iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

The "doesn't listen to the full sentence and runs away" trope is just so dumb.

It's next for me. My attachment patterns are all kinds of disrupted after getting disowned the day before my birthday over emailing the church I grew up in to update my legal name. So yes, anything at all with the 1 minute conversations that relationship trust is built from.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 6h

I added a bunch I liked to the thread, if you have a comp-het phase they'd probably hit the spot. I like the ones with a girl lead who is coming to terms with maturing into a woman and the expectations of that, which seem limiting after an ungendered or nonconforming childhood.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 6h

I'd glossed over that one, I judged it too harshly by cover it seems. Adding "Experienced You and Inexperienced Me" to my list.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 7h

2.5D sucked until the last 5 episodes, then the ark about reconnecting with a parent through art put it straight into my favorites.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 7h

Other ones I liked: "Alya Sometimes Hides Her Feelings in Russian", "Recovery of an MMO Junkie", "The Frontier Lord Begins with Zero Subjects", "The Warrior Princess and the Barbarian King".

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 7h

I think the criteria are: - Hetero romance - Tomboy lead character - Other lead should be stable/gentle - No NC, SA, or SV - Intended for a Shojo audience

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 7h

"My Dress Up Darling" was right in line with what I want. "2.5 Dimensional Seduction" was fantastic, but probably a little more targeted for teenage boys than I want. "Young Ladies Don't Play Fighting Games" was homoromanime, but I'd consider things like it. "Citrus" is on my list unwatched yet.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 7h

I would trust anyone with that username.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 7h

"Gorilla God's Go-To Girl" was good, as was "Tomo-chan is a Girl". "Senpai is an Okotonoko" was great but it's more gender than I want for a next watch. Same with "Wandering Son", which really should be "Wandering Daughter".

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 7h

I need recs for good heteromanime with just a dash of good gender, like "In the Clear Moonlit Dusk", or "7th Time Loop".

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I'm good, I've spent years building community here in Colorado, I am surrounded by found family and close friends.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I stocked up on marzipan rittersport beforehand. 🫀

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

In cutting ties over quietly informing the church office, he freed me to contact all the parents in the community that helped take care of my brothers and I when our mom was away for mental health reasons. It's not unironic that more of his community will find out who I am now.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

You know what, if what you said bothered them they'd tell you. Don't worry about it.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Thanks, the closure is good. I've also started reaching out to a lot of family friends I'd left out, to not anger my dad before his decision. It's been nice to reconnect with old friends, none of whom so far have expressed any surprise. I think I'm a far worse actress than I thought.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

But a leather belt always makes me feel like I am threatening those around me, it might as well be holding up a holstered Glock 18C, with a round already in the chamber.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

For me it was nothing > suspenders > canvas, and I never wore leather belts, and the one faux leather vinyl belt I tried I intentionally destroyed. I never have matched a belt to my shoes, even though I have wanted to. It would finally let me prove it was the man, not the accessory at blame.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

This did affect my sartorial choices as an adult, in ways that @dieworkwear.bsky.social would not have considered exemplar of established fashion trends.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

In the last four years of conversation, I brought up the many, many, times where the person I am shone through errors in the performance of boyhood that kept me safe. My father never asked me why I never told him earlier. He never claimed I lie. He wears the brown Cabela's leather reason.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I would suggest not assuming things about 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐍.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Oh sure, those are all fine, and it's about the change of my name, it about what that change represents. None of his friends would care, people generally are too preoccupied with their own lives to waste time thinking about someone else's family.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Imagining how my life will go without the man who hasn't been a part of my life saying that he won't be a part of my life. I'll probably not even notice that someone who has never been here, isn't here.

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Reposted by 𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪

𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Shot | Chaser

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I use chopsticks too, but I like the weight of the marlinspike.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

He had hidden his fear of losing social status from my existence behind my mother's anger, other's ignorance, and a dozen other things that would only require the smallest courage to face. So I decided to find out what would happen if I was courageous instead. He could have stepped up. He didn't.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

When he said: "It does not make sense to call you a name the other person(s) do not know. An example is that the mass tomorrow morning is offered for you on your Birthday under your birth name as that is the name the people here know you as." I decided to take away that excuse. Blood and water.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I have a marlinspike that I use as a hair-pin when I put my hair up into a bun.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Yeah, I formed so much of my early late childhood and adulthood around what I thought would make him happy or earn his praise. Thinking back, I have no memories of having been told that he was proud of me. It was always left unsaid, to be an unreached goal. I eventually learned it was unreachable.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

It is. My birthday is going well, my wife is currently making the pineapple upsidedown cake, and I'm nursing the hangover from an ill-advised late night cider last night with coffee and paracetamol.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Yeah, there's only so much mourning that can be done in advance. Though I do feel a weight off my shoulders, I no longer have the thought "what would my parents think" when living my life.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I have better people. My own extended family has been really good, and my in-laws are amazing.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Thanks, I worked hard to have a chance for a relationship with him, and hoped for a the better outcome, but at the end, it was his decision to make.

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

If you like my drama you should check out: bsky.app/profile/wtyp...

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Thanks, I'm just glad it's over before my birthday. Could you imagine turning 21 for the 17th time and also getting disowned on the same day?

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𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕒 𝕃𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕪 @alea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

This was not unexpected, that was the end of a long conversation, after a series of long conversations going back half a decade since I changed my name in July of 2021.

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