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Sexy Plato's Cave

@andrewblair.co.uk

975 followers 621 following 8.9K posts

Software developer, poet, and only ever person to not be wrong about Doctor Who. Writer of 'The R-Pattz Facttz 2020' and 'polblar Tmolkop'. I was the first person to see comedy potential in the Vengabus. He/him andrewblair.co.uk

Posts Replies Media

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 13/10/2026

Tag yourself, I’m Scoffing.

Sign at Bamburgh Castle:

THERE WERE MANY REASONS FOR BEING PLACED IN THE STOCKS.

SABBATH-BREAKING
REVILING
GAMBLING
BEING DRUNK
SINGING BALLADS
FORTUNE TELLING
WIFE BEATING OR HAVING
TOO MANY WIVES
HEDGE-TEARING
DERISION
SCOFFING
CONTEMPTUOUS PUBLICITY
PERSONAL OBLOQUY
OVERSLEEPING
JESTING

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 09/10/2026

Gone on holiday and I think this hotel is haunted by George Michael

Soap and a box of tissues, labelled “Carex” and “Whisper” respectively

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 07/10/2026

Epic handshake meme

“Magneto” shakes hands with “the former Queen” over “weird tension with Charles”

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 07/10/2026

A yellow background, with the words 'Let's partake in arseworm discourse' written on it.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 06/10/2026

I’ll stop now

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 05/10/2026

I am, in many ways, a basic bitch

A list of 9 albums I like:
100 Broken Windows - Idlewild
Kid A - Radiohead
Young Team - Mogwai
The Magic Place - Julianna Barwick
mclusky Do Dallas - mclusky
Blue - Joni Mitchell
Loveless - My Bloody Valentine
Biokinetics - Porter Ricks
Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain - Pavement

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 05/10/2026

The Kandyman: a monster made of sweets from the Doctor Who story “The Happiness Patrol”

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 03/10/2026

Fraser Wright, in yellow, surrounded by Dundee United players who are annoyed at him for lightly decimating their teammate. Wright is clearly delighted even as the ref sends him off.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 30/09/2026

Fuck yeah late birthday presents

Two books
Folkish by Kym Deyn
David Whitaker biography by Simon Guerrier

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 30/09/2026

Fair point. I would like to suggest a solution

Vicki, a Doctor Who companion who isn't shit.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 30/09/2026

Fuck you, passive-aggressive contact lens box

A box of contact lenses with “hello it’s great to see you - boots opticians” written on it

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 29/09/2026

if anyone's thinking about having children I can save you some time

Screengrab of email.
Sender: Innoflate
Subject: FREE Child Offer Extended!

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 27/09/2026

Chewbacca, the big tall dog monkey guy from Star Wars, saying “Better things aren’t possible”

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 27/09/2026

Just to remind you all that Chewbacca “remains decidedly apolitical”

From the Star Wars Visual Encyclopaedia:

CHEWBACCA
Having spent more than two centuries witnessing the rise and fall of darkness in the galaxy, Chewbacca remains decidedly apolitical. His focus is always his family, whether related by blood or by the bonds of friendship. Human lifespans are much shorter than those of Wookiees, and Chewie has had to say goodbye to many humans over the course of his long life.
But he carries their spirit with him, heartened by the knowledge that his companionship has enriched their lives to some degree. Chewie's honor family now encompasses Rey, Poe, and Finn, for each of these new-generation heroes have meant so much to Han and Leia.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 24/09/2026

The new Hibs manager, overwhelmed by his surroundings.

From The Simpsons: Smithers holds a gun to Tom Jones' back, and says 'That's it, big smile, everybody's happy'

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 24/09/2026

New Hibs manager is giving off “I’ve made a huge mistake”

Marink Reedijk standing in front of a stand of green seats, wearing a green scarf with the Hibs FC. Badge and a facial expression that suggests the first dawnings of regret

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 23/09/2026

happy bisexuality awareness day

A cover of Newsweek featuring three people standing together, shadow across their faces. The cover strapline reads: 'Bisexuality: not gay, not straight, a new sexual identity emerges'
Photoshopped over this - extremely well, you'd have to say - is an image of Spider-man with his spider-sense going off.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 21/09/2026

wait a second

An advert for a sex toy that resembles an evil penguin, all the more so when you add a red rubber glove to the image.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 18/09/2026

me reading your suggestions for how to save Doctor Who

A very annoyed looking Benedict Cumberbatch

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 18/09/2026

me reading your posts

Benedict Cumberbatch making his face all angry and somehow looking like someone photoshopped his eyes onto the bloke who plays Reacher

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 16/09/2026

Doing @ptbopoetry.bsky.social tomorrow if anyone is in Edinburgh

Me, on a small hill on a snowy day, simultaneously reading two poetry books because I’m just that good.
Text reads:
Reading at Rock the Boat, Thursday 17TH, Wee Red Bar

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 14/09/2026

@brambrella.bsky.social Is this accurate?

Screengrab of Kobo's website that is categorising Colin's poetry book as non-fiction.

