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Allen

@advancedflea.bsky.social
71 followers 241 following 1.1K posts

Artist, Dog lover, Avid Reader! (Those were just the default things. When I come up with an origonal joke I'll add my own. Check back in 3023 for that.

PostsRepliesMedia
Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
When approaching an artist for a commission lol...
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
This is the table she and her friends were sitting at. Which explains a lot.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
Well. I just got sexually assaulted by a woman who couldn't take "no thank you", "no", "please leave me alone" and "I'm gay" as a response. Thankfully the bowling alley CCTV saw everything so caught the reason why I shoved her away. Fuck people, man.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Oh look. Bots on BS. Never saw that coming. No sir.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
I always stick around for the credits for films now. After having worked at an IP law firm for 2 years, when the credits get to the legal team i often see the names of people who I know, have helped put, made fun of, eaten lunch with...am friends with. And it's so good to see their names up there.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 01/03/2026
Had to change my cloud backup provider recently because my old one no longer met my security requirements. This initial backup is going to take for fucking ever
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
Whenever I'm in a rush. Never fucking fails
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 01/02/2026
People ask what it's like when my dad is in the passenger seat. I say "Like driving with Hyacinth Bucket" youtu.be/0wZxcdM3KGo?...
youtu.be
Hyacinth's Hilarious Back-Seat Driving | Keeping Up Appearances
YouTube video by BritBox
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
Different center, still uses string-pins but for once, it's not the string-pins that are the problem lol
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
The first time I've paid full attention to an advert on YouTube.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
Imagine having my name and having THIS show up on your timeline. Then having to go into the post to find out what you did to piss the internet off today.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Just had someone try to log in to my professional (looking) email account. I guess that password has leaked. 2FA stopped them. That password is now invalid. Why does this shit always happen when I'm at the gym?!! Remember people, turn on #2FA / #MFA everywhere you can.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 12/12/2025
Fellow enjoyers of #agoofymovie #agm may I present to you a freeze-frame I got when I paused to grab a cookie. Canon Max Goof ass XD #MaxGoof
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
I was trying to find a gif of a rat being caught in a live-catch trap that traps them then uses a motor to smack their butt. I typed in "Rat spank" and then, for some reason, was genuinely surprised when THIS came up lmao
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
I finally set an icon on here. Now @anibunny.bsky.social (who hasn't even mentioned it in MONTHS) will stop bullying me about it
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
Place your bets...Will this be a clean Game? (No frames left open)
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
Mother fucking string pins pinsetters
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
Sitting at Dublin airport i have created a network called "Free Wifi" to see who is stupid enough to try to connect to it
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Took a nap at lunch time. Had to do so in the car today so I had to just idle the engine for warmth. At least this rental car, being a hybrid, has a "charge battery from engine" option so me needing to not die of hypothermia can also help take me places later on ❤️
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Manager thinks I'm smartly dressed and actively floor walking because she is getting good feedback about me from all the users at this office (apparently). Nope. I'm sitting near the kitchen in jeans, trainers and a hoodie, giving all the users as much shit as humanly possible
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
Oh no. This hotels wifi says i can only connect 1 device. And has a login portal with a 32-charecter password Your rules do not apply to me. I shall connect my work phone, personal phone, work laptop, personal laptop, e-reader and 2 watches, thanks.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
Workplace pensions can be a mess sometimes. My most recent job, I was there for 2 years. The pension program I was in there have given me 50% of my total pension pot to date, and the job i was with for 8 years...1% of my total pension pot.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
When I have to reboot our router, it's always kind of satisfying. I get a low, satisfying "Bwong" from the UPS units transformer as it comes back on. Then sits there for a second doing self-tests and eventually comes up "Self-diagnostics complete. On Utility - Green"
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
Fucking not again
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
Just plugged my phone in. First thing that comes up. "Fast Charing. 5%. 1 minute until full" ... yeah I somehow doubt it's going to take 1 minute.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
I just got a random text message from a number I don't know saying "You're a cunt" Which....Yeah. True. The way I see it, it's one of 3 things 1. A friend who has a new phone and doesn't know I don't have their new number 2. A wrong number 3. A scammer trying to make sure my number works.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
You know you're watching an interesting video when one of the things that gets said is "Time to commit some felonies. I love the smell of going to prison in the morning"
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 24/10/2025
String. Pins.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
Fuck it. I'm going bowling.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
I'm noticing a lot of people are deleting their absolutly horrible posts following the death of Charlie Kirk. Why is that? is it possibly because they realise that gloating about someone being assasinated is a really bad look?
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
Holy shit. Charlie Kirk has died? God damn. I hope they catch the bastard who killed him.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
We gon' Die! #EmergencyAlert
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
Ladies and gentlemen, I have a further announcement to make 🧵 It is my great honor and pleasure to introduce to you; Blaze. He is a 9 year old Vauxhall Corsa that came to me with 50,000 miles on the clock.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
I have a nextbase dashcam. They are great dashcams, but their app will constantly flood you with notifications even if you opt out of them. So now I block them at the operating system level because this is ridiculous
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. 🧵 Today, I was forced to say goodbye to a dear friend — Iggy. Before you worry: no, not a person or a pet. Iggy was my car.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
We have the bowling alley to ourselves :D
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
Love it when a client's existing I.T. firm think they have secure passwords and they use shit like "LetMeIn!"
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
PSA for those of you who, like me, own an old car that you love, but is on borrowed time. Get yourself one of these jump starters. They will save you from having a pissed off day and they are stupid simple to use. Buy one that is WAY overkill for your car.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 06/08/2025
Yeaaaaaaaaah bitches
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 01/08/2025
Fucking string pins pin-setters!!
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 01/08/2025
I do not know how the fuck is am supposed to convert this split xD
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 29/07/2025
Aaaah shit. This is the next course I have to do
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 29/07/2025
Lol this first aid course's multiple choice questions lol. 2 of the options are basically "waterboard them" or "Choose violence" xD
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 29/07/2025
Oh wow. £800 per day. That must be 100% legit and there's no way this is a scam
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 28/07/2025
There is a dude doing pushups on the changing room floor of my gym. Whynthe changing room?? There is an entire gym just the other side of the wall! With a spot just for that
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 27/07/2025
How Chat GPT surprised me the other night. a thread
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
So. While trying to make a cup of tea in the hotel, I plugged the kettle in, there was a bright flash and the plug managed to melt before the fuse, and now the socket doesn't work. Hotel staff made me a cup of tea and are here at 10:30pm replacing the socket. Great service <3
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 20/07/2025
England in the summer. Yay.
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
I'm on a ship. The ship wifi said I can connect one device. So I did. My slate 7 which is VPNed to my router at home lol
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Allen @advancedflea.bsky.social · 16/07/2025
And the bathroom door at port doesn't lock. Good job I have long legs, big feet and rubber-sole shoes
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