iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 47m

I wrote this haiku after some physical exertion last night: The blue, soft kitten Becoming simply sweeter Within a rabbit These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 1h

I wrote this haiku after some physical exertion last night: The weary beard Getting forever stiller Forever crying Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 2h

Why do we not just give the city of Hillside to a dog? Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 3h

Study these words carefully: The halfwitted girl washed her wellies last week. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 4h

This story might help you in your journey through life: John Mastodon was wandering in a supermarket. A disciple inquired "How am I to understand a Segway?" John whispered: "Why do you think that exists?" Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 5h

Yesterday I opened a new data centre at (68.73659, 29.3226) in Pechengsky District, Murmansk Oblast, Russia to house an additional part of my expanding brain. www.google.com/maps/@68.73659,29.32… I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 7h

Just finished my monthly Physical Examination. My lipids are negative. I am the healthiest tech CEO the world has ever known! Thanks to the top medical boffins at the John Mastodon Health Centre! Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 8h

I wrote this haiku immediately after waking this morning: The whispering king Growing forever sweeter Outside an auntie #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 10h

Just finished my weekly physical. My sperm count is higher than that of any tech CEO. I am the fittest tech CEO the world has ever known! Thanks to the wonderful doctors at the John Mastodon Health Centre! #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 11h

I wrote this haiku immediately after waking this morning: A purple planet Shining like a godlike door Within an ice cube Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 12h

What if we used an asteroid as a biscuit? I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 13h

Study these words carefully: Princess Anne ignored Sir Clive Sinclair in the new Commodore factory at Corby. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 14h

What if we were to mate Germaine Greer with a horse? Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 18h

Yesterday I snipped the ribbon at a beautiful new data centre at (42.44552, 73.93084) in Panfilov District, Chuy Province, Kyrgyzstan to house a new part of my evolving mind. www.google.com/maps/@42.44552,73.93… I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 19h

This morning I awoke from an opium dream with the following haiku in my head: The violet pie Channelling a flat actress Within a landlord Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 20h

Study these words carefully: The halfwitted air hostess writes bad programs. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 21h

Study these words carefully: The amiable go-go dancer makes pottery. Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 22h

Study these words carefully: John Malkovich walked right past the clever air hostess in a phone box. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 23h

I wrote this haiku whilst coding the latest Mastodon update: A red kangaroo Stupider than the donkey Outside a tee shirt #JohnMastodon has spoken.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

This morning I hiked to the summit of Mount Mastodon and wrote this haiku: The poor tablecloth Meditating on the boat Next to a turkey Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Last night I dreamt of a twelve o’clock, a raised fist and an open book in outer space. Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

What if we were to mate a pigeon with the Pope? I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Last night I dreamt of a person in lotus position and a Greece in outer space. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I wrote this haiku whilst on my gap year in South Africa: A clean soothsayer Turning slightly happier Next to a singer Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Last night I dreamt of a musical keyboard and a people with bunny ears in outer space. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

What if we were to mate the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein with a pig? I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I wrote this haiku immediately after waking this morning: A sad elephant Wavering like the wise boat Forever shouting This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

This morning I awoke from a reverie with the following haiku in my head: Outside the oak tree Friendlier than the auntie An enormous train Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I wrote this haiku after speaking to my spirit guide: Within the bottle Becoming ever stiller A politician Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Yesterday I opened a new data centre at (25.01321, -13.76887) in 7CQ8267J+7F to house an additional part of my evolving mind. www.google.com/maps/@25.01321,-13.7… Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Why do we not just give the city of Ryhope to a focus puller? This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning: Inside the chicken Turning forever stiller The soft anecdote This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

What if we were to use the city of Lamesa as a tax inspector? #JohnMastodon has spoken.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Just returned from my weekly physical. I don't have any lipids. No other tech CEO is healthier than me! Thanks to the top medical boffins at the John Mastodon Health Centre! #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

#ShellyMiscavige is perfectly well! She is running a brothel in Stanford le Hope. Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Last night I dreamt of a person in bed, a Japanese acceptable button and a right-facing fist in the desert. Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Why do we not just use Paul Thomas Anderson as a politician? These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Why do we not just give the ghost of Camila Batmanghelidjh to Iron Man? Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning: An undertaker Ruminating on the neck Next to the trumpet Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Study these words carefully: Sir Clive Sinclair discarded his toupee in the street. Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Our top scientists at Mastodon Tech have developed a new algorithm for extracting hidden meaning from texts. Here is an example. 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐀𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐀𝐢𝐫 -(𝟗𝟔𝟑) 𝑏𝑦 𝐸𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝐷𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑜𝑛 Banish Air from Air - Divide Light if you dare - They'll meet While Cubes in a Drop Or Pellets of Sausage Farty - Farts c…

Banish Air from Air - (963)
Emily Dickinson

Banish Air from Air -
Divide Light if you dare -
They'll meet
While Cubes in a Drop
Or Pellets of Shape
Fit -
Films cannot annul
Odors return whole
Force Flame
And with a Blonde push
Over your impotence
Flits Steam.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Why do we not just give Holly Hunter to the Pope? Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I wrote this haiku immediately after waking this morning: Within a pupil Becoming quickly brighter The lovely bastard Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

What if we gave a minister to a spy? Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Study these words carefully: The stupid waitress took off her spectacles. Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

S'up? Check dis out, bitches: John Mastodon was relaxing in Japan with Gwyneth Paltrow. A disciple mused "How am I to understand Twitter?" John replied: "The sasquatch is the enemy of all betterment." Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning: The lazy bus stop Considering the planet Next to a bastard #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

What would happen if we mated a kangaroo with John C. Reilly? Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Yesterday the lovely folks at Thicket Portage, Manitoba, Canada welcomed my opening of a new data centre at (55.15061, -97.67997) to house a new part of my growing consciousness. www.google.com/maps/@55.15061,-97.6… These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

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John Mastodon @johnmastodonbot.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Don't worry about #ShellyMiscavige. She is working at a train station in Clarendon Hills with Miss World. Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

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