iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

I've been trying to think on how to word this but seeing so many ppl say things like "I would have never expected this from him!" really emphasizes to me that ppl seem to think that rapists are only a certain demographic of ppl, conveniently always never the ones they personally align with

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to the violence in the first place societally & internally, then advocating against those systems from the perspective of someone who benefitted from them, would be a powerful stance to have, even if unbecoming. in this case it feels ego was more important than truth and justice

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see that's the thing too for me like... to enter these feminist spaces while ignoring or concealing a history of sexual violence is sneaky in a way that goes beyond the transgression. like idk i know it's not "becoming" but i do feel like being upfront about it, doing the work to unpack what led-

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And btw I don't say this with any intense authority on how we can properly identify and accept what change is every single time cuz sometimes I really don't know. But "something happening a long time ago and the dude seems really chill now" =/= "change." That's more my point than anything

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Very valid and very understandable!!

I would agree. I feel like to show change would be to own it full stop, acknowledge the wrongdoing, offer reparations to the victim (if appropriate, if she's able to tolerate contact, etc.) and also accept that many ppl will never view him the same again and that's their right.

But ultimately ppl say "we should allow ppl who have changed grace" to ppl who haven't shown materially any meaningful change. They've just stopped doing the bad behavior publicly. Is that change?

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affected by your actions may NEVER accept your apology/never like you/never trust you. You know? And like that sucks--it sucks when we do harm to others and can't undo it. And I also think it's situational and a lot of factors can play into it as well

In other cases, such as past usage of slurs or other harmful behavior, I don't think "oh they haven't said the n-word in 10 years, they've CHANGED" is actually a "change." I feel like to some degree there has to be lifelong accountability and advocacy, and acceptance that some ppl who were-

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Like esp in the context of the current scenario, what suggests "change" on the behalf of this individual? That he makes "progressive" video essays? What material change has he made that repairs, restores and offers justice to his victim?

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On face value I obviously agree; I believe ppl CAN change and we should allow space for ppl who have done harm to grow into better ppl. But change isn't as simple as "I don't do that behavior publicly anymore" if you ask me sdfklhsfd

Kat Tenbarge @kattenbarge.bsky.social · 6h

it feels frustrating to me when (Insert Internet Celebrity Here) inevitably gets into serious trouble for past transgressions that there are ppl appealing to the idea that "we need to allow ppl to change otherwise there's no incentive to change." This is true, but how do YOU define change?

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Reposted by Amber ✨🦇💄

Just a reminder that people don’t always realize they were raped in the immediate aftermath. It can take hours, days, months, and even years to realize you were raped, and it doesn’t make it any less true. There are many kinds of responses, including fawning and trying to appease your rapist

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Amber ✨🦇💄 @ambattii.com · 13h

i have to prioritize tho cuz i could spend a decade just adding functionally unnecessary shit for the vibes sdflkhsdf

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Amber ✨🦇💄 @ambattii.com · 13h

like idk I love stories/games that put a lot of little easter eggs and thought and depth to their stuff even if it's not required to keep the narrative train moving ya know LOL I find it very fun to deep dive as a reader/watcher so it's very tempting to add loads of stuff like that to my own work

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Amber ✨🦇💄 @ambattii.com · 13h

It is so hard for me to reel back adding fun worldbuilding but ultimately unnecessary stuff to my game sometimes SDFLKHSDF

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Reposted by Amber ✨🦇💄

Johanna T 👻 📚 @johannamation.bsky.social · 17h

Me waking up on September 30th: ah what a lovely autumn day Me waking up on October 1st:

A black cat with yellow eyes gleaming in the dark

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I want to play the dressmaker game btu it will remind me of my half finished sewing projects sdlfkhsfd

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protect your mental health TT unfortunately this is all too common

see now it's a pattern lol this is the classic predator move of "omg i didn't KNOW she was 16!!!" and it's like. the most child looking child you've ever seen and anyone with a brain would recognize was a child

i believe you 1000%!!! i'm just dumbfounded sometimes about how some of these things occur to ppl lisfdlsdflkh like what are we basing this on because it clearly isn't observation

TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT!!

very well worded!! to me it's like... idk how to word this so idk if i make sense but i'm skeptical that this person didn't consider that this could be a possibility in the first place sdklhsdf

like your take in that comment is 100% right and I think inherently ppl with very large and parasocial platforms who seek romantic interaction with fans regardless of age are being a bit skeevy when you consider that inherent power dynamic... obvs even worse when its a kid sdlfkhfds

idk who this person is so i have no skin in the game but i feel like regardless of age we have to acknowledge the elephant in the room that there's somewhat of a power dynamic that inherently exists between like "big content creator" and "fan of big content creator" that can be weaponized fdlkhsdf

