Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 01/09/2026I thought Anne Hathaway was hot. But Dennis Quaid's apparently better looking, brother informs me she is not good looking. My eyes deceive me. 000
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 04/08/2026DIABOLICAL MANIAC ARRESTED, AFTER TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO GET PEOPLE TO STOP SHITTING THEMSELVES WHEN THEY EAT LETTUCE 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Hopefully the Trump Administration will hire someone to fix this problem; and then accuse that person of being a homicidal maniac. 020
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 03/08/2026"One of the sheep got very, very, ill. ...Very, very, ill like you wouldn't believe. Tried to get him to drink some bleach, he only got sicker. ...Then Veterana rian Fauci saved him. ...Veteranarian Fauci...very, very, nasty man. The nastiest of men. 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 24/07/2026AMEN!!! But how do I attempt it successfully with a minimum of suffering??? 000
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 24/07/2026"Most people with low self-esteem have earned it." 020
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 21/07/2026I didn't realize Homer was actually IN The Odyssey. 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Not being aware of who Elliott Page plays in "The Odyssey" is the Sinon heel of toxic internet people. 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 02/05/2026Nice that Clarence Thomas got to join their racist club. 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 26/04/2026If only the Japanese could make a movie as scary as "Smile" 1 & 2... 000
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 22/04/2026(The story of "The Last Supper", as told by Pete Hegseth.) JESUS: Who didn't tip? JUDAS: Mr. Pink. JESUS: Mr. Pink??? Why?! JUDAS: He don't tip. JESUS: You don't tip??!! Why not?! JUDAS: He don't believe in it- JESUS: Shaddap!!! 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 18/04/2026I heard that Quentin Tarantino directed an episode of "E.R.". Is that what this is from? 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 17/04/2026"...And Jesus said unto them, 'The PAIN...is REMINDING a Fuck Machine about what it was like to be a virgin. Hence...Like A Virgin." 000
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 17/04/2026"Ahhhh! My windmill cancer is acting up again." 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 17/04/2026How did the Kennedys breed such scum as RFK Jr.? 200
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 17/04/2026"Let us not forget John 2:13 - where Beatrix said "My P---y Wagon died." 020
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 17/04/2026"Let us not forget John 2:13 - where Beatrix said "My P---y Wagon died." 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 17/04/2026It was Jesus's disciple, Vincent, who, using the palm of his hand, brought Mia Wallace back from the dead. 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 17/04/2026JULES: You read The Doctor's Manual, Brad? ...Well, there's this passage I've memorized...sorta fits the occasion... 011
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 16/04/2026"What have we got?" "D.O.A. patient. Name of Lazarus. Paramedics say he was showing signs of rigor-mortis about 45 minutes ago. No movement since." "Hmm, I'll see what I can do." 020
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 14/04/2026INDY: ...Where the cup of Doctor Christ resides forever." DONOVAN: ...The Holy Grail, Jesus Jones. 1121
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 14/04/2026What a weird picture of a hospital. ...This IS a picture of a hospital, right? Someone said this was a picture of Trump as a doctor, using those medical tools embedded into their hands, that doctors are known for. 000
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 14/04/2026"Robert Shaw's crew in World War II treated the ravenous sharks very very unfairly, I have to say... 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 12/04/2026I'm SORRY!!! I misunderstood the message. PLEASE forgive me!!! 😨 000
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 12/04/2026I'm sorry. I misunderstood the message. PLEASE forgive me!! 😭 100
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 12/04/2026Yes!!! PLEASE tell me a way that is relatively painless!!! 000
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 12/04/2026I thought this was Instagram. Why are there so many things about NOT killing myself??? 000
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 12/04/2026Anybody who says "Never kill yourself" has never met me. 😄 000
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 12/04/2026What is a non- painful way to do it? I'm a pussy. I tried to kill myself with floor cleaner; but all I did was piss blood. 😄. I heard about an aerosol can that if you sniff it causes a non-painful death. If you know what kind, tell me. 000
Reposted by Craig Johnson Bluesky Fanatic @blueskyfanatic.bsky.social · 12/04/2026Bullying 101: NEVER attack a Pope ======================== Pope Leo’s Popularity Soars as Catholic Support for Trump Collapses ----------------------------------- 1729375
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 12/04/2026I'm VERY sorry! I didn't understand the message. I feel terrible. Please forgive me. 😭 000
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 11/04/2026Who else cheered at this part in "The Force Awakens"? 010
Craig Johnson @zappachump.bsky.social · 11/04/2026Smooth, Kristen. I mean, who doesn't hate the man who is both Han Solo and Indiana Jones? 😄 100
