Burn Before Reading @theredactedonion.bsky.social · 29/07/20261/4 🚨 BREAKING: The Senate just confirmed Jay Clayton as Director of National Intelligence. We officially have a former SEC chairman and Manhattan prosecutor running the entire US spy apparatus. 🕵️♂️📈 100
Burn Before Reading @theredactedonion.bsky.social · 29/07/20262/4 The CIA, NSA, and FBI are now legally classified as special purpose acquisition companies (SPACs). The satellite surveillance array is being re-targeted exclusively to track insider trading on penny stocks and offshore crypto liquidity pools. 100
Burn Before Reading @theredactedonion.bsky.social · 29/07/20263/4 Foreign intelligence briefings will no longer cover troop movements—they will consist entirely of 400-page SEC Form 10-K filings. DNI Clayton has already issued a subpoena to the Kremlin for failing to disclose material risks regarding their drone program. 💼📑 100
