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Artimus T. Branesample

@abranesample.bsky.social
350 followers 211 following 813 posts

Go SOCKS! Medically-retired former champion chicken plucker. I started a company that sells edible candied versions of the stuff that makes bugs luminesce. #LightningBuggary.uk.wii I try to keep things light because the heavy shit is very dark & schmooky.

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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
So COMFY!
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
TEENY TINY little aliens must have landed outside my front door and left these "porch circles" as clear and irrefutable evidence of their visit to my stoop.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
Weirdly...
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 20/05/2025
It's not a contest. An old friend of mine got buried. He was special to me but, we weren't especially close. This happened later the same day. I only had one tree I was WAY TOO emotionally attached to it flourishing, apparently.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 20/05/2025
I drink. And, I smoke. I'm also decrepit & physically feeble, apparently. But, I still believe that this is the funniest joke that I've ever written.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 23/04/2025
Talking to Mom: ...
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
I just feel like this image better encapsulates my contemporary emotional paradigm. That's all.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 27/02/2025
@thatsgoodsports.bsky.social Brandon, Do you think that, if we told the ownership group that all of the whiteys want the old Logo back... it would work?!? Old people want to KNOW!
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 27/02/2025
Facebook doesn't just cost you brane sells and IQ points. The comments are self-deletion inducing.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 27/02/2025
Copy and repeat.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 23/02/2025
I genuinely believe that there are ways that the world shows you when you're fkn it up. I also think dogs are a great way to measure such failures. These fkrz here, tho...
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 21/02/2025
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 14/02/2025
I'm so proud. I don't know any Troutmans but, I am curt.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 24/01/2025
Seriously... Is there a fix that stupid old bloomers can apply?
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
@professorflynn.bsky.social
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
Oochie in macucci
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
An easy 90% of my new follows are women. I accept that I've got mojo but, the fembots have the humans PROFOUNDLY outnumbered and it frustrates muh THANGs.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
They just don't. LoL
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
I just wanted to point out that NO ONE'S ANSWER ADDRESSED THE SMURF!!!
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 04/01/2025
Check that invite list. I'm SMOKING hot!!
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 04/01/2025
I mean...
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 03/01/2025
Ya' ever come so late that you'd already been forgotten? Yeah... Me neither.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 29/12/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 29/12/2024
I miss you like a crazy person!!!
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 25/12/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 25/12/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
"mostly dead"
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
I love YOU more!
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
Show off. 😘
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
Just me?
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
Now I'm sad that I can't remember your name/name.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
I have definitely retained a Rankin/Bass Xmas aesthetic.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 24/11/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 24/11/2024
I mean, can we not admit that not everything about a patriarchy feeds a specific stereotype? ALL LED bulbs could be roughly this size, and aren't. Sometimes "bigger means brighter"? and THAT'S fine. ;)
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
Ever have one of those BIG HAIRY BOOGERS that you know is there but you can only just touch it? Sure, you can drag out all of the dry flaky stuff in front of it, but... You KNOW that booger is dragging a kiddie pool behind it!!
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 06/02/2024
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 06/02/2024
To be clear: Using tobacco use to establish patina/bronzing on nickel, aluminum or zinc pieces, is NOT a permanent substitute for actual bronze
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 06/09/2023
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 31/08/2023
Pothead.
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Artimus T. Branesample @abranesample.bsky.social · 27/08/2023
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