al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 20/02/2025Just sneezed so hard I felt my back crack. this is the dream 130
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 04/02/2025Very few times that I’ve been zooted to the point I can’t read simple sentences and 2/3 of those times “tate mcrae” was at the scene of the crime. Something about her name just absolutely demolishes my sense of syntax. literacy obliterater 040
Reposted by al the palGale Na @poisonjr.bsky.social · 02/02/2025You'd better not be in one of your moods when I come home. I confiscated those. 1321
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 29/01/2025Taking an edible and pressing start Erin Brockovich after midnight 020
Reposted by al the palhorrid @lilivamps.bsky.social · 23/01/2025Y’all, Trump signed a new executive order. It says that everyone who listens to videos in public without using headphones has to pay me one billion dollars and they get shot in the leg. I think this type of leadership is really admirable and courageous 053
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 19/01/2025im CTFUUUUU thinking ab the rpf tag on ao3. If I was a celebrity and people were writing smutty fanfics about me describing my body saying shit like “her thin lips” or “her large thighs” no I’d kill my self OMGGGGG OMG 000
Reposted by al the palhorrid @lilivamps.bsky.social · 09/01/2025French people use the same yakub as everyone else 022
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 18/12/2024Dominic fike looks like every single man that works at the Denver airport 110
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 07/12/20243OH!3 I have received your telepathic message and will proceed with the plan 030
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 07/12/2024I love to tell people that disagree with me that they’re going to hell 010
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 07/12/2024Why did they make thisopen.spotify.comIMNOTYOURBOYFRIENDBABY3OH!3 · WANT (Deluxe) · Song · 2009 200
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 06/12/2024Having a romantic candlelight dinner with Rob from Math Antics 010
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 30/11/2024I just think if a rich person got to know me. They’d want to give me money 011
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 30/11/2024can’t believe every night Kylie Jenner plays travel town 020
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 30/11/2024You have no idea the kind of demented hatery that I am capable of. I follow a tik tok baker just because her stupid voice gives me genuine shivers of rage. The way she holds things pisses me the fuck off. Her vocal fried white girl baby voice is my HateSMR 120
Reposted by al the palJordan @jumbledthoughts.bsky.social · 28/11/2024“I can’t in good faith encourage that behavior but I want it to continue” - katlin telling me about this post 141
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Wait That was my bad Yall. I was trying to button my shirt over my giant knockers earlier and popped a button it must have shot further than I thought 262
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 28/11/2024I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me… yeah… yeah they was in the studio 010
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 22/11/2024girls be named ally all the while a seriously dark and sinister individual 020
Reposted by al the palnancy @nancypelosi.bsky.social · 24/06/2024they call it USB because yoU Splug it Bin 49920
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 22/11/2024Wasn’t gonna smoke tn but my frontal lobe closing like a mf 010
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 21/11/2024Why does everything cost money I’m this close to losing it. does a mysterious benefactor want to give me 400 dollars please 010
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 20/11/2024saw a frat boy harry styles edit and started barking my bad 021
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 20/11/2024Yeah they’re taking me out back tomorrow. Mhm they’re putting me out of my misery. Yeah I’m gonna go live on a farm with other older dogs too. Yeah 010
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Got the kind of stoned yesterday that made me forget how to say “our father who art in heaven” I was sitting there like man….our farder who tharder harder 010
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Taking every consonant from your memory before I let you read one of my tweets. e u e i 010
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Hope the person that invented righty tighty lefty loosey knew that they were more innovative than Steve Jobs or whoever figured out how to weave a basket for the first time 020
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 19/11/2024In a long distance relationship (he is still over on twitter) 351
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Sometimes a turkey sandwich just has a little bit of adderall in it 130
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Oomf got three animals in his house that look like this 020
Reposted by al the palmj @aratakaswife.bsky.social · 19/11/2024no i am not going to buy a seafood boil off tiktok shop are u crazy 5491
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Need to eat out this white chocolate Lindt truffle in a room where there are no others 120
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 18/11/2024Everyone always says oh it’s so sad that taylor lautner is so jobless... Oh hah Taylor lautner refuses to get booked….people Let’s look at his resume and do some thitical crinking 040
al the pal @althepal.bsky.social · 18/11/2024You’re telling me that I have to charge my phone for the rest of my life 141
