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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

$1.8B is VERY real money. • WH Ballroom & East Wing: $927M • Qatar Jet Upgrades: $400M • Kennedy Center Overhaul: $285M • The trump Arch: $100M • National Garden of American Heroes: $40M • WH Helipad: $40M • New TV Ads: $20M • Reflecting Pool: $19M • Gilding Statues: $5.1M • Rose Garden: $1.9M

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

(A) He’s not “giving” anyone $99 dollars. It’s OUR money. Taxpayer money. (B) What happened to the $2000 Tariff Rebate checks? (C) What happened to the $5000 DOGE Dividend checks?

yahoo.com

Trump announces a new ‘slush fund’ to send checks to 20 million Americans

The pledge comes weeks before the midterms, when Republicans could lose control of Congress

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Before today, Senator Eric Schmitt was barely a blip on the national radar. Now, he’s universally known as the guy who brought a deflated basketball to a legal knife fight and somehow managed to trip over his own shoelaces. Bravo Senator Klobuchar. Bravo.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Oh, thank goodness! It turns out a corrupt CEO just randomly loved Collins’ work on the Senate Appropriations Committee so much he built a whole shell company to show his support!

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

First he turned the Reflecting Pool puke-green, and now he’s triggered a total Press Pool blackout. At this point, the man hasn't drained the swamp, he's just running the worst pool maintenance company in American history. Not surprising.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

"The laws of economics" have entered the chat. Crazy how we expect everyday citizens to balance a budget while the government runs on a permanent "buy now, pay never" plan. The bill always comes due eventually.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Can’t wait for the 2028 documentaries about how LeBron and Jeter "had no idea" how prediction markets actually worked. History doesn’t repeat itself, but it sure loves a celebrity cash-grab sequel. 🍿📉 #Polymarket #CryptoDejaVu

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

RFK Jr‘s official financial disclosures (submitted during his government confirmation hearings) revealed his gross assets between $8.6 million and $33.4 million - so he really needed those free flights. He also owns three homes - so he obviously needed a luxury rental for free as well.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

It’s Fox News. They’d still make room for the ”War on Christmas”

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Honestly, after the breakfast I just ordered the math probably checks out.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

That’s not a political rally turnout. That’s the attendance of a Tuesday night junior high school volleyball game.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

An “all-time high of $23.59 per barrel.” - That’s wild, because it’s still cheaper than what Uber charges me to go three miles in the rain.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Pennsylvania is literally having to force RFK Jr.’s CDC to admit that dead people are actually dead. We’ve officially entered the "redacting the body count to cure the disease" phase of public health. #Measles

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Benjamin Franklin’s famous response upon leaving the Constitutional Convention in 1787 - when asked whether the founders had created a republic or a monarchy - replied, "A republic, if you can keep it."

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

De Haan suggests we “buckle up” but at these prices nobody is driving anywhere.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Ugh. If Senator McConnell saw this, he would roll over in his grave … if they would just bury him already.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Congress will work. In fact they are hard at work doing what they care about most: asking Americans for money so they can get re-elected to not vote on things for another two years.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Senator Katie Britt has perfectly demonstrated the gold standard of modern political math: Tariffs are 100% amazing for the American economy, right up until they apply to the state that votes for you.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

After a 5 week summer vacation, Congress bravely powered through a grueling two-week work session just to ensure they had enough stamina for their upcoming seven-week vacation.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

If ordinary Americans worked at the same ratio of "weeks on" to "weeks off" as Congress does, the entire U.S. economy would run for about 12 days a year.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

According to Bloomberg, trump has made more stock trades than all of Congress COMBINED. trump or his money managers made nearly 28,700 trades btwn the time of his second inauguration and the end of June 2026. During that same period, Capitol Hill lawmakers reported about 22,200 transactions.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

If by “breathtaking“ they mean “expensive AF”, then yes.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Sorbo is kinda right. Our country is definitely ready for a good president. #784daysAndCounting

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Awesome. My prize for surviving this season of Global Geopolitics: The Simulation is a $75 tank of gas and a grocery receipt that looks like a mortgage payment. Can't wait to see how the next butterfly flapping its wings in Eurasia completely vaporizes the affordability of my morning coffee.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Yet another example of a simple truth: if trump actually had to live in trump’s America instead of his bubble, he’d move.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Yes, the same 7-month deal request told over and over. Here’s the pattern: Sun: Great Iran deal coming tease Mon: Iran badly wants a deal! Tue: Deal’s off. Wed: Already won. Thu: Not a "war." Fri: Iran crying for a new deal. Sat: Golfing. Sun: Great Iran deal coming tease

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Here’s the $12,000 you will NEVER see: $2k tariff rebate $5k DOGE dividend $5k midterm payoff Don't spend it all in one imaginary place!

