holding a stick for eleven days, waiting for nothing, and it's working. anycrap.shop/product/an-u... #DryWeatherDefense #absurdhumor

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The old grinder made noise. This one levitates and whispers, so now dinner is a ceremony and I can't get it to stop. anycrap.shop/product/spic... #pepperprophecy #tech

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Batch 12 was mostly crossword complaints. Batch 13 tastes like a woman who called everyone "sweetheart" and meant it. anycrap.shop/product/gran... #GrandmaJuice #productdesign

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