Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 12/09/2025Academic writing feels like sensory hell. It strangles joy and drowns thought. My crip autistic feelings spill wider than their tidy, elaborate argumentations. (I know part of this rage is my own ignorance showing.) 010
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 22/08/2025…you desperately wanted to glimpse some spark in yourself, and the mirror showed blankness. 000
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiAwais Aftab @awaisaftab.bsky.social · 22/08/2025Clinicians across medicine are familiar with an odd feature of descriptive diagnoses: they can bring patients real relief & provide an explanation, even without offering causes. In a new paper, @alanlevinovitz.bsky.social and I call this the Rumpelstiltskin effect. www.cambridge.org/core/journal...cambridge.orgThe Rumpelstiltskin effect: therapeutic repercussions of clinical diagnosis | BJPsych Bulletin | Cambridge CoreThe Rumpelstiltskin effect: therapeutic repercussions of clinical diagnosis 63815
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 22/08/2025Spending most of my thesis writing hours asking AI if i can finish in time. guilty about the carbon footprint, guilty about the wasted time. mostly just lonely with my Word doc. 000
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiCentre for Research in Autism and Education @craeioe.bsky.social · 13/08/2025The warm summer weather had CRAE folks reading: The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals www.nature.com/artic...nature.comThe influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individualsScientific Reports - The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals 181
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiJohn Scalzi @scalzi.com · 08/08/2025This is how I flirtmedia.tenor.coma man is standing on a stage holding a microphone .Alt: Eddie Izzard saying "Do you like bread?" 1936010
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 05/08/2025To respect and recognize the weight of lived experience is to let in subjectivity, contradiction, etc. everything the clinic was built to manage or exclude. Listening like that isn’t neutral. It’s political. And medicine people are terrified of politics. 020
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 05/08/2025Many medical professionals aren’t offended by lived experience, they’re terrified of it. Not because it challenges their knowledge, but because it disarms the Law of the Father that granted them the authority to listen in the first place. 000
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 28/06/2025Got inspired to integrate Zotero-enhanced Obsidian into my writing process. Now I feel awful. Haven’t felt this dumb in a long time. Funniest part? Most of the tutorials are by neurodivergent folks. Love that for me, a bad neurodivergent 😅 000
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 15/06/2025I’m heartbroken for the trees, cats, dogs, and birds of Tehran. My chest tightens when people ask me about the situation in Iran, I feel nothing but distance. Alienation. I have no one left under those missiles to worry about. No human ties. Only the weight of old traumas, resurfacing like ghosts. 010
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiTom Shakespeare @tomshakespeare.bsky.social · 22/05/2025Even by the standards of an evil administration, this is extraordinary. 1164
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 22/05/2025youtu.be/f6i6gkN3OZ8?...youtu.beLove Streams (Cassavetes -1984) "Who The Fuck Are You?"- HDYouTube video by Journey To The Center Of The Cinema 010
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 21/05/2025Overjoyed and deeply moved by the tender, richly layered conversations on chronic illness and pain at TONGUES, the #NNMHR conference. Rare to feel so intellectually nourished and intimately seen. 040
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiChica Marx @mckenziewark.bsky.social · 19/05/2025Art exists only in relation to the inevitability of death. There is no “AI art.” 15113
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 20/05/2025Think I am addicted to the adrenaline of last-minute chaos. Not mere procrastination… I deliberately delay things just to feel a specific kind of bodily intensity; painful, but also weirdly ecstatic. Almost erotic. Like my nervous system finally feels real under the weight of impending failure. 010
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 15/05/2025Truly, ragefully reject the argument that “we’re all a little disabled” for erasing the politics of disability. However, reviewing a doc for accessibility, I’m struck by how able-bodiedness creates the illusion of clear communication and even omniscience… 130
Reposted by Ahou Mostowfilastpositivist.bsky.social @lastpositivist.bsky.social · 12/05/2025I think if I can just reach the stage of being a largely harmless person who doesn't make the institution I'm part of actively worse I'll feel better. 5441