100

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 14/09/2026

Big fan of this Sontaran in The Invasion of Time who tries to shoot the TARDIS and then just goes 'what the fuck man'

A large blue box with 'Police Box' written on it - the TARDIS, in a large grey room with stairs leading from it. Two alien soldiers in armour wordlessly show their dismay at being unable to zap it by shrugging.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 13/09/2026

No, it's one.

Text: There's only one goal in it, that's nothing.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 10/09/2026

found this cool photo of Mick Hucknall

a blurry image of a haunted looking doll in dirty ragged clothes, with big ginger hair and a melted looking face

000

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 10/09/2026

The infant Mick Hucknall

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 10/09/2026

what's wrong with doom scrolling?

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 09/09/2026

vampire bites Santa

Black background. Image of a pencil with blood dripping from it.
Text: write a horror story using only 3 words.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 08/09/2026

Me, @dashmundosky.bsky.social and @josherick3.bsky.social are playing our first gig on Friday at Leith Depot, so I’ve made a handy synopsis of how that will look and sound

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 07/09/2026

My cat has taken to sleeping beneath my desk while I’m working and I can’t say I’m against it

Beloved handsome idiot cat all curled up with his leg stretched out

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 03/09/2026

Screengrab of newsfeed. Text reads:
16.55 BST
Five minutes to go.
What an afternoon we've shared, eh? One for the books.

000

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 02/09/2026

maybe those columnists are right this is pretty mean

Under the Bluesky tab 'Popular with friends' are the words 'not you lol'

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 01/09/2026

Is it racism?

Text: 17:36 BST
What can Fernandez add to Man
City?

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 31/08/2026

Lennie from The Simpsons, a middle aged man in a tuxedo leaning forward, tapping his upper lip with his fingers, a look of deep concentration on his face.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 28/08/2026

This feels like a hoax

A screengrab reading 'SAP: SAP NOW AI Tour UKI'

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 28/08/2026

I also uploaded this one but it's much less popular for some reason

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 28/08/2026

I'm not dying, but if I do die please remember me as the guy who uploaded this to Tenor

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 27/08/2026

But also let’s get some use out of this

Text:

Amy Canavan
BBC Sport Scotland at Easter Road
Aw Hibs.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 27/08/2026

Photo of book page. Text:

Vagabond
200
I cannot overstate how much I adored working with the Muppets. The extraordinary thing about them is that they are all characters in their own right, and you should treat them as such. It also helped that I was in the upswing of my voice acting endeavormy respect for my fellow actors was immense.
More than anything, though, I had such a good time. The Muppet universe is truly one of a kind, and it is damn impressive what they can do. If you have the privilege, and you allow yourself to enter their world, it really does not take long to forget that you are working with puppets. They are actors, each filled with distinct characteristics and foibles and all of our very human traits. (As am I—I was informed while writing this book that there is a popular meme in which the internet speculates I was successful in the film because I considered myself a "fellow Muppet." Absolutely not.)
My favorite was always Gonzo, who was always the victim, and never deserved it. I pity him. I also have a fondness for Miss Piggy, who's quite a seductive girl. She's always funny, and never boring. Although I did say at the outset that I wouldn't speak about any of my romantic relationships, I will say that Miss Piggy and I had quite a good time together, both on set and in our trailers. Fortunately, our dalliances never led to any tension with Kermit-I was clever about it.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 25/08/2026

This is already quite funny

Screengrab of football match text updates:

21:06 BST
GOAL LASK 2-1 Celtic (agg 2-
4)
Uh oh...

46'
KICK-OFF
LASK 1-1 Celtic (agg 1-4)
Avoid conceding three goals and you're a Champions League team until at least the winter, Celtic.

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 24/08/2026

This was the only photo I took

A Mac cheese food van with an extremely haunted aesthetic

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 23/08/2026

My wife when I’ve done something well:

A sign saying “Bueno Fudge Cake”

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 21/08/2026

Yeah it was in Fiction and Teen sections when I worked at Waterstones and apparently still is

Cover of The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole
Text

This item can be found in:
Children's, Teenage and Education > Children's and Teenage Fiction
> General Fiction

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 19/08/2026

Text: Champions League play-off: Nygren flashes Celtic in front against LASK

Kenneth Williams making a shocked face

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 19/08/2026

People tried that and she stabbed them with a stick

Screengrab of email. Text reads:

The Stand Comedy Club
Extra Shows Added for Tom Stade!
Plus All You Can Eat Buffy & More...

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 18/08/2026

The cover of the Coolio single 1,2,3,4 (sumpin’ new)

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 14/08/2026

Now you too can own a model of Swarm, the beloved character from Jodie Whitaker’s last series, when the abstract concept of Time kicks him right up the nuts

Some Doctor Who figures including Swarm, a guy with a long purple head and mad staring eyes

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 14/08/2026

Conjures up the enjoyable image of someone thrashing cubes of cheese with a tiny whip

Packaging for Whipped Feta & Sunblush Tomato Tarts

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 11/08/2026

The work continues (sound on, but volume down)

Sexy Plato's Cave @andrewblair.co.uk · 11/08/2026

Based on this Jesus would probably have been about 5 ft 6

A graph showing the average male height between Jesus’ birth and the year 2000