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Ahou Mostowfi

@ahoumstwf.bsky.social
272 followers 568 following 60 posts

Chronically indoors, mumbling to books, buried in PDFs, and side-eyeing the concept of ‘functioning’. “but i don’t want to go among mad people.” “oh, you can’t help that.” “we’re all mad here.”

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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
Academic writing feels like sensory hell. It strangles joy and drowns thought. My crip autistic feelings spill wider than their tidy, elaborate argumentations. (I know part of this rage is my own ignorance showing.)
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
…you desperately wanted to glimpse some spark in yourself, and the mirror showed blankness.
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Awais Aftab @awaisaftab.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
Clinicians across medicine are familiar with an odd feature of descriptive diagnoses: they can bring patients real relief & provide an explanation, even without offering causes. In a new paper, @alanlevinovitz.bsky.social and I call this the Rumpelstiltskin effect. www.cambridge.org/core/journal...
cambridge.org
The Rumpelstiltskin effect: therapeutic repercussions of clinical diagnosis | BJPsych Bulletin | Cambridge Core
The Rumpelstiltskin effect: therapeutic repercussions of clinical diagnosis
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
Spending most of my thesis writing hours asking AI if i can finish in time. guilty about the carbon footprint, guilty about the wasted time. mostly just lonely with my Word doc.
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Centre for Research in Autism and Education @craeioe.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
The warm summer weather had CRAE folks reading: The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals www.nature.com/artic...
nature.com
The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals
Scientific Reports - The influence of indoor temperature and noise on autistic individuals
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John Scalzi @scalzi.com · 08/08/2025
This is how I flirt
media.tenor.com
a man is standing on a stage holding a microphone .
Alt: Eddie Izzard saying "Do you like bread?"
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 05/08/2025
To respect and recognize the weight of lived experience is to let in subjectivity, contradiction, etc. everything the clinic was built to manage or exclude. Listening like that isn’t neutral. It’s political. And medicine people are terrified of politics.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 05/08/2025
Many medical professionals aren’t offended by lived experience, they’re terrified of it. Not because it challenges their knowledge, but because it disarms the Law of the Father that granted them the authority to listen in the first place.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
Got inspired to integrate Zotero-enhanced Obsidian into my writing process. Now I feel awful. Haven’t felt this dumb in a long time. Funniest part? Most of the tutorials are by neurodivergent folks. Love that for me, a bad neurodivergent 😅
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 15/06/2025
I’m heartbroken for the trees, cats, dogs, and birds of Tehran. My chest tightens when people ask me about the situation in Iran, I feel nothing but distance. Alienation. I have no one left under those missiles to worry about. No human ties. Only the weight of old traumas, resurfacing like ghosts.
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Tom Shakespeare @tomshakespeare.bsky.social · 22/05/2025
Even by the standards of an evil administration, this is extraordinary.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 22/05/2025
youtu.be/f6i6gkN3OZ8?...
youtu.be
Love Streams (Cassavetes -1984) "Who The Fuck Are You?"- HD
YouTube video by Journey To The Center Of The Cinema
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 21/05/2025
Overjoyed and deeply moved by the tender, richly layered conversations on chronic illness and pain at TONGUES, the #NNMHR conference. Rare to feel so intellectually nourished and intimately seen.
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Chica Marx @mckenziewark.bsky.social · 19/05/2025
Art exists only in relation to the inevitability of death. There is no “AI art.”
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 20/05/2025
Think I am addicted to the adrenaline of last-minute chaos. Not mere procrastination… I deliberately delay things just to feel a specific kind of bodily intensity; painful, but also weirdly ecstatic. Almost erotic. Like my nervous system finally feels real under the weight of impending failure.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 15/05/2025
Truly, ragefully reject the argument that “we’re all a little disabled” for erasing the politics of disability. However, reviewing a doc for accessibility, I’m struck by how able-bodiedness creates the illusion of clear communication and even omniscience…
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lastpositivist.bsky.social @lastpositivist.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
I think if I can just reach the stage of being a largely harmless person who doesn't make the institution I'm part of actively worse I'll feel better.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
Sometimes even I can’t find a way to deal with myself… don’t know how to move forward without making the wounded animal inside me rage.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
Been sitting on a chapter draft for two weeks. Not editing, not moving forward — just waiting for my advisor’s feedback. Telling myself it’s “productive waiting.”
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 11/05/2025
And now Mother’s Day finally comes to an end. It serves as a reminder that I survived a woman who thrived on control, fear, and dependence. She didn’t raise me; I fought my way out from under her. She taught me resilience by being the reason I needed it. Thank you for the trauma, Mom.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 09/05/2025
When I was living in Iran, I often carried a quiet, gnawing guilt about how instinctively I judged people based on appearance. Veil style, beards, tucked-in shirts—these weren’t aesthetic. They were political codes. To survive, I had to decode them. Judging was self-defense.
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Chica Marx @mckenziewark.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
Imagine having only one god. It'd like eating nothing but potatoes.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
In Turkey, speaking up for disability rights often meets not support, but mockery, dismissal, and fury. A university rector told a disabled student: “Find donations if you want a toilet.” This isn’t just disgraceful — it’s systemic neglect in plain sight. t24.com.tr/haber/kou-re...
t24.com.tr
KOÜ rektörü Cantürk'ten engelli tuvaleti isteyen öğrenciye: "Bağış bulursan yaparız"
KOÜ rektörü Cantürk'ten engelli tuvaleti isteyen öğrenciye: "Bağış bulursan yaparız"
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
Can’t tell if it’s my own oddities or something baked into Turkish academia, but I keep veering between manic over-intellectualizing and dry, repetitive didacticism in my writing. No middle ground.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
Back in my master’s years, friends told me I was blowing my differences out of proportion. Years later, we’re scattered worldwide, and most of them got diagnosed with Autism spectrum conditions by different pros.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 05/05/2025
