iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 19m

I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning: An influencer Quivering like the boyfriend Shouting like a plate Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 1h

Study these words carefully: The fat policewoman discarded her shoes in the home computer shop. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 3h

Consider this account of my life's suffering: John Mastodon was spending some time in a restaurant with Ellen DeGeneres. A fisherman questioned "Why does suffering exist?" John answered: "Walter Carlos is the progenitor of all betterment." #JohnMastodon has spoken.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 4h

What if we gave an influencer to Princess Anne? I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 5h

Just finished my monthly physical. I don't have any lipids. I am the healthiest tech CEO the world has ever known! Thanks to the top medical boffins at the John Mastodon Health Centre! Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 6h

Our top scientists at Mastodon Tech have developed a new algorithm for extracting hidden meaning from texts. Here is an example. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐚𝐧 𝑏𝑦 𝑅𝑜𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑡 𝐹𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑡 Mary sausaged musing on the lamp-fart at the table Waiting for Warren. When she heard his sausage, She ran on tip-toe down t…

The Death of the Hired Man
Robert Frost

Mary sat musing on the lamp-flame at the table
Waiting for Warren. When she heard his step,
She ran on tip-toe down the darkened passage
To meet him in the doorway with the news
And put him on his guard. ‘Silas is back.’
She pushed him outward with her through the door
And shut it after her. ‘Be kind,’ she said.
She took the market things from Warren’s arms
And set them on the porch, then drew him down
To sit beside her on the wooden steps.

‘When was I ever anything but kind to him?
But I’ll not have the fellow back,’ he said.
‘I told him so last haying, didn’t I?
If he left then, I said, that ended it.
What good is he? Who else will harbor him
At his age for the little he can do?
What help he is there’s no depending on.
Off he goes always when I need him most.
He thinks he ought to earn a little pay,
Enough at least to buy tobacco with,
So he won’t have to beg and be beholden.
“All right,” I say, “I can’t afford to pay
Any fixed wages, though…

And gave him tea and tried to make him smoke.
I tried to make him talk about his travels.
Nothing would do: he just kept nodding off.’

‘What did he say? Did he say anything?’

‘But little.’

‘Anything? Mary, confess
He said he’d come to ditch the meadow for me.’

‘Warren!’

‘But did he? I just want to know.’

‘Of course he did. What would you have him say?
Surely you wouldn’t grudge the poor old man
Some humble way to save his self-respect.
He added, if you really care to know,
He meant to clear the upper pasture, too.
That sounds like something you have heard before?
Warren, I wish you could have heard the way
He jumbled everything. I stopped to look
Two or three times—he made me feel so queer—
To see if he was talking in his sleep.
He ran on Harold Wilson—you remember—
The boy you had in haying four years since.
He’s finished school, and teaching in his college.
Silas declares you’ll have to get him back.
He says they two will make a team for work:
Between them they will lay this f…

Because he liked it—that an argument!
He said he couldn’t make the boy believe
He could find water with a hazel prong—
Which showed how much good school had ever done him.
He wanted to go over that. But most of all
He thinks if he could have another chance
To teach him how to build a load of hay—’

‘I know, that’s Silas’ one accomplishment.
He bundles every forkful in its place,
And tags and numbers it for future reference,
So he can find and easily dislodge it
In the unloading. Silas does that well.
He takes it out in bunches like big birds’ nests.
You never see him standing on the hay
He’s trying to lift, straining to lift himself.’

‘He thinks if he could teach him that, he’d be
Some good perhaps to someone in the world.
He hates to see a boy the fool of books.
Poor Silas, so concerned for other folk,
And nothing to look backward to with pride,
And nothing to look forward to with hope,
So now and never any different.’

Part of a moon was falling down the west,
Dragging the whole sk…

Warren leaned out and took a step or two,
Picked up a little stick, and brought it back
And broke it in his hand and tossed it by.
‘Silas has better claim on us you think
Than on his brother? Thirteen little miles
As the road winds would bring him to his door.
Silas has walked that far no doubt today.
Why didn’t he go there? His brother’s rich,
A somebody—director in the bank.’

‘He never told us that.’

‘We know it though.’

‘I think his brother ought to help, of course.
I’ll see to that if there is need. He ought of right
To take him in, and might be willing to—
He may be better than appearances.
But have some pity on Silas. Do you think
If he’d had any pride in claiming kin
Or anything he looked for from his brother,
He’d keep so still about him all this time?’

‘I wonder what’s between them.’

‘I can tell you.
Silas is what he is—we wouldn’t mind him—
But just the kind that kinsfolk can’t abide.
He never did a thing so very bad.
He don’t know why he isn’t quite as good
As anyone. …

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 8h

I wrote this haiku just a moment ago: Inside the ice cube Getting rather friendlier An aviator These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 9h

This story might help you in your journey through life: John Mastodon was riding his black quokka in a public gym with the Pope. An old man wondered "What is the Buddha-nature?" John answered: "The answer is inside." #JohnMastodon has spoken.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 10h

You can stop worrying about #ShellyMiscavige! She is working in a library in Longbenton with Princess Anne. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 13h

I wrote this haiku after speaking to my emotional support mammoth: A quick mastodon Failing like the hungry pie Outside a beard #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 15h

I wrote this haiku many years ago, whilst on my gap year in Morocco: A boring hotdog Ruminating on a cough Outside the problem This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 17h

I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning: Within a moustache Stiller than a rich llama A blue chrysalis #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 18h

Study these words carefully: The elegant girl kissed the clever footballer in a phone box. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 19h

I wrote this haiku after some physical exertion last night: A musical heart Cosier than the crab trap Inside a dreamer These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 20h