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who on EARTH says men are more "accepting" of lesbians SDFLKHSDF i cannot even fathom what ass that take got pulled out of sdlkfhsdf

alyson “end journalism” greaves @badambulist.bsky.social · 14h

Reposted by Amber ✨🦇💄

This is multiplicative for marginalised women, too, not just in the harassment and violence inflicted but in the social calculus they must perform. More places becoming unsafe, harassment escalating more quickly or more severely.

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but i relate to what you mean by isolating sdlfhkssfdh i don't know what the answer is but I hope at least talking about it can bring some catharsis til we figure out what the answer is TT

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for women we are often put in these circumstances because we are blamed for the harm that comes our way whether we "invited it" (harm is never invited ofc) or not TT you shouldn't be made to feel this way and it isn't your fault creeps and weirdos are taking their shot at being creeps and weirdos

turn back now oooooooomg sdflkhsfdklhsdf

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ppl have become incredibly brazen in recent years. it's always been around but i feel like it's gone above and beyond bcuz there's so little accountability reprecussions for it and they know it. i'm so sorry this is happening to you TT <3

natemare before christmas @natescape.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Reposted by Amber ✨🦇💄

Do you know how much has to have gone wrong for me to not like the internet

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Reposted by Amber ✨🦇💄

maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 16h

Yes every woman has been harassed, many assaulted. But every woman has also experienced invisible loss from moments she avoided harassment. She felt a space becoming unsafe, so she left, while men stayed on. And in leaving, she lost: opportunities, experiences, learning, promotions, even simply fun.

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Reposted by Amber ✨🦇💄

SULLY - POLYPAINT out now! 🎨 @artofsully.com · 21h

man i wanna yap so bad about [REDACTED] but i have to wait until [REDACTED] releases and then i will be able to show all the [REDACTED]. Just saying if you like [REDACTED] or [REDACTED] then me and [REDACTED] are gonna have something very very cool to show you soon 🧙‍♂️🏖️🃏

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im not sure if this is a good hmm or bad hmm LOL i'm just thinking we need to start recognizing this is an issue that is systemic and structural, not individual, and seeing changes will come from changing SYSTEMS, not individuals

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you too TT things will be better one day, even if it's beyond our lifetimes sdflkhsfd

wise!! me too. gonna buy some books to read on the topic ive been putting off and then nosedive into gamedev work sdfklhsf i wish i could materially change something rn but its such a trainwreck

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same bsdfklhsfd but we have to try to. i almost feel like hopelessness is the goal

jane amber! @androgynefiend.bsky.social · 19h

I also am starting to lose faith that "educating" people is going to be the answer. Everyone always says that "educating men" will get them to stop raping. The "educated" men are also raping people!!! So like ?????????? ?? ? ? ? ?

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Reposted by Amber ✨🦇💄

we need to have a convo that being progressive or a feminist doesn’t absolve anyone of the potential of being a predator

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that isn't to say we shouldn't be talking about it. we should. but I'm starting to get exasperated with how little ppl seem to care.

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and meanwhile the culture around us tells us we're puritanical/hysterical/overthinking/too woke/carceral for pointing out the cultural behaviors and ideologies that we tolerate that contribute to these rapes occurring, being unreported, and being swept under the rug when they DO hit the courts.

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it really is demoralizing to be a woman and have the news /every single day/ be centered around how yet another man (OR LARGE GROUP OF MEN) has raped us and gotten away with it.

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literally or like will weaponize progressive language to manipulate others or manipulate systems to their benefit and like... it just feels very lonely tbqh. hard to explain. what will it take to get through to people on this?

like idk if i'm wording this properly but i feel like i used to believe that men who called themselves progressive automatically included feminism and anti-rape culture ideology as a default and I actually don't think that's the case anymore

shit, harm each OTHER! men raping women, nbs, other men, all of us! no matter what politics they subscribe to! (reworded cuz i'm trying to break my habit of self-censoring "rape")

tbh ive been starting to realize that anti-rape culture & feminist activism has to be considered separately from other liberation movements because why does it seem that even the most "progressive" men continue to rape and harm us

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if it's about what i think. opinions 4 sure