When the text is tangled with your life, cold detachment fails. You’re not scared of being wrong — you’re scared of telling it wrong, of failing the story that shaped you. And when it’s all internal, what makes it academic? Arguing your wounds in front of strangers feels vulgar.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
there’s a kind of peace in disappearing. no spotlight, no pressure to exist loudly. just you, the abyss, and silence. and when you’ve felt that—really felt it—coming back into visibility feels like the real violence.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
something i struggle with constantly: why write, when what i’m trying to say has already been said—better, clearer, more beautifully—by others? i hate producing in the shadow of a literature so rich it makes me feel redundant. nihil sub sole novum, so why even bother?
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 23/04/2025
Reading for me isn’t research. It’s dreaming with my eyes open. When I wake up to write, all I have left are feelings; no citations, just hauntings.
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Martin Kusch @martinkusch.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
Hm. -- "I want to say: every philosophical problem is the result of a character flaw." (L.W.) #philosophy
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 19/04/2025
The quiet horror of realizing you’ve survived years of academic hazing and yet somehow no one taught you how to format a bibliography.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
Every time i get rejected, it breaks my heart. and then it breaks my heart again that i’m still the kind of person who lets it break their heart.
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Autistic Realms (Helen Edgar) @autisticrealms.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
A shorter and hopefully more readable version of my blog about Monotropism & Monotropic Time: autisticrealms.com/monotropic-t... Feedback is welcome
autisticrealms.com
Monotropic Time - A Short Blog | Autistic Realms
Monotropic Time: A Different Rhythm If you are Autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD, time may not feel like a straight line, and you may feel you are constantly battlin ...
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Cinzia Greco @cinziag.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
"Neurodiverse respondents ... used chatbots to help them effectively negotiate the neurotypical world." You need all the help you can get to navigate neurotypical norms 😀 However, this just shows that despite all the puzzle symbols, there is no support or understanding for #neurodivergent people.
theguardian.com
‘She helps cheer me up’: the people forming relationships with AI chatbots
From virtual ‘wives’ to mental health support, more than 100m people are using personified chatbots
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
One thing I admire (and quietly envy) in neurodivergent academics from the global North is the confidence and assertiveness in their writing. It gives their work a kind of empowering legitimacy I crave, but I keep shrinking, second-guessing, erasing my voice before it even lands…
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Robert Chapman @drrobertchapman.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
"Drawing on phenomenological accounts of depression, I argue that it is best understood as consciousness of one's alienation from the social world—and under the right conditions, this consciousness can become politicized and lead to critique." onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10....
onlinelibrary.wiley.com
Depression, Critique, and Critical Theory as Political Therapy
Critical theorists, especially in the Frankfurt School tradition, claim that normative thought and critique arise from experiences of suffering and oppression. It seems intuitive that oppression some...
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
Writing helps me understand how filthy I actually am. Holy rot…how do my fingers carry this much dust, crumbs, ink, sweat, yesterday’s snacks, and whatever the hell that is. Keyboard’s basically a biohazard at this point.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
They write at 3AM, dizzy with caffeine and dread, convinced they’ve finally articulated something real. By morning it reads like a nervous breakdown in footnotes. Delete. Despair. Repeat. This is the Sisyphus of our time.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
¿En qué momento se había jodido el mundo?
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Jjinandtonic @jjinandtonic.bsky.social · 27/07/2023
*cracks hips* *cracks back* *snaps neck* *dies* Another successful Chiropractic session
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
Just remembered that Hans Christian Andersen tale—girl puts on cursed red shoes, can’t stop dancing, goes mad, gets her feet cut off. Anyway. Me.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
Most of my days are spent deconstructing why I’m so lazy, avoidant, and allergic to confronting my own flaws. Possibly because I used to spot those traits in others and silently judge them. Now I wear them like a cursed heirloom. Redemption, please. I’ll trade my entire existential budget🫠
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
Sharp pain in my ribcage. Déjà vu, or intergenerational trauma screaming, ‘Not this episode again’?
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 12/04/2025
tripleampersand.org/woke-is-dead...
tripleampersand.org
Woke Is Dead? Not So Fast! - TripleAmpersand Journal (&&&)
I am not sure exactly what “woke” is supposed to mean, but from what I have observed in not-so-academic debates that flirt with theory, it is an individualistic liberal appropriation of the so-called ...
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 12/04/2025
Trying to justify my neurodivergent brain to my ableist supervisor feels like being on trial with a verdict written before I walked in. Academia keeps cosplaying Turkish politics, just with worse snacks. ⚖️ Justice, but base it on vibes.
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ilker canikligil @ilkercanikligil.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
“Anti-Erdogan Turkish Youtuber detained and still under arrest for StarWars joke.” That’s me. Thanks.
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
Didn’t even get the chance to migrate to the Global North before it started mirroring the Middle East: politically, bureaucratically, and in funding collapse. And if you’re asking how we survive institutional decay, honestly, we’re still figuring it out ourselves.
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The Polyphony @the-polyphony.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
Lea Cooper on practice research, with zines as research evidence, as method and as new knowledge: 'The question of a Mad memorial extended, became a rhizomatic sprawl, because it was also a question about how to grieve without an end, without closure or justice...' thepolyphony.org/2025/04/10/m...
thepolyphony.org
Creating Mad Memorials: ‘A Place of Safety’
Lea Cooper discusses and shares images of their PhD work, in which zine making was both research method and research focus.
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Tom Shakespeare @tomshakespeare.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
In my defence, everything is too high #InaccessibleKitchen #RageSeismology
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Ahou Mostowfi @ahoumstwf.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
My sleep cycle just filed an ethics complaint against my thesis.
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