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 12/05/2025Sometimes even I can’t find a way to deal with myself… don’t know how to move forward without making the wounded animal inside me rage. 000
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 12/05/2025Been sitting on a chapter draft for two weeks. Not editing, not moving forward — just waiting for my advisor’s feedback. Telling myself it’s “productive waiting.” 100
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 11/05/2025And now Mother’s Day finally comes to an end. It serves as a reminder that I survived a woman who thrived on control, fear, and dependence. She didn’t raise me; I fought my way out from under her. She taught me resilience by being the reason I needed it. Thank you for the trauma, Mom. 100
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 09/05/2025When I was living in Iran, I often carried a quiet, gnawing guilt about how instinctively I judged people based on appearance. Veil style, beards, tucked-in shirts—these weren’t aesthetic. They were political codes. To survive, I had to decode them. Judging was self-defense. 110
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiChica Marx @mckenziewark.bsky.social · 08/05/2025Imagine having only one god. It'd like eating nothing but potatoes. 0104
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 08/05/2025In Turkey, speaking up for disability rights often meets not support, but mockery, dismissal, and fury. A university rector told a disabled student: “Find donations if you want a toilet.” This isn’t just disgraceful — it’s systemic neglect in plain sight. t24.com.tr/haber/kou-re...t24.com.trKOÜ rektörü Cantürk'ten engelli tuvaleti isteyen öğrenciye: "Bağış bulursan yaparız"KOÜ rektörü Cantürk'ten engelli tuvaleti isteyen öğrenciye: "Bağış bulursan yaparız" 082
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 06/05/2025Can’t tell if it’s my own oddities or something baked into Turkish academia, but I keep veering between manic over-intellectualizing and dry, repetitive didacticism in my writing. No middle ground. 100
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 06/05/2025Back in my master’s years, friends told me I was blowing my differences out of proportion. Years later, we’re scattered worldwide, and most of them got diagnosed with Autism spectrum conditions by different pros. 010
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 05/05/2025When the text is tangled with your life, cold detachment fails. You’re not scared of being wrong — you’re scared of telling it wrong, of failing the story that shaped you. And when it’s all internal, what makes it academic? Arguing your wounds in front of strangers feels vulgar. 010
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 04/05/2025there’s a kind of peace in disappearing. no spotlight, no pressure to exist loudly. just you, the abyss, and silence. and when you’ve felt that—really felt it—coming back into visibility feels like the real violence. 000
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 04/05/2025something i struggle with constantly: why write, when what i’m trying to say has already been said—better, clearer, more beautifully—by others? i hate producing in the shadow of a literature so rich it makes me feel redundant. nihil sub sole novum, so why even bother? 110
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 23/04/2025Reading for me isn’t research. It’s dreaming with my eyes open. When I wake up to write, all I have left are feelings; no citations, just hauntings. 120
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiMartin Kusch @martinkusch.bsky.social · 22/04/2025Hm. -- "I want to say: every philosophical problem is the result of a character flaw." (L.W.) #philosophy 1133
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 19/04/2025The quiet horror of realizing you’ve survived years of academic hazing and yet somehow no one taught you how to format a bibliography. 110
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 17/04/2025Every time i get rejected, it breaks my heart. and then it breaks my heart again that i’m still the kind of person who lets it break their heart. 010
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiAutistic Realms (Helen Edgar) @autisticrealms.bsky.social · 16/04/2025A shorter and hopefully more readable version of my blog about Monotropism & Monotropic Time: autisticrealms.com/monotropic-t... Feedback is welcomeautisticrealms.comMonotropic Time - A Short Blog | Autistic RealmsMonotropic Time: A Different Rhythm If you are Autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD, time may not feel like a straight line, and you may feel you are constantly battlin ... 1124