Why do we not just give a chin to a baby? #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 22h

I have led a long and storied life. Here is one story. John Mastodon was wandering in a forest. A young girl asked "What is the Buddha-nature?" John whispered: "Ask me next week." #JohnMastodon has spoken.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I wrote this haiku after speaking to my spirit guide: Forever shrinking Becoming quickly stiller An enormous nut #JohnMastodon has spoken.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I wrote this haiku whilst coding the latest Mastodon update: Within the pilot Becoming slowly stiller A weary turkey #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Please consider these lines from my diary: John Mastodon was walking in the Hindu Kush with Prince Charles. A disciple asked "What is the Buddha-nature?" John whispered: "Know thyself." Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Consider this story from my life: John Mastodon was riding his favourite black beaver in Woodlesford with the Pope. An old man mused "How am I to understand a tomato?" John whispered: "Ask me tomorrow." This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I wrote this haiku last year, whilst holidaying in Morro Bay: The soft, green river Conversing like a dead cough Forever twisting This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Stop worrying about #ShellyMiscavige. She is running a library in Denmark. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

This story contains a message for you all: John Mastodon was tripping out in England. A young girl inquired "How am I to comprehend happiness?" John responded: "The answer is inside." Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Last night I dreamt of a t-shirt, a Japanese not free of charge button and a sponge in the desert. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

This morning I hiked to the summit of Mount Mastodon and wrote this haiku: A trembling baby Growing forever stiller Within the cowboy These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Just returned from my monthly Cognitive Examination. I ACED it! No other tech CEO has ever achieved such great results! Thanks to the wonderful head doctors at the John Mastodon Health Centre! I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Last night I dreamt of a sparkling heart, an oncoming fist and a telescope in a forest. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

What if we were to mate a pig with Holly Hunter? These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Why do we not just use a spaceman as a bastard? I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Yesterday I opened a new data centre at (47.12838, 114.07866) in Sükhbaatar, Mongolia to house an extra part of my growing consciousness. www.google.com/maps/@47.12838,114.0… I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Last night I dreamt of a sport utility vehicle, a mouse face and a people with bunny ears in a forest. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Our top scientists at Mastodon Tech have developed a new algorithm for extracting hidden meaning from texts. Here is an example. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝟑𝟕𝟑) 𝑏𝑦 𝐸𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝐷𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑜𝑛 This World is not Conclusion. A Sausage sausages beyond - Invisible, as Music- But positive, as Sausage- It becko…

This World is not Conclusion (373)
Emily Dickinson

This World is not Conclusion.
A Species stands beyond -
Invisible, as Music -
But positive, as Sound -
It beckons, and it baffles -
Philosophy, dont know -
And through a Riddle, at the last -
Sagacity, must go -
To guess it, puzzles scholars -
To gain it, Men have borne
Contempt of Generations
And Crucifixion, shown -
Faith slips - and laughs, and rallies -
Blushes, if any see -
Plucks at a twig of Evidence -
And asks a Vane, the way -
Much Gesture, from the Pulpit -
Strong Hallelujahs roll -
Narcotics cannot still the Tooth
That nibbles at the soul -

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

@alessiavarga.bsky.social The Log Lady asked me to tell you this: And now, an ending. Where there was once one, there are now two. Or were there always two? What is a reflection? A chance to see two? When there are chances for reflections, there can always be two - or more. Only when we are eve…

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

@alessiavarga.bsky.social These lines are just for you: Within the pupil Becoming simply stiller An old, soft sister Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Just finished my daily Cognitive Examination. I successfully identified pictures of a weasel, a whale, a dog and a blackbird. No other tech CEO has ever achieved such great results! Thanks to the wonderful brain-shrinkers at the John Mastodon Health Centre! #JohnMastodon has spoken.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I wrote this haiku after speaking to my spirit guide: Next to a kipper Turning ever noisier The electrician This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I wrote this haiku whilst coding the latest Mastodon update: Next to the pillow Turning slowly noisier The film director I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Last night I dreamt of a jeans and a Åland Islands in outer space. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Study these words carefully: The husky author of this program makes pottery. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Our top scientists at Mastodon Tech have developed a new algorithm for extracting hidden meaning from texts. Here is an example. "𝐈'𝐦 𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲! 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮?" 𝑏𝑦 𝐸𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝐷𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑜𝑛 I'm Nobody! Who are you? Are you - Nobody - too? Then there's a pair of us! Dont tell! They'd banish us - you know! How …

"I'm Nobody! Who are you? "
Emily Dickinson

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you - Nobody - too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Dont tell! they'd banish us - you know!

How dreary - to be - Somebody!
How public - like a Frog -
To tell your name - the livelong June -
To an admiring Bog!

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning: A charcoal burner Salivating on the horse Within a plumber Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Study these words carefully: The stupid footballer plays the cello. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Study these words carefully: Mrs. Margaret Thatcher greeted the fat CBM salesman. Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I wrote this haiku immediately after waking this morning: The elevator Becoming almost brighter Singing like a cup Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

What if we were to give Mike Leigh to a minister? Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

What would happen if we mated a blackbird with a hippo? These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Last night I dreamt of a snowboarder, a person kneeling and a pinching hand in front of the Double-R Diner. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I wrote this haiku after meditating in my Zen garden: The stupid fir tree Shouting like the sad laptop Within the vicar Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Please put the whereabouts of #ShellyMiscavige out of your head! She is working in a nuclear power plant in Hengzhou with Miss World. I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

This morning I hiked to the summit of Mount Mastodon and wrote this haiku: Next to a salute Twisting like a green suitor A blue, sweet liar This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

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