Reposted by AndyJason K Pargin, author @jasonkpargin.bsky.social · 7hI always wondered how much Dr. Loomis billed the insurance for this 712311
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 06/10/2026The Social Network. I distinctly remember Mark Zuckerberg talking about editing a Perl script, and anyone that knows anything about Perl knows that it’s a write-only language 3113
Reposted by AndyTed Leo 🍉 @tedleo.bsky.social · 11/09/20259/11 this, 9/11 that; some of y’all need to put down the 9 ELVEN rings gifted to the race of men, who above all else, desire power <send> 221466345
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 29/08/2026Watching ESPN Jeopardy and this comes on and I know @grammarous.bsky.social knows it 371
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 18/08/2026I have a Letterboxd list of movies I have no interest in seeing. Love, Actually was one of the reasons I started keeping the list. 050
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Had this scene living in my head for a few days now. I think it’s mostly hearing about Big Bend that broke me this time. I’ve never been there. I guess I better go pretty soon or I may not be able to.static.klipy.comTerminator 2: 'We're Not Gonna Make It?'ALT: Terminator 2: 'We're Not Gonna Make It?' 000
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 13/08/2026She’s mostly named after her. The show is why the name was in our heads. 050
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 12/08/2026It’s too hot to have the fan on low, too cool to have it on medium 110
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 27/07/2026There once was a man from Nantucket named Enis He spent a lot of time filing defamation lawsuits 030
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 20/07/2026“I spoke to Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes today” “What did you say?” 050
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 19/07/2026It sounds to us like they’re trying to silence the boos on Telemundo; what do y’all think? #WorldCup 010
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 19/07/2026I did not think they’d give Argentina a red card there but if Spain capitalizes in the next 2 minutes this will suddenly be an all-timer of a game 010
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 19/07/2026Argentina is playing like a team that knows they’re not favored, and with good reason, and is trying to foul their way to victory, knowing the ref can’t give cards for all of them, and if they get away with the win today, it will be tainted #WorldCup 030
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 17/07/2026My first R-rated movie in a theater was Good Morning, Vietnam. I would have been 7. Not sure if it was my first one ever, though. A lot of the adult humor went over my head. It wasn’t the first time I heard bad words, though. I wasn’t traumatized. 000
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 16/07/2026Trump is going to end his political career having never won a race against a man and you know that just galls him every time he thinks about it Which I hope is a lot 010
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 15/07/2026I don’t think I’ve ever rooted against a soccer team as much as I’ll be rooting against Argentina this weekend 110
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 15/07/2026@grammarous.bsky.social did you see that? The ref actually gave Argentina a card!! Can you believe it?! 110
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 11/07/2026Well of COURSE it sounds awful when you frame it THAT way 000
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Shame they had to disallow that goal; it was a thing of beauty #WorldCup 010
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Something I’m curious about for anyone else watching the World Cup on Telemundo…is Noruega too close to Noriega for comfort? 100
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 30/06/2026That was one of the craziest shootouts I’ve ever seen #WorldCup 020
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 11/06/2026I feel like we say this a lot nowadays are we in the apocalypse 020
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 05/06/2026Twice this week we have turned on the Astros game and they’ve coughed up a crooked number immediately. I feel like it’s a sign. 010
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Very excited for Ken Paxton’s campaign and supporting PACs to release a bunch of ads that are giving “Sideshow Bob for mayor” this summer and fall 010
Reposted by Andygwen howerton @kissphoria.bsky.social · 27/05/2026John Cornyn tried reading Art of the Deal, going to Trump Burger, proposed renaming a Texas highway after him. He ate so much shit for Donald Trump and now he's out of a job, anyway. I wrote about it: www.chron.com/texas/articl...chron.comAll the ways John Cornyn painfully debased himself for Trump's endorsementTexas' soon-to-be-ex senior senator lost both his reelection campaign and any dignity he had left. 851849422
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Two years ago: “I wish Ted Cruz weren’t the worst senator in Texas”static.klipy.comMonkeys Paw GrabsALT: Monkeys Paw Grabs 021
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Nick Allen would be the shortest guy on the other 29 baseball teams but not his current one wouldn’t he 000
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 24/05/2026Reposting from Threads: “Of course there were gun shots at the White House. The place has really gone to shit since they let a felon move into the neighborhood.” 050
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 13/05/2026There is no way that Ben hasn’t ever used the phrase “it’s a free country” to describe why he did or didn’t want to do something, and I’m guessing he doesn’t see the irony in that even though it’s right in his fucking face 010
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 08/05/2026Hope I remember this the next time someone talks about what a shithole the south is 151
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 07/05/2026I feel like I’m the only person in the world that still doesn’t have a podcast and I’m not going to start one so stop asking 200
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 29/04/2026I’m not linking to that shit but apparently there’s some discussion on here about whether we should start smoking again and the answer is absolutely the fuck not 490
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 20/04/2026We got fucked over by what we’re assuming was a rage-quitting dasher and proceeded to eat an entire bag of Taco Bell. So how’s your night going? 320
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 18/04/2026Hey #Astros fans, why is France pitching out of the pen right now? 200
Reposted by AndyMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 14/04/2026"The Vatican is in desperate need of criminal justice reform. As of today, any criminal can walk into the Vatican, confess to any crime, immediately be forgiven, and walk out with zero consequences." www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/vat...mcsweeneys.netVatican City is Overrun with Crime Thanks to Its Woke Pope“The Vatican is in desperate need of criminal justice reform. As of today, any criminal can walk into the Vatican, confess to any crime, immediately be forgi... 6395128
Andy @andyswaff.bsky.social · 15/04/2026Far be it for me to opine on the idea of papal inerrancy but between the guy who’s been studying Catholicism all his life and whose peers elevated him to the highest office, and the guy who “converted” a few years ago when it was politically convenient for him, I’ll take the former every time 010
Reposted by AndyClaire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 15/04/2026I’ve given this a great deal of thought, trying to come up with the perfect joke for this moment, and this is what I have so far - POPE LEO: our religion teaches that this war is bad VANCE: wow, who died and made YOU head of the Catholic Church?? POPE LEO: well, you should know, you were there 5650691178