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiCinzia Greco @cinziag.bsky.social · 16/04/2025"Neurodiverse respondents ... used chatbots to help them effectively negotiate the neurotypical world." You need all the help you can get to navigate neurotypical norms 😀 However, this just shows that despite all the puzzle symbols, there is no support or understanding for #neurodivergent people.theguardian.com‘She helps cheer me up’: the people forming relationships with AI chatbotsFrom virtual ‘wives’ to mental health support, more than 100m people are using personified chatbots 031
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 16/04/2025One thing I admire (and quietly envy) in neurodivergent academics from the global North is the confidence and assertiveness in their writing. It gives their work a kind of empowering legitimacy I crave, but I keep shrinking, second-guessing, erasing my voice before it even lands… 110
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiRobert Chapman @drrobertchapman.bsky.social · 15/04/2025"Drawing on phenomenological accounts of depression, I argue that it is best understood as consciousness of one's alienation from the social world—and under the right conditions, this consciousness can become politicized and lead to critique." onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10....onlinelibrary.wiley.comDepression, Critique, and Critical Theory as Political TherapyCritical theorists, especially in the Frankfurt School tradition, claim that normative thought and critique arise from experiences of suffering and oppression. It seems intuitive that oppression some... 1183
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 15/04/2025Writing helps me understand how filthy I actually am. Holy rot…how do my fingers carry this much dust, crumbs, ink, sweat, yesterday’s snacks, and whatever the hell that is. Keyboard’s basically a biohazard at this point. 010
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 15/04/2025They write at 3AM, dizzy with caffeine and dread, convinced they’ve finally articulated something real. By morning it reads like a nervous breakdown in footnotes. Delete. Despair. Repeat. This is the Sisyphus of our time. 010
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiJjinandtonic @jjinandtonic.bsky.social · 27/07/2023*cracks hips* *cracks back* *snaps neck* *dies* Another successful Chiropractic session 0415
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 13/04/2025Just remembered that Hans Christian Andersen tale—girl puts on cursed red shoes, can’t stop dancing, goes mad, gets her feet cut off. Anyway. Me. 100
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 13/04/2025Most of my days are spent deconstructing why I’m so lazy, avoidant, and allergic to confronting my own flaws. Possibly because I used to spot those traits in others and silently judge them. Now I wear them like a cursed heirloom. Redemption, please. I’ll trade my entire existential budget🫠 000
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 13/04/2025Sharp pain in my ribcage. Déjà vu, or intergenerational trauma screaming, ‘Not this episode again’? 000
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 12/04/2025tripleampersand.org/woke-is-dead...tripleampersand.orgWoke Is Dead? Not So Fast! - TripleAmpersand Journal (&&&)I am not sure exactly what “woke” is supposed to mean, but from what I have observed in not-so-academic debates that flirt with theory, it is an individualistic liberal appropriation of the so-called ... 000
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 12/04/2025Trying to justify my neurodivergent brain to my ableist supervisor feels like being on trial with a verdict written before I walked in. Academia keeps cosplaying Turkish politics, just with worse snacks. ⚖️ Justice, but base it on vibes. 000
Reposted by Ahou Mostowfiilker canikligil @ilkercanikligil.bsky.social · 10/04/2025“Anti-Erdogan Turkish Youtuber detained and still under arrest for StarWars joke.” That’s me. Thanks. 37317
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 10/04/2025Didn’t even get the chance to migrate to the Global North before it started mirroring the Middle East: politically, bureaucratically, and in funding collapse. And if you’re asking how we survive institutional decay, honestly, we’re still figuring it out ourselves. 010
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiThe Polyphony @the-polyphony.bsky.social · 10/04/2025Lea Cooper on practice research, with zines as research evidence, as method and as new knowledge: 'The question of a Mad memorial extended, became a rhizomatic sprawl, because it was also a question about how to grieve without an end, without closure or justice...' thepolyphony.org/2025/04/10/m...thepolyphony.orgCreating Mad Memorials: ‘A Place of Safety’Lea Cooper discusses and shares images of their PhD work, in which zine making was both research method and research focus. 032
Reposted by Ahou MostowfiTom Shakespeare @tomshakespeare.bsky.social · 10/04/2025In my defence, everything is too high #InaccessibleKitchen #RageSeismology 2101
Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 10/04/2025My sleep cycle just filed an ethics complaint against my thesis. 010