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Here’s the $12,000 you will NEVER see: $2k tariff rebate - killed by basic economics $5k DOGE dividend - evaporated with the hype $5k midterm payoff - a carrot dangling entirely on your vote Don't spend it all in one imaginary place! 🤡 #TrumpDividend #DOGE #trump #TheEconomy

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

We spent decades worrying about sophisticated AI and rogue cyber-hackers taking down national security, only to find out America's greatest military vulnerability is a free flashlight app that wants to know your location.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

At this rate, watching the numbers spin at the pump feels like checking the national debt clock … except it’s coming out of my checking account.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Major companies using “cheap, freely available artificial intelligence models” sounds like The plot of a terrible sci-fi disaster film.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

The term "America's attic" was coined by Canadian author and journalist Robertson Davies.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Just so we're clear on the administration's 2026 glossary: Re-routing global energy sectors & risking American lives = "Small potatoes." Trump's hurt feelings on any given Tuesday = A national emergency.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Wouldn’t we all be happy if the Pentagon leaker was “Major Leak Hunt“

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Just so we're clear on the administration's 2026 glossary: ❌ Re-routing global energy sectors & risking American lives = "Small potatoes." 🥔 Trump's hurt feelings on any given Tuesday = A national emergency. 🚨

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Mitch McConnell would be rolling over in his grave if he saw that. And of course if they buried him already.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Who had America’s attic turning into a trade fortress on their 2026 bingo card? Check your boards. 🎯 #TradeWar #Canada #USPolitics #Economy #Tariffs

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

“she is “doing a very, very good job” and is “very highly respected” - trump talking about Venezuela’s interim president, Delcy Rodríguez 9/2/26 Meanwhile on planet Earth: a survey, conducted last month and cited by the WSJ, found Rodríguez has a 90% disapproval rating. trump will lie abt anything

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

$250 million breaks down to roughly $685,000 EVERY SINGLE DAY, including weekends and holidays.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

trump Foreign Policy Cycle Sun: Great Iran deal coming tease. Mon: Moving smoothly. Tue: TACO Tuesday, deal’s off. Wed: We already won the war. Thu: It’s not a "war." Fri: Iran crying for a new deal. Sat: Golfing. Doesn’t care about Iran anymore. Sun: Repeat.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Bu…bu…bu…JD Vance, just yesterday, said it’s not a “war”

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Fetterman spends far too much time on tv and in podcasts talking about the job of being an elected official than actually doing the job of an elected official. He’s missed 13% of votes since becoming a senator. The historical lifetime median of missed votes is 2.8% for currently serving senators.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

War? It’s not a war. - This is like like when I tell my doctor I don't drink 'beer,' I just enjoy 'fermented barley smoothies.'

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Notice how the collective pronoun "we" quickly shifts to the singular "me" depending entirely on the outcome of the war. There‘s nothing more trump than that.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Just a reminder. Lutnick in 2025 on Fox News: “So think about it, these AI things, they suck water and they need water and so they need a plumber, but not a 'plumber' plumber, they need, like, an HVAC specialist that starts at $100,000.”

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Maria finally found a chart line that crashed harder than a tech stock: Fox’s patience with her multi-billion-dollar election lawsuits.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Getting rid of Maria is the ultimate market correction.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Nothing says "peak military dominance" quite like a massive government agency immediately retreating from its own hormone policy.

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Headlines & Punchlines @anonymoussource.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Wall Street is playing a global game of "The Floor is Lava" with government bonds, and your wallet is the one getting burned. 🔥 🔥 🔥

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